Anonymously Charming
by C1ndy3lla
Summary: Hermione is about start her new career when her friends insist on a night out using the charm she invented during her charms mastery. Under it's influence, the charm disguises physical features allowing them to remain anonymous. She meets a man with whom she instantly connects but realizes he's used her charm as well. But Hermione makes a mistake...full summary inside.
1. The Night They Met

Full summary: Hermione is about start her new career as the Charms Professor at Hogwarts when her friends insist on a celebratory night out using the charm she invented during her charms mastery. Under it's influence, the charm disguises physical features allowing them to remain anonymous. She meets a man with whom she instantly connects but realizes he's used her charm as well. But Hermione makes a mistake, one that will potentially change both their lives forever, but will she be able to find him again? Adding to her emotional confusion are her emerging feelings for her employer, Headmaster Severus Snape.

* * *

Hermione looked herself over in the full-length mirror hanging over her bathroom door; it was one of the last items left unpacked in her now-desolate London flat. Smoothing her hands down the sides of her low-cut, black dress with straps so small they couldn't possibly be supporting anything, she turned sideways and fidgeted uncomfortably as she thought about the evening ahead.

It was her last night in the city, having accepted the position of Charms Professor at Hogwarts after Flitwick retired earlier in the year, and her friends were determined to spend a night on the town celebrating with her. Hermione would have much preferred a quiet dinner at home followed by an evening engrossed in whatever tome she was currently reading. Her friends, however, would not be dissuaded, so here she was gearing up for an evening of drinks and dancing when she really should probably finish her packing and turn in early. It wouldn't do to show up on her first day hungover and exhausted.

She sat tentatively on the edge of her bed, and pulled on her black, peep-toe pumps and felt thoroughly uncomfortable in the ensemble Ginny and Lavender has chosen for her days earlier. She'd voiced her displeasure in their selection at the time only to be met with insistence from Ginny that she wouldn't have the chance to 'get some action for eons' as her red-headed friend had phrased it where the only shag-able person was arguably the dour headmaster who was considered to be emotionally unavailable.

Deciding she needed a pre-party drink, Hermione took a few wobbly steps toward the kitchen before spelling her shoes to wear like her much more comfortable flats. When she reached the kitchen, she carefully pulled a glass from her beaded handbag, cautious so to not disrupt the contents of her entire flat which were currently packed neatly inside. Pouring herself a generous helping of firewhisky, her fireplace sprung to life as Ginny and Harry arrived while she downed the glass in one gulp.

"Hermione, you look STUNNING!" exclaimed Ginny as she crossed the room to hug her friend. Pulling back to look her over more carefully, Ginny twirled her around to examine her ensemble before turning to Harry. "Harry, doesn't she look fantastic?!"

"You look beautiful, as always, Hermione," said Harry smirking at his best friend. Hermione knew Harry could tell just how uncomfortable she was in her outfit, but knowing Ginny's role in selecting it, he wasn't about to go against his wife's opinion of how Hermione should be dressed for a night on the town.

"At least nobody will realize it's me in this ridiculous get-up," said Hermione as she poured herself another helping of firewhisky. In the years following the war, those most closely involved with Voldemort's defeat had taken to using a special glamour to disguise themselves in public. They hoped to enjoy the anonymity of an evening out without having to deal with the machinations of The Daily Prophet, and they'd grown weary of the frequent interruptions by well-meaning supporters wishing to thank them for their efforts. Hermione had developed the charm herself as her capstone project when finishing her charms mastery. It served to disguise any distinguishing features, which would make a person unrecognizable but without altering his or her general physical characteristics.

It had taken years of experimentation to get right, but it was important to Hermione that the charm wouldn't deceive the men she'd met while under it's influence by making her slimmer, taller, or prettier and instead only disguise the fact that she was a celebrity to the majority of the wizarding world. That way if she ever met the right person, she could reveal herself without worrying the glamour had ultimately contributed to a suitor's desire for her. To date, she'd never reached an appropriate level of comfort with anyone to expose her true identity.

Flourishing her wand and applying the glamour to the three of them as she finished her second drink of the evening, Hermione asked, "Alright you two, where are we meeting everyone?"

"We're going to a new club George recommended," replied Ginny. "According to him the night scene is a little more relaxed, so hopefully even with your disdain for bar-hopping and the usual club atmosphere, you can still enjoy yourself!" she smirked.

"Well if I'm putting a damper on your evening, I can always stay behind and..."

"Oh no you don't, Hermione." Harry said, grabbing her arm. "We found a babysitter for Jamie and everything! I need a few hours of adult only conversation that doesn't revolve around work or the consistency of my baby's diapers..." he chuckled.

Putting her hands up in surrender, Hermione walked toward the floo. "Alright you two, I'm going, but if I embarrass myself this evening, you two are entirely to blame." She picked up a handful of floo powder and in a flash of green flames she was off to Diagon Alley.

* * *

At 4:30 am a thoroughly disheveled Hermione reappeared in her flat. She wandlessly cast a tempus charm already knowing she had precious little time to finish packing and right herself before she was due at Hogwarts by 7:30 am for the start-of-term staff breakfast and inaugural staff meeting for the year. Deciding a shower was the first order of business, she peeled her dress and her pumps off her body as she ran the water and allowed it to heat up to an acceptable temperature that wouldn't lull her to sleep as she bathed. Taking down her now-mangled french twist, she stepped into the shower and sighed as she considered the events of the prior evening.

As promised, they had met a large group of their friends at the club, and she was pleasantly surprised to find Ginny had been right about the overall atmosphere. Rather than blaring music, strobe lights, and a mass of sweating, grinding witches and wizards, Hermione found a relatively well-lit atmosphere with a live band playing a variety of music from modern pop to smooth jazz. The group proceeded to order drinks and appetizers to munch on throughout the evening, and Hermione started to enjoy the celebrations with the group that had shown up to send Hermione to Hogwarts along with their well-wishes. In addition to Harry and Ginny, Neville had been waiting in the club with his fiance Hannah, along with Luna and her boyfriend Rolf, George Weasley, and the Patil sisters. Ron had arrived later with his girlfriend Lavender, with whom he'd reconnected earlier in the year at a conference he'd been attending in his role assisting his brother's business. They'd hit it off and swiftly rekindled their Hogwarts romance, about which Hermione was pleased after she'd spent the better part of two years feeling guilty for breaking things off with Ron midway through her mastery program.

Already two drinks in when she arrived, it didn't take Hermione long lose her inhibitions and start to enjoy her time with her friends. A few hours into their frivolity and somewhat tired from her exertions on the dance floor, Hermione approached the bar and requested a glass of water to take the edge off her buzz, which was teetering on the edge of full-blown drunkenness after sweating out what little hydration had been left in her body at the start of the evening. Sitting momentarily to sip the beverage, she glanced around and made eye contact with another gentleman sitting across the bar. He was somewhat older than Hermione, she would have guessed 15-20 years her senior, tall and lanky with dark hair and eyes. Noticing her gaze, he arched an eyebrow in appreciation as her lips quirked into a closed-lipped smile and she blushed slightly as she glanced down to covertly to check her appearance.

Chancing another look at him, when their eyes met he arose from his seat and moved gracefully around the bar into the chair next to hers. He reminded her of someone, though in her drunken state she couldn't quite place who, but she found herself immeasurably attracted to the man. As the water cascaded over her shoulders, Hermione struggled to remember what they had talked about as they sat beside each other at the bar, but she remembered that conversation flowed easily between them and she felt relieved to have finally met someone from whom she didn't feel the need to hide her intellect. Before she realized, the bartenders were signalling last call, and as she rose to say goodbye to the man and rejoin her friends, he asked if she might fancy a coffee with him at his home in Cokeworth.

Hermione, eager to accept his invitation, excused herself momentarily to say goodbye to her friends and let them know she'd find her own way home for the evening. Ginny and Lavender were quick to offer a wink and encouragement to rejoin her new companion while Harry and Neville insisted she keep her wand at the ready at all times and send a patronus if she found herself in any trouble. Hermione bit her lip and nodded before turning back to grasp the hand of the man at the bar and allowed him to apparate her to his residence.

Neither of them really seemed to know who initiated it, but nearly as soon as they'd entered the house their lips had found each others' and they were tearing at each other's clothes like hormonal fourth-years. One thing led to another, and they ended the evening naked and asleep in each others' arms on the rug in front of a roaring fire. When Hermione woke a few hours later hungover and sticky with the dried evidence of their exertions, she quietly collected her clothes and glanced back at the man who had pleasured her thoroughly the night before. She briefly considered leaving a note until she noticed the familiar evidence of her glamour charm. Realizing, like her, he likely wanted a no-strings-attached dalliance when he'd gone out the preceding evening, she decided it would be hypocritical and inappropriate to ask for more from the man.

Now as she emerged from the shower and toweled herself dry, she wondered whether she would ever cross paths with the man again. Then, remembering she was pressed for time, she downed a hangover potion and turned her attentions back to finishing her packing and preparing for her first day in her new role as a Hogwarts professor.

* * *

A/N: Does anyone else have dreams that inspire ideas for a story? That's what happened here and I haven't been able to stop writing all day. More chapters to come soon!


	2. A Different, Emerging Romance

Severus walked briskly down the circular staircase leading from his office at Hogwarts on his way to the annual staff welcome breakfast. He was uncharacteristically late after spending a late-night in London after Minerva had suggested he "get out and experience the world more often." Rolling his eyes at the memory, he recalled her pushing him forcibly from his office the prior evening following dinner with instructions to not return until midnight at the earliest. "I thought it was customary in literature to stipulate a time by which one must return?" he asked impetuously as he crossed his arms over his chest in protest and rolled his eyes at his older colleague.

"Those rules are for impressionable young girls who probably shouldn't be out in the first place and would in all likelihood find themselves in all sorts of mischief should they not return before curfew, not middle-aged headmasters who haven't emerged from their self-imposed solitude for the better part of the last 25 years!" Minerva huffed as she continued to manhandle him to his quarters and proceeded to look through his closet in an effort to find him something suitable to wear.

Although he had mellowed considerably in the years following the war, he had to acknowledge Minerva did have a somewhat valid argument. He'd spent the majority of his life being volleyed between two arguably-insane masters, and after the war ended he had thrown himself into his duties as headmaster in an effort to separate his true legacy from that of his year running the school under Voldemort's command. During the war, he'd never considered attempting to find companionship as he couldn't truly be himself while acting in his capacity as a spy, and he knew he wouldn't be able to guarantee the safety of anyone closely connected with him should his position with either side become compromised. Now that those days were over, he found himself longing for companionship, but in addition to his lack of time to engage in such pursuits, the entirety of the wizarding world believed him to be hung up on the ghost of Lily Potter.

In the years following the war, he had made time to process through the lingering feelings he'd clung to since Lily's death and realized that while he'd always regret the role he played in her passing, he knew that they were never well-suited for one another and relinquished his unrequited love for his childhood best friend. Despite his efforts to move past these feelings, if The Daily Prophet were to be believed, he had dinner regularly with The Potters to commiserate with Harry over the loss of his mother. As always, the press took a grain of truth and twisted it into an outlandish falsehood. He did dine with Harry and Ginny regularly after he'd given Harry a box of a variety of pictures and mementos from his childhood in Spinner's End after he'd met Lily in addition to a vial of memories from their days as friends at Hogwarts. He knew Harry had lost everyone else who could share this knowledge of either of his parents, and as he suspected, the young man had been deeply appreciative of the gesture. Having reconciled with her son, Severus felt he could finally put Lily well and truly behind him.

Continuing his descent from his office, he paused momentarily to consume a vial of hangover potion and silently reviewed the list of agenda items he'd planned to discuss during their staff meeting. He had instituted the tradition of an annual start-of-term staff breakfast the year following the war when the school had been reopened and he'd been reinstated as Headmaster. To say everyone had been shocked when he survived Nagini's vicious attack had been an understatement. What saved him in the end was the time he'd spent two years previously developing and testing the anti-venom that had saved Arthur Weasley. He'd further developed it so he could consume it as a precautionary measure, knowing that damned snake was the most likely way he'd meet his end, and his preparations combined with the unrelenting care of Miss Hermione Granger when she returned to the Shrieking Shack after the fighting had stopped had ultimately saved his life.

Although initially annoyed by her inability to leave things well enough alone while he was recovering, he found relatively quickly during his convalescence that the caustic persona he'd adopted as a spy was rather exhausting in the wake of the battle, and he gradually allowed himself to form a...well...he wasn't really sure what to call it. They weren't exactly close enough for him to feel comfortable calling her a friend, but they'd kept up correspondence while Miss Granger had completed her charms mastery, and he had been quick to offer her the position of Charms Professor when Flitwick had announced his retirement.

Although they hadn't spent any time together since she'd started her mastery and he'd returned to Hogwarts as headmaster, he thought of the young witch often and was impressed with the young woman she'd become. He'd begun to think of her rather fondly, and had tentatively hoped he might have the opportunity to get to know her more and possibly even become friends with the witch now that she was returning to the castle indefinitely. He was eager to hear about her apprenticeship under the renowned, German charms master Frederich Von Mueller, and hoped she could help him breathe life into the curriculum at Hogwarts.

He had worked tirelessly with Minerva to make great strides in creating inter-house unity after the war, and although relationships among students of different houses had improved immensely, there was still some tension between pure-blooded students and those who were muggle-born. Severus hoped Hermione might be able to help him design new initiatives to bridge the gap between these groups of students, and this wish had contributed immensely to his desire to hire her.

Although he was loathe to admit it to himself, Severus was actually quite attracted to the younger woman. Having seen her picture repeatedly in The Daily Prophet and The Quibbler as she pursued her mastery abroad, he knew she had matured into a considerable beauty, which combined with her intelligence and the maturity of her letters to him appealed to Severus immensely. When he decided to visit a club in London while following Minerva's instructions the night prior to the staff's arrival (under the guise of one of Hermione's clever glamours) he was immediately drawn to a woman at the bar who reminded him very much of Miss Granger.

Pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to stave off his headache upon emerging from the staircase into the sunlit corridor, he tried to ignore his rising disappointment that he'd woke this morning to find his home at Spinner's End empty, and he had no further leads on where he might find the captivating witch he'd spent the previous evening conversing with and subsequently fucking. He recalled how soft and supple he skin had felt under his caresses as she kissed him tenderly as they fell asleep in the aftermath of their interlude. He had hoped to ask her to dinner formally so he'd have even more opportunity to get to know the woman, but unfortunately she'd disappeared in the night before he could obtain even her name.

Sighing in frustration as he entered the Great Hall, he immediately noticed the actual Miss Granger, conversing animatedly with Minerva McGonagall and seemingly excited about her new role as a Hogwarts professor. He smirked as he approached the dais, remembering her enthusiastic response to his letter offering her the position, but quickly regained himself as his staff meeting came to order. The professors breakfasted while he discussed Quidditch schedules, after-hours rounds, and curriculum changes for the year, and after he'd finally finished conveying the updates, he took his seat at the center of the table, and was pleasantly surprised that Minerva had sat Hermione between her and himself.

He raised an eyebrow at the older witch who simply shrugged and smirked in amusement before turning back to her conversation with Professor Sinistra. Turning his attention toward the young witch he said, "Good morning, Miss...I mean Professor Granger. I apologize for the slip-of-the-tongue, a matter of habit I assure you. I have every confidence you will be an outstanding addition to our staff." He was babbling in his embarrassment at having referred to her using her former title as a student, and quickly tried to regain control of himself and the conversation. "Have you had the opportunity to unpack and settle yourself into your quarters before joining us this morning?"

Hermione smiled gently as she turned toward him to reply. "Good morning, Headmaster. I'm not offended in the slightest, and unfortunately I haven't had a chance to get to my quarters yet this morning. I had a bit of a late night as my friends wished to send me off with a bit of a celebration." She blushed slightly as she spoke, and Severus found he'd like to see her blush more often. She looked quite lovely with a little color to her cheeks.

Shaking his head slightly to bring himself back to the present, he asked, "Would you care to accompany me after breakfast so I can show you to your quarters? I'd also like to discuss with you my thoughts on creating better rapport between the pureblood and muggle-born students this year if you have a few..."

"Oh yes!" she interrupted. "You wrote me about some of your thoughts on how we might encourage more camaraderie among the students and I've been quite excited to get started! Please, I'd be so appreciative if you could show me my quarters and any of the other parts of the castle with which I should become acquainted as a professor." She beamed at him, and although Severus was used to her enthusiasm, he had never seen so much of it directed at him. He coughed slightly as he felt his throat tighten at his involuntary reaction to her smile, and she immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, sir." she muttered. "I know I can be quite exuberant when it comes to academia and I didn't mean to disrupt your breakfast. Let me know when you're ready to proceed," she said, her blush spreading further to her collarbone and disappearing beneath her blouse.

Severus quickly cleared his throat, realizing he had almost allowed his eyes to wander to her breasts, and stood rapidly offering his hand to the witch. "I'm finished anyways, Professor Granger," he said, recovering smoothly. "Shall we?"

* * *

As Hermione followed him though the halls of Hogwarts, she suddenly realized who the man at the bar had reminded her of: Severus Snape. Watching him carefully as they ascended the moving staircases, she realized that they even displayed some of the same mannerisms. Although she remembered being somewhat fascinated with him when he had been her professor and when she'd assisted with his recovery, it wasn't until this moment that she realized she was attracted to the man. Although initially startled at the thought, she quickly reasoned that her attraction to him was rather logical given that they were both so intellectually driven, exceedingly faithful to others, and similarly disinclined to engage in social frivolity when there was an excellent book or journal to be consumed instead.

As she emerged from her thoughts, she realized she'd been staring at his backside for the duration of his journey throughout the castle, and shook her head to bring herself back to earth. She couldn't afford the distraction, not in the midst of a new career and everything that would be expected of her in the coming months. Of course she would welcome his assistance with open arms; perhaps it would even grant her an opportunity to become closer to the man, even friendly perhaps. She vowed to focus solely on her work for the first several months and ignore her desire for the older man.

After giving her a grand tour of the parts of the castle which had been forbidden to her as a student, the headmaster had invited Hermione into his office for a cup of tea and to discuss some of his ideas to better integrate pure-blooded students with the muggle-borns. Hermione was quick to provide her suggestion that they do away with the Muggle Studies course and replace it with classes that focused on differences in wizard culture and would highlight both the experience of growing up as a muggle as well as the experience growing up in the wizarding world. "I think this would give the students more opportunities to get to know one another and understand the experience of their classmates," she'd said as she took a tentative sip.

Professor Snape remained silent for a moment while he considered Hermione's proposal. Finally he responded, "I agree the idea has merit Professor Granger, but right now the class is voluntary and enrollment has been rather low for years as you probably remember from your time as a student. How do you propose we get more students interested?"

"I know this would create a challenge with the timetables," Hermione offered, "but I think the best solution would be to make the course requisite. We may possible be able to combine it with the history of magic curriculum for the older students or hold class on a more infrequent basis. And please, sir, call me Hermione. I appreciate your desire to use my formal title, but if we're to be friends I'd much prefer you to use my given name." She smiled demurely as she spoke and noticed the professors lips quirk upward slightly at her request.

"Then you must call me Severus. I've enjoyed our correspondence over the years and I find that I'd very much like to be your friend Hermione." She smiled broadly at him as he spoke and he found him self returning her smile genuinely. They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing how they might rework the curriculum to incorporate Hermione's suggestion.

* * *

Despite her noble intentions, Hermione increasingly struggled keep Severus from her mind as the first several weeks of the term passed. Her transition into teaching had been remarkably easy, and she took to professorship like a duck to water. While she was thrilled by her success thus far, the ease at which she found herself in the classroom and her confidence and efficiency in planning her lessons had freed up an increasing amount of room in her brain for a variety of creative daydreams involving her and the Headmaster.

Her deepening affection was egged on by their weekly dinners in his quarters over an occasional game of chess and their perusal of academic journals together as well as their continuing discussions about ways to bring about greater unity among the student body. In addition to instituting Hermione's suggested course changes, they brainstormed a variety of other ideas, but they'd also conversed on a plethora of other subjects and Hermione founder herself falling into an easy friendship with the headmaster. Truthfully, she longed for more than friendship with Severus, but wasn't sure he'd return her affections. Although Harry had shared with her some of their conversations from their visits together, Hermione wasn't sure Severus had overcome his love for Lily Potter. She wanted to believe, however, that he might find room in his heart for both Lily and herself, and this hope did nothing to quell her growing affection for the man.

As they approached the Halloween feast, Hermione had been gathering the courage to invite Severus to dinner in Hogsmeade the evening following the feast. The students would be going on their first Hogsmead visit of the term the weekend prior, so she knew they'd have an opportunity to go on a date without being seen by nosy students or other staff who may be wandering around the village under the guise of keeping the students in line. She'd been poised to bring up the topic one morning, but was derailed suddenly when she walked into the Great Hall and was immediately nauseated at the smell of the breakfast that had been prepared for that day. Chalking it up one of the many viruses affecting the students throughout the course of the term so far, she excused herself and retreated to her chambers to take a nausea potion and finish her marking for the day. She'd postponed her weekly chess match with Severus until the following day and spent the evening in her chambers in attempt to rest and fight off whatever was plaguing her.

She awoke the next morning with a renewed determination, only to be met with another bout of nausea during lunch. Noticing her discomfort, Severus had escorted her to the hospital wing himself before leaving to allow the young witch some privacy while Madam Pomfrey checked her over. After mere minutes Madam Pomfrey shared with her the news that would change her life forever.

"There's nothing wrong with you Miss Granger, at least nothing that won't be resolved in a few months. It seems you're pregnant my dear!" exclaimed the older witch lovingly. "I suppose congratulations are..." she faded off, noticing the color draining from Hermione's face. "Oh dear...I assume this wasn't planned then?" she asked Hermione. Hermione shook her head as she lowered her eyes to her hands, folded in her lap and wracked her brain, attempting to piece together how this had happened to her. "Well then my dear, here is the potion you will need to ensure a healthy pregnancy; you'll need to take it weekly to ensure things progress optimally, and it should ease your morning sickness." She placed a light blue bottle on the exam table next to Hermione containing the potion as she continued. "This," she said holding up a muddy brown potion for Hermione's inspection, "will end things should you decide you don't want to go through with it." Hermione was amazed at her composure and lack of judgement as she spoke, but couldn't put her gratitude into words as she continued look at her hands, silent tears falling down her cheeks.

Madam Pomfrey quietly excused herself as Hermione remained in the hospital wing for several minutes gathering her composure. She'd riddled out when it had happened: It could only have been during her one-night-stand with the handsome wizard she'd met during her going away party, and in her haste to pack and move herself to Hogwarts for the start of term she'd forgotten to take a contraceptive potion.

"I can't believe this is happening to me. How could I be so stupid?" she muttered as she slowly meandered back down to her chambers. Upon entering, she noticed a single rose from the greenhouse sitting on the small table next to armchair she'd arranged for reading near the fireplace. Wrapped around the stem was a sheet of parchment with a note from Severus.

_Hermione-I hope all is well and you're on the mend after visiting Poppy. Please rest this evening and we will reschedule our chess match for another evening. Perhaps you'd be amenable to a dinner in Hogsmeade with me when you're feeling well? Take care, Severus_

Hermione smiled morosely as she considered his missive. Of course she would love to go to dinner with Severus-she'd been working on plucking up the courage to ask him after all. With her news from Madam Pomfrey, she wasn't sure what she should do. She hadn't decided how she was going to move forward, but if she didn't terminate the pregnancy, she couldn't imagine Severus would want her knowing she had conceived a child with another man mere weeks before they'd started regularly spending time together. If she decided not to go through with it, however, she wouldn't have to tell him at all and she could just pretend the entire incident had never happened. Until she'd made her decision, she didn't want to distance herself from the captivating man with whom she'd come to enjoy spending her free time.

Turning over the piece of parchment, she responded as truthfully as she felt able given the circumstances.

_I'd love to! -Hermione_

* * *

A/N: Yes, it was mean to be obvious who Hermione met in the first chapter :). The question is, how long will it take them to figure things out!


	3. Indecision, Not Indifference

Hermione felt a strange sense of deja vu as she smoothed her hands over her dress and looked herself over in the mirror, although this ensemble was much more to her taste than the one she'd worn the last time she'd gone out. She turned to the side and held the fabric taunt over her stomach, trying to discern if there was any evidence that would hint at her condition. Of course there was nothing noticeable at this point; she was only 8 or 9 weeks along and based on the books she'd hastily purchased in Hogsmeade under her glamour after Madam Pomfrey had advised her of her condition, she still had at least a few more weeks before she would start showing. Even then it was likely she would be able to hide her condition under her teaching robes for a few weeks longer, but she would need to consider sharing the news within the next month or two if she decided not to take the potion and end the pregnancy.

Of course if she decided to terminate, the point would be moot. She could take the potion and carry on with her life as if nothing had happened. Except after a few days of considering that particular option, Hermione wasn't sure that was true. With the damage she had sustained from Dolohov's curse in the Department of Mysteries as a teenager combined with the torture she'd suffered at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange, her cycle hadn't been regular since the end of the war. She'd hadn't considered she might be pregnant because it was fairly common for her to go 2-3 months between cycles, and due to the irregularity she had been advised she might experience difficulties conceiving during a routine exam at St. Mungos, particularly if she decided to wait to have children later in life. Hermione hadn't been concerned by this prognosis at the time as she wasn't in a serious relationship at the time and hadn't been entirely convinced she'd ever want children.

Over the past few days as she'd considered her options, she was forced to confront the idea that this could be her only chance to have a baby, and if she decided later and when she was in a serious relationship or married that she wanted a baby, the opportunity may have passed her by. What she struggled to reconcile in her mind was how she would share with a potential suitor that her child was conceived with a man she didn't know, particularly if they weren't able to have their own children later. She'd never even asked his name, or she couldn't remember it with how intoxicated she had been that evening. She made her way to her sitting room and sat in the chair beside the fire, putting her head into her hands as she considered for what seemed like the millionth time in the last few days her predicament. She was so angry with herself for allowing this to happen. She was a smart woman, and yet here she was faced with an impossible decision because she'd made a terrible one in the heat of the moment with a man she'd just met.

She would be departing for Hogsmeade with Severus in a matter of minutes, and she was trying desperately trying to gather her thoughts before she flooed to his office for their departure. She cared about him more than she'd ever thought possible, and her heart clenched at her perceived dishonesty in not sharing this news with him. She couldn't imagine how he would react; well...that wasn't entirely true. If she decided to go through with the pregnancy, what kind of man would willingly sign up to raise another man's child, especially from infancy? Besides, what if one day Hermione was able to piece together the identity of the man she met at the club that night and he wanted a place in her and their child's life? Although her memory was fuzzy from the sheer number of drinks she consumed that evening, she remembered hitting things off with the mysterious man almost immediately. She wasn't so sure it would be a bad thing if he did want to be a part of their lives.

_Their lives. _It felt decisive, and although she hated to admit it to herself, Hermione had seemingly already made up her mind about how she would proceed. As much as the idea of taking the potion and putting this entire incident in the past appealed to Hermione, the more she considered it the more she felt it wasn't truly an option for her. She never had strong opinions on abortion: she knew there were a variety of women for whom it was the best choice depending on their situation, but now that she was faced with that decision herself, she couldn't bring herself to feel like it was the right choice for her.

She also realized, rather abruptly in the moment, that there was a third option she hadn't yet considered: adoption. There were a myriad of reasons many young couples were unable to have children of their own, and if she were to consider an open adoption with a wizarding couple, she might be able to have some contact with her child to avoid any regret she might feel while still pursing her career and any relationships without the complications a child would inevitably bring to her life. An added bonus would be that she wouldn't have to decide definitively on adoption as an option until she was much closer to giving birth, which would allow her more time to consider whether she wanted to attempt to navigate single motherhood or relinquish her parental rights.

Sighing, Hermione cast a tempus spell to check the time and realized she had nearly been late because she was so lost in thought. She knew she would have to tell Severus eventually about the pregnancy as at a certain point her condition would become rather obvious, but it wasn't something she was about to tell him without considering exactly how she wanted to broach the conversation. Grabbing a handful of floo powder, she vowed to simply enjoy her dinner with Severus and worry about finding a way (and the nerve) to tell him after she had the chance to see if the depth of his affections matched hers. Stepping determinedly into the floo, she spoke her destination and was on her way to Severus's office.

When she arrived, Severus was bent over his desk deep in thought. She stepped out of the floo and up to his desk and cleared her throat softly to get his attention. Looking up from his paperwork, his eyes soften as soon as he realized it was her. "Hermione," he started, "I'm sorry I must have lost track of the hour. Give me just a moment to finish reading this proposal and we can leave for Hogsmeade."

"Sure thing, Severus," Hermione replied. "Do you mind if I peruse your library while you wrap things up?"

"Of course! Please help yourself to anything of interest. I should be no more than 5 minutes," he responded gesturing to his expansive collection of books to the left of his desk that extended into the alcove attached to the main office. Although she'd been in his office many times before, he'd amassed such an immense collection of books both through his own studies as well as the titles he'd inherited from Dumbledore, Hermione hadn't yet had the time to look through them all.

She entered the alcove and glanced around at the tomes inside for a few minutes before one caught her eye, The Magical Child: A Handbook of Parenting and Child Development Across a Lifespan in Magical Children. She stood on tipetoe to reach it on the shelf above her and carefully pulled it down and inspected the inside cover. It appeared old, perhaps even as much as a century based on the appearance of the cover, and it hadn't been a title she'd noticed in print when she'd visited Tomes and Scolls earlier in the week. She looked at the table of contents and noted that there were several chapters on magical pregnancies and she made to flip to one of the indicated chapters when suddenly she heard Severus clear his throat behind her.

She spun around to meet his gaze as he raised an eyebrow imperiously at her as he spoke, "That's an interesting selection although much of the information contained therein is considered to be largely outdated. It's been out of print for at least 50 years; surely you'd be more interested in the more modern literature on the subject? Although why you'd be interested in child development at all I'm not entirely sure..."

Hermione panicked internally momentarily before improvising, "I realize it's outdated but I thought it might shed some light on some of the ideals upheld by purebloods that might inform how we continue to develop our curriculum initiative?" She held her breath as she waited to see if Severus would catch on to her lie, but he appeared to consider her statement thoroughly before he responded.

"You may be right, Hermione. I hadn't thought of reviewing the old traditions that may have been passed down through the generations despite many of them going out of vogue decades ago. Good thinking!" he exclaimed as he carried the book over to his desk and set it on the stack of research they'd been compiling as they worked on developing the coursework for the new syllabus. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, but then realized she'd need to find an excuse to ask him to take the book if she wanted to read the chapters on magical pregnancies; it wasn't likely the pair would review the information contained in that part of the book during their regular meetings about developing the class.

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she turned her attention back to Severus. "Are you ready to leave then, Severus? Were you able to finish the proposal you were reviewing?"

"Yes I was able to wrap things up." he responded. "I can apparate us both down to The Three Broomsticks if you take my arm?"

"Actually," said Hermione, "would you mind terribly if we walked instead? It's such a nice evening and the stroll would give us more time to talk?" Knowing apparition was considered risky during pregnancy, she had prepared an excuse to walk in advance of her arrival in Severus' office that evening. She was relieved when he smiled back at her and moved to hold the door to his office open for her to begin their descent to Hogsmeade.

* * *

Later that evening, after they'd returned from their dinner, Severus paced his office reflecting on the evening with Hermione. He'd had a wonderful time with her and had been thankful she'd suggested walking to the village rather than apparating as it had given them more time to spend together and talk. He hadn't conversed with anyone this easily since he and Lily were children together, but he was careful to leave the comparisons to his childhood love there. While he had considered Hermione a friend for weeks now, he had hoped to suss out during their dinner this evening whether it made sense to pursue anything beyond friendship with the young woman.

Having returned to his chambers feeling almost desperate to spend more time with her as soon as possible, it seemed the answer was a resounding yes. He felt more at ease with Hermione than he had with anyone, at least in recent memory, and he felt himself opening up to her the more time they spent together. He was also finally acknowledging his attraction to her as he felt his mind wandering more than once throughout the evening, wondering would it would be like to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately before taking her back to his quarters and have his wicked way with her. He shook his head to clear his thoughts-as much as he wanted the woman, he knew if he wanted a meaningful relationship with her, he wanted to take his time and ensure she was on the same page before initiating anything physically.

He had noticed, however, there were times throughout the evening where Hermione had seemed a bit, off. Maybe distracted was a better word for it. She seemed to be feeling better after he illness earlier in the week, but there were a few moments that evening where she had seemed to be lost in thought. Once she seemed to be debated telling him something, but then appeared to have thought better of it and changed the subject altogether. He wondered if she had been about to tell him how she felt about him, or perhaps maybe how she _didn't _feel about him. Perhaps Severus was getting ahead of himself and assuming too soon that she shared his feelings about their relationship. She was difficult to read, and Severus was forced to acknowledge that he may need to ask her outright whether she had any interest in progressing their relationship beyond that of friendship.

He considered this as he entered his personal quarters and readied himself for bed. Perhaps he would invite her to dinner in his quarters later this week with the intention of discussing that very topic with her. He wanted to approach it carefully since he hoped he would at least retain her friendship, even if she didn't wish for a romantic relationship with him. As he got into bed, he took some parchment and a quill from the drawer in his bedside table and used the book he'd brought to read as he drifted off to sleep as a writing surface and penned a note to the younger witch.

_Hermione, I thoroughly enjoyed our time together this evening and must admit I'm already looking forward to the next opportunity to spend time together. Would you join me for dinner in my quarters on Wednesday evening? -SS_

"Winky?" Severus called as he rolled up the parchment and tied it with a piece of sting. Winky appeared at the foot of his bed and looked inquisitively back at the headmaster. He'd formed a bond with her during his years in the position and knew he could always rely on her to carry out his wishes, even if in the middle of the night.

"Yessy, Mister Headmaster, sir?" she questioned as she approached the side of the bed where he sat.

"Winky, would you please take this to Professor Granger? If she's still awake, please deliver it to her tonight and wait for a reply. If not, please deliver it to her in the morning before breakfast and advise I will await her response in the Great Hall," he said, handing her the rolled missive.

"Yessir Mister Headmaster. Winky is doing it right away sir!" she exclaimed as she disappeared with a pop.

Severus read his book and waited for about 10 minutes before he decided Hermione had likely turned in for the evening, and he turned out the light and laid down to sleep. As he drifted off, he hoped she would accept his invitation, both to dinner and to explore their budding relationship.

* * *

A/N: I'm sure there are a lot of mixed thoughts about Hermione deciding to keep a baby from a one-night-stand pregnancy. I went back-and-forth on what her decision would be and tried to put a lot of that indecision into her inner monologue at the start of the chapter. I think given Hermione's personality, she would struggle a lot with indecision as she would be worried about possible regrets with either option-she may potentially sacrifice a future career and relationships to keep a baby, and she might sacrifice the opportunity to be a mother if she terminates. I think Hermione would struggle more with the latter option, particularly with where she is in her career at this point in this story-she would have already met many of her career goals through her mastery and her appointment to professor, and she would worry more about missing out on the experience of motherhood than being in a relationship.

I've struggled with the decision in a much different context, and even if the timing doesn't feel right or something else is holding you back from having kids, there's usually the questions of whether the decision will be a regret later in life. It was a decision I put off for a long time and I ended up getting very sick and very likely having the decision taken from me altogether-now I go back and wonder how life might be different if I'd made a different decision early in my marriage. It's not the same as Hermione's choice here because she isn't in a serious relationship let alone married, but having already been through the trauma of a war, I think it would be very hard for her to disregard that fear of sacrificing this experience altogether if she decided to not go through with it now. What do you think? Do you think Hermione would struggle with this as much as I think she would?

Also thanks to everyone so far who has read and favorited/followed/reviewed this story! It's great motivation to get thoughts down on paper sooner rather than later. I have a general idea for where this story is going, but this is the first time I haven't outlined the whole story entirely before starting, so I'm not sure how long it will be yet, but my best guess would be 15-20 ish chapters. Constructive feedback is always appreciated!


	4. Sharing the News

Hermione awoke early the next morning completely knackered after a fitful sleep. She had gone to bed almost immediately upon arriving home the night before after a wonderful dinner with Severus, but each time she managed to fall asleep, she'd awake in the midst of a terrible dream where she'd told Severus in a variety of ways about her predicament. In each dream scenario he'd had a multitude of negative reactions, each one more upsetting than the last. Clearly the idea of telling him was weighing on her mind, and as she braided her hair and readied herself for the day, she resolved to tell him the next time she was alone with him.

Rising from her bed and putting on her slippers, she considered the ways she might approach the conversation, knowing he was likely to react poorly regardless of her strategy. As she approached her kitchenette in her living quarters to make a cup of tea, a sharp pop distracted her from her thoughts as Winky appeared with a note from Severus, requesting she join him for dinner later in the week. Her heart clenched in excitement and dread simultaneously as she longed to spend more time with the reclusive man but also knew if she was true to her word, the proposed dinner would be when she shared the news that would likely end any relationship she'd started to develop with the Headmaster.

"Missy Hermione?" Winky asked, startling Hermione as she hadn't realized Winky was still present. "Mister Headmaster Sir is requesting your response at breakfast this morning."

"Thank you, Winky," said Hermione dismissing her before crossing to her floo, throwing a fistful of powder in the flames and calling "Potter residence!" as she stuck her head in the flames. She called for Ginny a few times before she appeared before her, baby James balanced carefully on her hip.

"Good Morning, Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed as she approached the fireplace in the Potter home. "I hadn't expected you to call so early after your date with Severus last night!" she smirked with a wink toward her friend.

"Oh hush, Ginny. It wasn't a date and you and I both know it. Do you have a few minutes? I have something important I need to tell you..." she trailed off as she considered how Ginny and her other friends were going to react to the news. She knew they would always love her, but imagined their judgment as she shared she was pregnant and had absolutely no clues to the identity of the father.

"Sure! I was about to feed James, so we can talk while he's eating. Come on through!" She backed away from the flames as Hermione stepped through, still in her pajamas and slippers as Ginny raised an eyebrow in surprise. She knew whatever was going on with Hermione must be important as she had never known the witch to go anywhere without dressing for the day.

The two friends sat at the kitchen table, feeding James spoonfuls of a creamy substance resembling oatmeal without the usual sticky texture as Hermione took a deep breath and began, "Ginny? Do you remember the night before I left for Hogwarts?"

"Of course I do! That was the only time in months Harry and I have been away from this little cutie!" she said as she made faces at baby James, trying to get him to take a bite of the substance on the spoon in front of him. "Don't tell me, you found out who he was?!"

"No...of course not. I wouldn't have any way of finding out, would I? He never even knew who I was that night, although in hindsight I wish one of us had revealed our true identities. It's especially important now that..."

"Don't tell me you're reconsidering your affection for Severus because of a man you slept with once on a lark?!" Ginny interjected. "Don't get me wrong, the guy was tall, dark, and delicious but so is Severus in his own way and I can't believe you would throw a potential relationship with a man you know for one you don't..."

"Ginny I'm pregnant!" Hermione blurted out, unable to take any more of Ginny's rant about her feelings for Severus.

Three things happened at once: Ginny gasped, spinning in her chair suddenly and dropping her spoon onto the tray of James's highchair as she gaped at Hermione wordlessly, Harry (who had moments before returned from a night raid with the aurors and walked in just in time to hear Hermione's announcement) made his presence known as he dropped the stack of files he was carrying in shock, and Hermione burst into tears. Admitting it out loud suddenly made her situation seem so much more real than it had up to this point, and if her friends shocked faces were anything to go off of, she knew this revelation would be much more poorly received by Severus.

As Hermione's head dropped into her hands, Ginny immediately knelt in front of her and gently rubbed Hermione's knees in a comforting gesture as she quickly looked to Harry and mouthed wordlessly that he similarly needed to comfort their friend. Harry stood stunned momentarily before he crossed the room, took Hermione's hands in his just before wrapping her in a hug, all of which made Hermione sob even harder. Allowing her a few minutes to regain her composure, Ginny finally asked, "Do you have a plan? Can we do anything to help?"

Sniffling as she attempted to calm her breathing, Hermione replied, "All I've figured out so far is that I want to have the baby. Madame Pomfrey said there was still time to terminate, but knowing this may be my only chance at motherhood, I'm not ready to make that decision. I want a few more months to decide whether I can even be a good mother and if I don't think I can do it, there's still time for me to give the child up for adoption..."

"Of course you'll be a good mother, Hermione." said Harry, finally breaking his silence. "You've never approached anything in life without doing thorough research and ensure you're prepared for every possibility...over-prepared some might say..." he said chuckling as he finally got a small laugh out of Hermione. "We will support you with whatever you decide, but know that Ginny and I would be so excited to have a little niece or nephew and James I'm sure would love to have a little cousin."

Hermione smiled tentatively at the reaction of her two closest friends. She was grateful for their words of encouragement and delighted that they'd remained close enough over the years that their children would look at each other as family despite the lack of blood connection.

"Hermione..." Ginny started, "Have you told Severus about any of this yet?"

"No. That's why I came over. I know I need to tell him before it becomes rather obvious or he finds out some other way. I can't imagine that he'd still want to pursue even friendship with me knowing I'm carrying another man's child...one I don't even know for that matter. Truthfully, I'm devastated. He's the first man in a long time I've even wanted a relationship with, and now I feel like I'm about to break his heart again." Hermione looked down at her hands which she was wringing anxiously in her lap. She truly felt awful that she would have to put Severus through such emotional turmoil.

"I wouldn't be so sure." said Harry, thoughtfully. "I mean, he's likely to be upset, but you know how loyal Severus can be, and once he's over the initial shock, he might not react so severely...at least not the way you think and especially not if he knows the father is out of the picture."

"What man would willingly sign up to raise another man's child?!" Hermione exclaimed. "Who would want a woman so careless as to fall pregnant with a man she couldn't even name?!"

"Hermione, think about everything Severus went through simply because he loved my mother. She never even returned those feelings and he put himself through hell to protect me. Raising another man's child as his own pales in comparison to everything he went through in the war!"

"Yes, but he would never feel the same way about me as he did about your mother! Everything he went through for her shows the depth of his affection for her and I don't think he'd ever let that go! How could he love two women enough simultaneously to willingly submit himself to this ridiculous situation. He deserves so much better than me. He deserves someone without this kind of baggage after everything he's been through; he deserves a woman who can give him a child that is of his blood if that's what he wants. Even if he still wanted me after all of this, there's no guarantee I could ever give him that! Statistically, this shouldn't have even happened in the first place!"

Ginny, realizing her friend needed a woman's perspective here, interjected, "Hermione you'll never know until you tell him. You have so much to offer the world, and yes this may have been unplanned, but don't assume you know how he'll react. Just explain the situation, answer any of his questions, and give him the chance to decide how he feels. You know the old adage about assuming?" Ginny said, attempting to break the tension in the conversation.

Hermione responded with a weak smile, knowing that ultimately Ginny was right. She was reluctant to hope this situation would work out in her favor-she feared her own heartbreak should Severus react the way she was anxious he would, but acknowledged it wasn't fair to preemptively assume what his opinion would be. She'd just rip off the bandaid when they had dinner on Wednesday and hope for the best. Thanking her friends for their support and kissing baby Jamie goodbye, Hermione went back to her rooms to prepare for the day. As she exited her rooms to grab a bite at the end of breakfast in the Great Hall, she bent to give Crookshanks a parting scratch behind the ears as she said more to herself than to him, "Oh Crookshanks, how am I going to tell Severus?"

"Tell me what?"

Hermione blanched as she stood and came face to face with the man of her musings.

* * *

A/N: I've been remiss in not updating as often as I'd prefer, but the last few weeks have been a bit chaotic! With the craziness caused by the Coronavirus and me being a higher risk individual as a cancer survivor, I've been getting my home office set up to be able to work efficiently from home on a more long-term basis. Now that I'm up and running, I should be able to update more frequently! My plan is to update at least once a week from here on out!

Also, I know this is a giant cliffy, but I promise I won't make you wait as long this time between chapters. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy as current events unfold. Just use this as an excuse to stay in and read more fanfiction!

Also I love the idea that Harry and Ginny would be so supportive here-I know if I were ever in this scenario, I would probably get mixed reactions from my friend group, but I know I could count on at least a few of my very closest friends to be so supportive and loving regardless of the situation. I'm not sure Ron will be so understanding when he finds out...we'll have to wait a little while for his reaction though!


	5. Revealing the Truth

"Tell me what?"

Hermione blanched as she stood and came face to face with the man of her musings. Quickly gathering her thoughts and composing herself, Hermione considered whether she should still wait until their dinner on Wednesday to share the news of her pregnancy with him as intended. Realizing she hadn't yet accepted his invitation, she decided she may as well use that discussion as an opportunity to gauge whether he would even still be interested in dinner after he was fully apprised of the situation. She already felt a tremendous sense of guilt for hiding her news from him when they'd gone out the previous evening. Even though neither of them officially called the outing a date, it felt to her as though that was his intention and didn't want to lead him on if this pregnancy was a deal-breaker.

Deciding it would be best to rip off the band-aid, Hermione opened the door to her chambers to invite him inside when it suddenly struck her that she hadn't planned on meeting him that morning and honestly wasn't entirely sure why he'd shown up at her door.

Blushing as she became a bit flustered she uttered, "Hello, Severus. I wasn't expecting to see you this morning. Have I forgotten about a meeting we had planned."

"No, Hermione," he replied looking sheepish at her questioning as he continued, "I just hadn't seen you at breakfast this morning and I found myself rather impatient to find out whether you wanted to accept my invitation to dinner on Wednesday. I'm sorry to have bothered you and caught you off guard."

"You're not a bother..." Hermione started, "but Severus, I'm afraid I have some explaining to do, and this isn't a conversation I want to have openly in the hallways. Won't you come in and have a cup of tea with me? We can order some pastries from the kitchen since I haven't had a chance to eat yet." Stepping back into her chambers, she held the door to her rooms open wide and gestured gracefully for Severus to join her on the other side.

Severus cautiously stepped over the threshold as he frantically attempted to puzzle out what she might say to him. _Maybe she isn't keen to have dinner with me after all. Have I done something to offend her? Did our encounter last night go less ideally than I remember? Perhaps she is only seeking friendship after all. How could I be such so imbecilic to believe she might actually want a relationship with me. Great work, Severus...you've once again set your sights on a witch that will never return your affections. _

He was drawn from his inner dialogue as Hermione set down the tea and pastries on a little table she conjured between her two cozy chairs near the fireplace, and upon seeing his puzzled and somewhat frustrated expression, decided she'd better explain before the situation worsened. "Severus I'm sorry I didn't reply to your note this morning. You see, I'd love to have dinner with you on Wednesday, but after I share what I need to tell you, I'm not certain you'd still want to extend the invitation."

Even more puzzled, Severus picked up the cup of tea she'd been preparing for him and mindlessly sipped as he considered what she would possibly have to tell him that would change the nature of his feelings for her. He stirred the beverage mindlessly as Hermione continued, "I have news that I'm sure will be a complete shock to you, and it will probably be very upsetting all things considered, but no matter how angry you are, I ask that you please let me finish what I have to say before you react or respond."

Severus nodded in agreement, still befuddled as to what Hermione could have to tell him that would require such a preamble. He watched her pace nervously for a moment before she took a breath and spoke again. "Before reporting to Hogwarts at the end of the summer, my friends held a celebratory party in my honor. I had entirely too much to drink that night, and I met someone and one thing led to another..."

Severus smirked momentarily at her distress before remembering her request at the outset of this story. If she was worried about a one night stand that had happened months ago would make him flee, she was completely mistaken. After all, he had engaged in a brief dalliance of his own prior to term; who was he to judge her for doing the same. If she was so worked up though, did this encounter mean more to her than he realized? Would she rather pursue a relationship with that man instead of himself?

"I won't lie and tell you it meant nothing...I felt quite a strong connection with the man I met that night, but unfortunately certain...circumstances made it impossible to even learn who he was let alone pursue any further relationship with him. I never imagined that I'd come to Hogwarts and find there was a relationship I wanted to pursue more within these walls." She looked up at him with misty eyes and blushed, and Severus realized she shared his feelings for her. Noticing she had started crying, he rose from his chair and came to kneel beside her, grasping her hands in his.

"Hermione I would never blame you for a previous relationship, encounter, whatever it is you want to call what you experienced with someone before you and I discovered what appears to be mutual affection for one another. Surely you realize I would never fault you for..."

"That isn't all Severus..." Hermione whispered, looking down at their joined hands with tears falling freely down her cheeks. "I'm pregnant..." she said so quietly, he wasn't even sure he'd heard her at first. Realizing he hadn't imagined what she'd said, Severus sat back on his heels and removed one hand from her grasp an ran a hand through his hair as he exhaled in complete shock, yet he didn't withdraw from her entirely. He felt adrift on a sea of emotions and thoughts running uncontrolled through his mind. He'd long since stopped occluding regularly as he had during the end of the war, and now longed for the days he could pull his shields into place at a moment's notice and order his thoughts. Alas, he was out of practice and struggled to make sense of what he was hearing and find the words to respond.

After several minutes of silence punctuated by the occasional sniff from Hermione, he spoke. "Are you going to go through with it?" he asked, not really sure what answer he wanted to hear. On the one hand, nothing in his wildest imaginings could have prepared him for the unbridled questions he'd have concerning his future, _their _future, should she decide to keep the baby. On the other hand, he'd seen so much death throughout the course of two wars, he couldn't bring himself to desire she terminate, even knowing how much easier it would be for the pair of them if she did. Of course it was her decision to make, and he would respect her choice, but regardless he knew their lives were irrevocably changed.

"Yes." she said softly before continuing, "After I sustained so much spell damage due to my exposure to a prolonged cruciatus curse at Bellatrix's hand, I was told I may not ever be able to have children. I can't bring myself to abort knowing I may never have another chance to be a mother." She breathed deeply calming herself before continuing, "I don't know who the father is, nor do I have a way of finding out. Even if I did I'm not sure I would want to. I understand if this changes everything between us, Severus, but I want you to know that my feelings for you are the one constant in all of this. I've been steadily falling for you since I returned to the school and have gotten to know you outside the context of a war which put impossible demands on you. I completely understand if this changes your regard for me, and I would never resent it if you walked away and never looked back now, but I would forever wonder what could have been if you never knew how I feel for you."

Severus rose, pinching the bridge of his nose as he crossed to the fireplace, leaning against the mantle and considering the whole situation. He was simultaneously thrilled that she returned his feelings and with equal fervor, but devastated to know that not only was she carrying another man's child but that if things moved forward between them, they may never be able to have children of their own. Not that he'd ever expected to be a father, but if he were to consider the potential to fulfill that role in the life of this child, could he accept he may never share that bond with one of his own blood? Did he even want that sort of relationship with this child?

He sighed, turning back to Hermione and resuming his position across the table from her, raking a hand through his hair once more. "Hermione, I'm completely at a loss for how to respond right now. I care for you, deeply, but I'm having difficulty processing how we move forward given everything...I need time to...try to wrap my mind around this." He rose from his seat crossing slowly toward the door of her chambers and opened it as he asked, "Please forgive me?" He turned back only momentarily to see her nod once in affirmation, tears streaming down her face once more.

* * *

Monday and Tuesday passed without any additional word from Severus, and while she maintained a professional and controlled demeanor in front of the staff and her students, Hermione was internally distraught. Although she'd assumed his reaction wouldn't be positive, she'd been sure he would have immediately ended any budding romance between them, thus allowing Hermione to start moving on with her life. The indecision, especially considering how reasonable his response to her entire story had been, gave her hope that they might still have a chance to be together, and that hope coupled with Severus's silence had been nearly unbearable.

She'd chatted with Harry and Ginny again on Tuesday evening, who tried to reassure her that his reaction was more encouraging than not, and if there was no hope for the two of them, he would have ended it outright after she told him. Although rejuvenated after spending a few hours with her friends and receiving lots of cuddles from baby Jamie, Hermione returned to Hogwarts and the feelings of isolation she'd been battling. Finding the silence of her rooms deafening, she decided to take a walk down to Hagrid's before bed. Aside from Severus, he was the only member of the staff with whom she was particularly friendly, and she had a feeling a cup of tea with him would do wonders to help her loneliness.

As she traversed the distance from the castle to Hagrid's hut, she considered what life might be like for her at the school if Severus decided to walk away from their budding relationship. Although she would still have a friend in Hagrid and could work on strengthening her rapport with the other professors, she wasn't sure how she would raise a child at Hogwarts with little help. She was sure she could figure it out, but she'd never seen a professor with children at the school during her time either as a student or a teacher. Did the school even have a history of any younger children residing within its boundaries? Perhaps she should consider renting something in Hogsmeade or seeking guidance from her friends with children on various childcare options. Her thoughts paused momentarily as she reached Hagrid's door, knocked, and received no response in return.

Knocking again as she tried to open the door, she realized it was locked and there was no sign either he or Fang were present. Remembering he was likely to be in the Forbidden Forest with Grawp, she penned a brief note with a spare bit of parchment and muggle pen she happened to have in her pocket for just such an occasion, and started to walk back up to the castle. As she walked she tried to think more optimistically and envision what life could look like if Severus didn't walk away from the situation. She pictured the two of them together, holding either hand of a little boy and swinging him between them as they walked around the lake. She pictured them playing on the floor of his office with a little girl with wild curls while they discussed the events of the day.

She smiled happily to herself, allowing for a moment Harry and Ginny's encouragement to seep in and overwhelm her with fleeting happiness. Lost in thought as she climbed one of the many moving staircases back to her quarters, she failed to notice the handrail pull away from the wall as the staircase started to shift. Unprepared for the sudden shift as the stairwell re-positioned, Hermione lost her footing on the fifth step and fell, hitting her head on her descent. The last thing she remembered before her world went black was the hazy swirl of robes and someone frantically calling her name as they approached her otherwise lifeless body.

* * *

A/N: I know...I'm terrible...another cliffy for you all! But I've already started editing the next chapter so I should be able to post it in a few days.

How is everyone holding up? Personally I'm having trouble believing I'm not in the plot of a dystopian novel at the moment. Here's hoping you and your loved ones all remain healthy! I live in Ohio which isn't the epicenter for the spread of the virus in the US, but has been leading the "full court press" as our state leaders put it earlier today in an attempt to contain the virus by closing and cancelling basically everything before others in the country have followed suit. So I'll reiterate what I said in my last chapter: STAY HOME AND READ FANFICTION! That's my plan for the foreseeable future (along with working on writing/editing this story and playing Call of Duty to blow off steam lol). How are things where you are?

As always, I love feedback so please keep the reviews/follows/favorites/advice coming!


	6. The Aftermath

After leaving Hermione's chambers upon hearing the news of her pregnancy, Severus returned to his office in a haze. He stumbled through the rest of his day including mounds of paperwork and a few student disciplinary issues without recalling much of the particulars. By the time he readied himself for bed, he was exhausted and realized he'd made zero progress toward working through his emotions about his situation with Hermione. Deciding this would be better handled on a full night's rest, he took a Dreamless Sleep potion and drifted off after resolving to consider the situation in the morning.

When morning came, Severus was faced with an entire day's worth of issues including replying to owls from parents regarding curriculum changes, more disciplinary matters, and a request from Poppy to brew some additional sock for the hospital wing as Horace Slughorn couldn't keep up with the demand as he aged and approached retirement. Luckily the brewing could be accomplished as if Severus were on autopilot, and by Tuesday afternoon, he was absorbed in his thoughts about the situation as he worked through the list of requests Poppy had supplied.

Examining his emotional regard for the younger witch, Severus knew his affections for Hermione had not waned in light of her news. He found himself considering his more reclusive tendencies should he decide to walk away from the relationship they'd been developing. He knew it would be miserable, but as he tried to picture what their life would be like if he continued the relationship, he struggled spectacularly. Recalling his own tumultuous home-life as a child, Severus wasn't even sure he knew how to be a father as he'd had little positive examples of fatherly influence in his own life. Even if he wanted to be a parent to Hermione's child, could he? Would she look for certain assurances from him to allow his influence in her child's life-marriage perhaps?

Severus wasn't opposed to the idea of marrying and bonding with Hermione one day should they both desire that particular societal label of permanence at some point in the future. Would he feel that strongly for her in the months leading up to the birth of her child? Would Hermione even desire marriage to someone who was arguably a pariah in some circles of wizarding society? How would his position and reputation affect the life of her child who would likely form some sort of attachment to Severus only to have whatever positive relationship they formed dashed as soon as he or she entered school and they were confronted with what the other students said about the dour headmaster?

Severus finished bottling the potions as afternoon turn to twilight while he tumbled further into the rabbit-hold of indecision. He placed the carefully in one of the wooden crates with his storeroom and started along the path to the hospital wing. As he walked, he caught sight of the subject of his thoughts reentering the castle after what seemed to be an evening walk. Pausing for a moment to watch her, his heart clenched at the idea of letting her go because of his own insecurities. Deciding to invite her to deliver the potions to the hospital wing and return to his chambers to talk, he started down the staircases in her direction when suddenly, the staircase Hermione was standing on started to change. As if everything was happening in slow motion, he watched in horror as the she lost her footing and tumbled down four or five steps to the bottom of the staircase. Quickly setting down the crate of potions and racing as quickly as he could navigate the remaining stairways to arrive at her side, he blanched when he realized she must have hit her head as blood slowly pooled on the floor underneath her limp body.

"Hermione!" he called as he raced to her side and quickly realized she'd lost consciousness. Casting a quick diagnostic, he determined she'd not broken any bones and would suffer no further injury upon being moved, so he scooped her into his arms and took off at a run through the halls on a path directly to the hospital wing. Staircases shifted in their favor before him, and faster than he would of believed possible he was barging through the doors of the hospital wing, yelling frantically to Poppy as he laid Hermione down gently on the nearest bed.

Emerging from her office, Poppy replied, "Severus? Have you finished those potions? I could really use...goodness what on earth happened to Miss Granger?!" she asked urgently, suddenly realizing the reason for Severus's tone after laying eyes on the lifeless witch.

"She fell. I would guess about four or five, maybe even six steps from where I saw it happen. What do you need?" he asked as he looked at Poppy imploringly as he tried to focus on doing something constructive to help rather than his fragile state of emotion.

"Apply pressure to the wound on her head." Poppy handing him a sterile cloth for the task while she waved her wand repeatedly over Hermione casting a variety of diagnostics to determine the status of both the witch and her unborn child. After a few moments, she hurried back to her office and returned with a vial of dittany which she applied liberally to the wound on Hermione's head before casting additional diagnostics.

After the gash had been healed, Severus took to stroking Hermione's hair and face lovingly as he watched Poppy work, as her incantations and diagnosics slowed, Severus asked, "Will she be alright? What about the baby?"

Poppy suddenly looked at him wide-eyed, "Is the child...?"

"No, it isn't mine." he replied, shaking his head. Imploring her once more he repeated, "Will they be alright?"

The look Severus was giving Poppy was one she hadn't seen since he was a boy and he'd been brought to the hospital wing after his encounter with the Marauders which ended his friendship with Lily Potter. Knowing he must care deeply for the woman, Poppy spoke as gently as she could to reassure the normally composed man. "The baby is fine, Severus. Hermione has a concussion and may have sustained other brain injuries from the fall. I've done all I can for the moment. We'll need to wait until she wakes to know what else needs to be done."

"May I wait here until she does?" the Headmaster asked his mediwitch.

About to request that he get some sleep and returned to the morning, Poppy suddenly noticed his eyes had grown misty and quickly reconsidered. Transfiguring the neighboring bed to a more comfortable chair to accommodate a longer visit, she gestured for Severus to sit and he moved swiftly to his appointed post and gently grasped Hermione's hand as Poppy returned to her office once more. "Make sure you call me when she wakes, Severus." she added quickly before shutting the door gently to allow them their privacy.

As he quietly sat beside Hermione, he realized it didn't matter that he didn't know how their lives would turn out now that she was having a baby. He knew now what he felt for the young woman was more than just affection, it was love, and he would give them any chance to work through this temporary hiccup in his plans and make both Hermione and her child a part of his life.

Having settled some of his rampant misgivings about the situation at hand, Severus eventually dozed off. Although he normally took a dreamless sleep to prevent recurring nightmares of his years during the war, his dreams turned out to be pleasant on this occasion as the wound their way through the possibilities of a life with Hermione and the future they might share together.

* * *

Hermione was roused by light radiating through the windows and reaching her eyelids, gently waking the witch. Carefully opening her eyes, she was struck by how sore she felt before finally realizing she was in the hospital wing. She considered the last events she could remember, and was puzzled to find she couldn't remember how she'd arrived in this state. Turning her head slightly to inspect her surroundings, she noticed the man who had apparently spent the night at her bedside and was immediately confused. Why would he of all people be the one sitting vigil and waiting for her to wake? Clearing her throat gently had the desired effect and she watched as he slowly opened his eyes and met her gaze.

"Hermione! Thank goodness you're awake." he uttered breathing a sigh of relief which further confused her. "How are you feeling?"

"A bit stiff and in some pain to be honest, sir." she murmured as he stiffened at her return to using his formal title. Was she that hurt by his reaction only days prior? "Professor, do you know what happened, was their an accident in your Defense class?"

Realizing something was amiss, Severus called for Poppy before responding, "Hermione, you haven't been in a Defense classroom in many years. Do you not remember how you came to be in this position?" he asked as Poppy approached the bedside.

"I"m afraid not." replied Hermione as Severus and Poppy shared a worried glance. "I assumed it must have happened in Defense since you remained with me until I woke. If it didn't happen in class, why are you here? Where are Harry and Ron?" she asked worriedly as she rose to a sitting position and glanced around the room once more.

Poppy quickly performed diagnostic spells before replying, "Miss Granger it seems you are suffering some amnesia from your fall. This may be difficult to hear my dear, but you haven't been a student at this school in quite some time. You have been the charms professor for approximately the last 3 months. Does any of this sound familiar?"

Hermione shook her head as tears leaked from her eyes. "Is this permanent?" she asked softly as she tried to concentrate on Poppy's response rather than the strange pained expression on the face of her Professor.

"I can't say for sure, but most cases of amnesia resolve themselves if you take the potions I provide you as directed and rest until your brain injury has healed. I'd like to keep you for another day to monitor your condition, but then you may return to your quarters. Severus would you be willing to stop by tomorrow to show Hermione back to her rooms?"

Severus's expression was suddenly masked as he replied, "Certainly. Please excuse me." he said as he hastily retreated from the room, slamming the doors to the hospital wing in his wake. Returning to his office, he ensured he was entirely alone before picking up one of the instruments left behind by Dumbledore and hurling it at the nearest wall as he roared in anger and despair.

* * *

A/N: I promised another chapter this week so here you go! I may be able to finish editing the next tomorrow depending on how much time I have to spend on the phone for work, but I'll definitely try to post something early next week at the latest! How's everyone holding up during the craziness going on in the world right now?

I'm already going stir-crazy but I love that a lot of authors are trying to put out more writing as we're all trying to adjust to the "new normal" for the time being. Here's hoping this finds you safe and healthy and that you can find some positives in this experience as I've been trying to do the last few days.

What did you all think of the chapter? I love reading your reviews so please keep them coming!


	7. Hope for the Future

A/N: I know I usually give you all an update at the end of the story, but I wanted to take a moment to address the latest twist in the story as far as feedback is concerned that it might be too much. Normally I wouldn't worry about addressing something like this because I think it's the nature of any story that some people will enjoy it and others will prefer the plot moved in a different direction-and that's ok! I only wanted to pause to mention that I have a very specific reason for choosing this particular direction, and I will share more about that decision in another note once we reach the point in the story where I can make that clear without spoiling the direction of the plot.

If you are someone who feels strongly about what transpired in the last chapter, I'd like to request that you stick around and see how it all unfolds and see if you still feel the same way about it once we get a few more chapters in (and if you're still not a fan, I totally get it and that's ok too!-as authors, we can't please 100% of people 100% of the time). I know I'm often guilty of thinking I know where a story is headed and feel prematurely frustrated or hesitant to continue only to be pleasantly surprised once the rest of the plot unfolds-I hope you'll allow me the same chance :)

I hope everyone continues to stay safe and healthy as more and more places around the world enter periods of more restrictive social distancing. As many have been saying throughout these tough times, we're all in this together, and I'll add my own 2 cents and say the only way out, is through! It might get worse before it gets better, but with every passing day we are getting closer to this all being over. Happy reading!

* * *

Hermione woke the next morning feeling exhausted despite sleeping through the night courtesy of the dreamless sleeping potion Madam Pomfrey had delivered to her bedside before retreating to her quarters adjacent to the hospital wing. Although the mediwitch had reassured her memory loss due to physical trauma unrelated to another spell or curse was extraordinarily rare in the wizard community, Hermione found her situation extremely troubling and was unsettled by the idea that many years of her life had passed that were unable to be recalled.

After her professor had raced from the room, Hermione had questioned Madam Pomfrey about the odd behavior of her professor and had learned that they were known to be friendly with one another and were often seen together by the staff when she wasn't teaching classes and he wasn't occupied with the duties or running the school. Hermione wondered how they'd become friends and whether that fully described the true nature of their relationship. Although he appeared to be much the same guarded man from her youth when she awoke to find him at her bedside, Hermione had noticed his inability to completely disguise his distress at her memory loss. She could barely imagine the caustic man having many friendly relationships let alone one that would lead to such a reaction, and she made a mental note to ask him directly when he came to escort her to back to her living quarters.

Madam Pomfrey had also shared with her another piece of distressing information the day prior: apparently Hermione was in her first trimester of pregnancy. To say she had been shocked was an understatement as she never envisioned starting a family until she had established her career and was likely in her 30s, not her early 20s. Of course her first question in response was to ask about the child's father, but it seemed that information wasn't something that had been shared with the mediwitch. Hermione internally wondered if she and her professor were romantically involved and the child was his. She added this to the list of questions rapidly accruing in her mind.

As she considered whether Professor Snape was likely different from the man she remembered, Madam Pomfrey emerged from her chambers and proceeded to perform more than a dozen diagnostic charms. "Well Hermione, the scans already show improvement in the damage sustained from your fall. I've sent Severus a list of potions you should be taking to promote further healing, but as long as you take them as directed, I would be surprised if this amnesia didn't resolve within the next few weeks! Severus has volunteered to cover your classes in the interim, and I would recommend you rest as much as possible over the next few weeks to allow yourself to heal. Nothing more strenuous than a short walk around castle or the grounds, and I would wait at least 2-3 days before attempting even that. Once Severus arrives to escort you to your chambers, you are free to leave, but make sure you alert myself or Severus immediately if you experience any new symptoms."

Nodding her head in agreement, Hermione wondered whether he would want to spend time with Her now that mentally she was still a 17 year old and likely far less mature than she was before the memory loss. She wondered how much I _she_ had changed in the intervening years and thought she must have done for him to fall into a friendship with a woman he had detested vehemently in her youth. As she pondered everything that might have led to their friendship, the man occupying her thoughts quietly entered the hospital wing and approached her bed with caution.

On his way back to escort her to her chambers, he'd tried unsuccessfully to figure out what he would say to her in light of all that had happened. After calming his raging emotions the previous night, he resolved to approach the situation with as much patience as he could muster and attempt to rekindle the connection the pair had formed upon her return to Hogwarts. Although the years of the war had wizened her considerably, she was still in many ways the same person with the same values and passions as she had been during her last years of her schooling. He hoped that he could help her see through what she presumed were assumptions about his personality and concern for her based on her memories of him if he gave her the time space to get to know him as they both had done at the start of term.

"Good Morning, Hermione...I mean Miss..." Severus started before gathering his thoughts and continuing. "I apologize, I fear I've become accustomed to calling you by your given name. If it would make you more comfortable for the time being, I can return to calling you Miss Granger?"

Hermione considered his offer. She'd never known Professor Snape to be so considerate of the wishes of others, and the realization that he was likely different from the caustic Professor she remembered softened her considerably. "You may continue to call me Hermione, Sir, but please excuse me if it takes some time getting used to reciprocating. I find the idea that you would allow anyone to refer to you so informally a bit of a challenge to accept."

Severus smirked at her response as he offered her his hand and assisted her out of bed. "I presume Poppy has released you from her care?"

"Yes sir." replied Hermione. "She said I was free to return to my quarters as soon as you arrived to escort me. I hate to be a burden on your time, sir, but would you be willing to show me around my quarters once we arrive? Poppy explained to me that we are friends? So am I correct in assuming you generally know your way around my rooms?"

"I'd be happy to reacquaint you with your rooms, Hermione." he offered gently. "Poppy was correct, we are friends of a sort and although I'm sure it's difficult for you to believe, we have spent a significant amount of our free time with one another during the past months. If this isn't too forward, you may use my arm for support as we start on our way?" He offered her his elbow politely, and Hermione only hesitated momentarily before reaching out to take it.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Hermione worked up the courage to ask the first question in her mind with regard to the man at her side. "I apologize if this is too forward, sir, but Poppy's explanation of our friendship and your reaction to this situation yesterday led me to believe that perhaps there's more than friendship between us?"

Severus considered how he should answer for a moment before responding. He didn't want to overwhelm her with all the recent happenings between the two of them, but he didn't want to risk her frustration should he be anything less than truthful. Sighing in resolve, he explained, "I must admit Hermione that we had recently discovered we both shared feelings for one another that extend beyond friendship, but things had been rather...complicated between us due to some recent happenings."

Hermione took all this in for a moment before replying with her other query about the nature of their relationship. "Professor? I'm not sure how best to broach this...I'm just going to come right out and ask: are you the father of my baby?"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand; he hadn't known whether Poppy had shared the news of her pregnancy with her after he'd retreated from the room and now realized she obviously had. It made sense he supposed as the elder witch wouldn't want her doing anything that could potentially harm the baby or be startled by some of the bizarre symptoms he was aware sometimes plagued pregnant women. "We have not been intimate, Hermione," he responded carefully, "based on what you shared with me, circumstances were such that you weren't aware of the father's identity and the issue is admittedly why the direction of our relationship is rather complex at the moment." he shared with the younger witch.

Hermione took this all in and considered it silently during the rest of their return to her chambers. Severus took several minutes to show her around the small flat-like space and helped her locate any essentials she would likely need during the coming days. Hermione barely paid attention as she considered the idea that somehow, she'd ended up pregnant by someone who by all accounts sounded to be a complete stranger. Had she really changed that drastically that she would allow such a thing to occur? Had she become that irresponsible in the passing years that she would sleep with someone without contraception? Apparently so. She was completely taken aback by the information, and the confusion showed on her face as Severus helped her to her bed and summoned a house elf to bring her some tea and biscuits.

After ensuring Hermione had all she needed, Severus took his leave with the promise to return later that afternoon to check on her and Hermione picked up the tome on her bedside table and began to ready. She was pleasantly surprised to see that some things hadn't changed as she pulled the bookmark from the pages of her favorite novel, Pride and Prejudice, and started reading from the beginning. Lost in the romantic tale of the Bennett family, she drifted off to sleep which was where Severus found her upon his return that afternoon Realizing she needed rest, he carefully picked up the book from her lap and marked her place with a note letter her know he had stopped in and would return in a few hours to check on her again.

Later, Hermione woke to the sound of dishes rattling against flatware as Severus entered her room with another tray from the kitchens. His lips quirked up as he noticed she was awake, and he carefully balanced the tray in front of her on the bed while he pulled 3 potions vials from the pockets of his robes to add to the delectable display in front of her. "These are the brews Madam Pomfrey instructed you to take," he advised as she regarded the potions with interest. Uncorking the first, she downed it in two gulps and proceeded to do the same with the remaining two others. Putting the bottles back in his pocket, Severus went to take his leave when he heard Hermione call from the bed gently, "Wait. Please stay for a bit?" she asked as he turned back toward her with a bit of surprise as he carefully transfigured a chair at her bedside could sit with her.

For a few moments, they sat in awkward silence before Hermione asked, "Would you tell me the story of how we became friends?"

Severus was initially shocked by her question. Given that she couldn't remember the end of the war or Voldemort's downfall during what would have been her 7th and final year, he had expected her to ask him to recall the events at the end to her. He was surprised that the subject she wanted to learn more about was the two of them.

"You kept correspondence with me after the war and we got to know each other little by little as you completed your mastery. After I hired you to become the charms professor, we naturally gravitated toward one another, likely as a result of that correspondence and have been gradually coming closer throughout the first part of term," he responded matter-of-factly.

Hermione considered this for a few moments. She wondered what sort of friendly activities the pair engaged in prior to her fall. From what she'd seen of the man so far, she could understand why she would have reconsidered her former opinion with him and engaged in a friendship, possibly more, with him. Wondering what she might suggest they do now, a thought suddenly occurred to her and she had the distinct seemingly gut feeling that the two of them would regularly plan chess. "Would you like to play a game of chess with me, Severus?" she asked, testing his given name on her tongue for the first time she could remember. Seeing the happiness spread across his face all the way to his eyes confirmed that her instinct was right, and as they played over the next few hours, Hermione was overcome by a sense of peace that eventually she would probably recall her lost memories and everything would eventually be fine.


	8. The Elephant in the Room

A/N: A brief warning, this chapter has a lovely citrus-y flavor and is NSFW ;) More notes from me at the end. Enjoy!

* * *

Over the next several weeks, Severus stopped by Hermione's chambers multiple times a day to deliver her potions and check on her progress. She was slowly regaining her memories of the missing years, and as she recovered many of those of their time together thus far during the term, he enjoyed visiting her even more. Most evenings, the pair could be found sitting near the fire in Hermione's rooms engaged in a game of chess or reading journals from their respective fields and the occasional novel. They used the time to become reacquainted with one another, and although Hermione's affection for Severus returned along with her memories, they hadn't yet broached the 'elephant in the room' regarding her pregnancy and their relationship.

Hermione's memories of the night responsible for her current circumstance were some of those still missing, and although she and Severus knew they would need to broach the topic soon, Severus didn't want to push Hermione to discuss the subject until she could recall those events. Nearly a month after she'd left the hospital wing, Hermione decided to cautiously bring up the topic herself feeling they would never be able to move forward until they cleared the air. Now 14 weeks pregnant, the changes to her body were certainly becoming more noticeable to her, and she knew she would need to start sharing the news more publicly soon. She wanted to know where she stood with the guarded man before more people (including the media) became aware of her circumstances.

Setting her book aside and shifting to face Severus completely, she gently cleared her throat and waited for him to mark his place and acknowledge her. Looking up at her, he leaned almost casually against the back of his chair and regarded her with a gentle closed-lipped smile as he crossed his legs in front of him as he gave her with a questioning look. Hermione took a deep breath to steady herself before beginning, "Severus, I know my memories are still returning, but I think we need to discuss the current state of our relationship. It's still possible I may not remember everything before the accident, and I don't want to put this conversation off any longer."

Severus's expression quickly changed to one of worry. Had she changed her mind about her feelings for him? He assumed everything was going well between them and Hermione understood that in sticking around and assisting in her recovery, he was signaling that the pregnancy was no longer weighing on his decision to be with her when she was ready. Perhaps his moment of doubt had been too much for her. It was possible she had interpreted his need to step back and consider the situation as a risk to herself and the child and was no longer open to including him in their lives. Sighing as he leaned toward the younger witch and folding his hands solemnly in front of him as he prepared for the worst, he answered, "I understand Hermione. I would have brought this up sooner, but I didn't want to overwhelm you with my thoughts while your memories were still returning. I acknowledge the conversation may be...difficult to delay at this point. Do you remember anything from the day you shared the news with me?"

"Yes, Severus. I remember that day in vivid clarity, and I understand your need to take time and space to evaluate your feelings on the situation. I'm sorry if I'm pressing the issue sooner than you're ready, but now...I'm already starting to show and I don't know that I'll be able to hide my condition too much longer. Although I'm scared I'm risking pushing you further away by asking, I need to know where we stand so I can prepare myself to share this situation appropriately."

Severus nodded. Looking down awkwardly and running a hand timidly through his hair, he continued, "Hermione, I know I shared my doubts about the situation with you when you originally told me, but seeing you injured a few weeks ago nearly broke me. It forced me to realize the depths of my affection for you and acknowledge that my concerns about how we will navigate this situation paled in comparison to my desire to be with you and figure things out together." Chancing a glance back at Hermione, he noticed the tears pooling in her eyes and quickly amended, "but if you no longer feel you want me to be a part of you or your child's life..."

"My feelings haven't changed, Severus." Hermione quietly cut him off. "If anything, the care and patience you've shown as I've been recovering has further solidified my desire that you remain part of both our lives. It may be too soon to say such things...but I wish you were the baby's father...I want nothing more than for you to fill that role if things continue to progress between us. I know it's so much to ask especially this early on, but..." she trailed off here, hesitant to finish. She didn't know if her feelings for him would be too much given the relative length of time of their relationship. She knew she was falling for the man and wanted to share a life with him and navigate this situation with him at her side, but she didn't want to pressure him to commit so much this soon. She was still debating how she should continue when Severus rose from his seat across from her and knelt before her taking both hands in his own.

"Hermione, I want those things with you too," he said longingly. "I find myself falling for you, witch, and I want to share my life with you and your child. I hope one day we can consider him or her _ours_."

No longer able to restrain her emotion, Hermione began crying in earnest and launched herself into his arms. Waiting for her breathing to slow and her posture to become more relaxed, Severus tilted her face toward his and lowered his lips to hers in a tender kiss. He was pleasantly surprised she responded eagerly, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her more tightly and pulled her as close as the burgeoning swell of her child would allow, deepening the kiss as she melted into his arms. After several moments of passionate bliss, he pulled away slightly to gaze into her eyes.

Brushing a stray lock of hair gingerly behind her ear, he pulled her against his chest as he murmured, "I know this is early days still, but I want to spend the rest of my days at your side, and if that means starting a family sooner than we might have otherwise considered, that's a negligible price to pay to have you, all of you." He kissed the top of her head gently as he turned them both as he sat in the chair and pulled her to sit in his lap, continuing to hold her close.

Hermione rested her head on his shoulder. There were still many questions to be answered over the coming months, but she felt more at peace than she had since discovering her pregnancy. Glancing up at him she asked, "Severus, will you stay with me?"

Considering her request, he faltered. Of course he wanted to spend the night with her, but he didn't want her to feel pressure to push things any further physically if she wasn't ready for that step. He answered, "Hermione, I don't want you to feel any pressure..."

"I know you would never pressure me to do anything, Severus, but I'm not some doe-eyed, innocent young maiden." She chuckled, finding it amusing he would see her in that light given everything that had transpired since the start of term. "I think the reason this conversation was necessary makes that pretty obvious, but knowing you respect me in that way makes me want you that much more..."she replied, cutting him off before he could voice his hesitation. His lips descended on hers once again, and after a few minutes wrapped around each other in the chair by her hearth, Severus easily lifted her into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, he pressed his lips to the pulse point on his neck and gently nipped her while his nimble fingers grasped her hips, tentatively raising the hem of her shirt to make contact with her bare skin. He would give her every opportunity to change her mind, but he wanted her to see how much he desperately wanted this with her as well.

As his fingers slowly caressed the smooth skin of the barely noticeable (in his opinion) swell of her child, moving tentatively up her body toward her somewhat swollen breasts, Hermione was tearing at the buttons on his frock coat, frantically trying to rid him of the garment. Chuckling to himself he paused his attentions on her neck. "We have all night, Hermione...hell I'm planning to have the rest of our lives to explore one another. Let me savor this moment." Stilling her hands, he pushed her shirt over her head and lowered his lips to one of her sensitive breasts while gently tweaking the opposing nipple between his exploring digits.

Hermione moaned with pleasure and arched her back, grinding her hips into Severus's evident arousal causing him to growl in anticipation of what they were about to do. Hermione had slowed her frantic attention at Severus's request, but was still working diligently at his buttons until she was suddenly struck by the idea to simply vanish the attire in an effort to even the score. Doing so wandlessly and non-verbally, Severus was momentarily taken aback by the sudden absence of not only his jacket and shirt, but all of his clothing before smirking at the witch beneath him and continuing his attentions. As he continued to work her into a frenzy with his attentions at her bust, Hermione (having taken advantage of his moment of surprise to glance at his impressive shaft) reached between them to enclose his girth in one hand while the other reached lower to gently caress the rest of his 'package' as she liked to call it.

Severus groaned at the attention and paused briefly after Hermione had perfected her patterned stroking to still her hand. "Keep that up, love, and this will be over before things get well and truly started..." he murmured as he began to kiss her down the length of her body arriving at the apex of her thighs. Raising his head to meet her eyes, he wordlessly requested her consent and only proceeded when she nodded and moaned, "Please...Severus!" He nearly came undone at the sound of his name released so passionately from his lips, and he hummed in approval as he removed her trousers and undergarments and felt how aroused she was already by his attentions. He positioned his lips around her nub and gently sucked following quickly with the attentions of his tongue. Her breath rapidly increasing and her hips arching off the bed in pleasure, Severus wrapped one arm around a leg to still her as he simultaneously inserted a finger into her narrow channel, curving his fingers up to find the spongy place he knew would send her soaring almost instantly.

After a mere few seconds, Hermione was seeing stars as she fell apart at his attentions and cried out his name as she came. As she peaked she cried out, "Please...ahhhh...Severus! I need you...uuunnngghh...inside!" she gasped.

Hearing her impassioned behest, Severus could no longer resist the temptation of the beautiful young woman and swiftly replaced his hand with his manhood, allowing Hermione to guide him into position before thrusting into her. Both Severus and Hermione groaned in pleasure as Severus began to move his hips in earnest, finding a rhythm that had them both climbing quickly toward ecstasy. Trying to wrangle some semblance of composure in an effort to see Hermione through to yet another climax, he was nearly thwarted when Hermione panted, "Severus...unghhhh...Merlin you feel...ahhhh so good...ahhh... inside me."

Knowing he wouldn't last much longer, especially with her exquisite responses to his attentions, he reached between them to add some friction to her clitoris which sent her soaring once more. Her fluttering walls clenching around him quickly sent him over the edge immediately afterward, and he groaned his release as he filled her with his seed.

Despite daydreaming of sharing this moment with him often, Hermione never thought she'd see Severus, a man with an iron grasp of control, lose control so wonderfully with her, and although she wanted to appropriate bask in this incredible experience with him, she was already looking forward toward to continued bliss with the man in her bed. He rolled off of her gracefully and pulled her into him so she was curled up into his side, her head resting on her chest. She didn't know what their future would hold, but she was excited at the prospect of a shared future with him. There would unquestionably be many challenges to overcome in the coming weeks and months, but she was optimistic that they'd both suffered so much already during the war, him even more so than her, and that together, they would weather the oncoming storm.

* * *

A/N: I debated making this a much slower burn, but considering both of them were so exuberantly physical with someone (to their knowledge) they'd only just met to start the story, it didn't seem logical they'd prolong this when they'd been dancing around one another for months, and they'd both come to the realization they wanted the same things with each other.

I'm hoping to give you all 1-2 updates again next week and we'll see the reactions of some of the other people in the couple's lives when they share the news both of Hermione's pregnancy and their blossoming relationship.

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! My husband works in a hospital and there was a confirmed case of COVID-19 in his building, although not on his unit. We're doing all we can to take precautions to keep him from passing it to me since my lungs and airway were permanently scarred from radiation for cancer. To any of you out there who are still working in an essential job, I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU! I personally think you all should be getting hazard pay due to everything happening right now, and coming from someone who sees someone working on the front lines every day, you are all the heroes of this pandemic!

I know it's a very small consolation, but hopefully all the new and updated stories I've been seeing over the last couple weeks is a tiny silver lining and allows everyone to escape from current events for a short time.


	9. Severus's Offer

As the Christmas holidays approached, Hermione began to consider how she might share the news of her pregnancy with her loved ones in addition to the people with whom Severus was close as he was planning to take an active role in both Hermione and the baby's lives. As she had every year since she'd erased her parents memories during the war, she was planning to spend Christmas Day with the Weasley Family at the Burrow. She hoped to share the news with them during the visit, but wasn't sure Severus would feel comfortable attending or would want her to share the news of their progressing relationship with all of them so soon.

She had chatted with Harry and Ginny about this conundrum, and the pair had insisted Severus would be welcome to attend Christmas with her and would be welcomed warmly by the rest of the family. Hermione had not doubt they would conduct themselves politely should the Headmaster decide to accompany her, but she was doubtful they would be too pleased that Hermione had gone and gotten herself up the duff with an unknown man and was allowing Severus to fill the unknown father's role in their lives. She knew Molly Weasley would likely be particularly displeased by the development as Hermione's desire to focus on her career rather than immediately starting a family had been one of the many reasons she and Ron had mutually decided to end their relationship while Hermione was pursuing her mastery.

Mrs. Weasley had been particularly aggrieved when Ron and Hermione had parted ways, and things were strained between the Weasley matriarch and the younger witch for over a year until Ron had sat his mother down and explained that the couple had mutually agreed that their relationship was no longer fulfilling to either of them the same way it had been immediately following the war. He also offered Molly reassurances that the couple had parted amicably, and once Molly had been assured Hermione hadn't broken her son's heart, the two began mending fences and Hermione had begun to feel properly included in the family again. She knew the news of her pregnancy would likely erase all of that progress, and her relationship with another man who wasn't the father of her child would be another difficult pill for the family to swallow.

Ginny had acknowledged that her mother would likely be shocked by the news, but insisted that she had long since moved on from Hermione and Ron's failed attempt at a relationship and after she got over the initial surprise would be excited for the Hermione and would insist on helping her prepare for the baby's arrival. Hermione was less optimistic but resolved to tell the family during her Christmas visit anyways, knowing it would probably be easier to move forward with her loved ones knowing about the baby.

Hermione wished fervently she could share the news with her parents, but the memory charm she had used to ensure they were safe during the war wasn't reversible by any known methods. Although she continued to research alternatives during her spare time, nothing she had tested showed any promise, and her research had been sidelined during her first months as a professor and her spare energy went toward her recovery from her accident.

Although memories were still returning, those that were still missing were coming back less frequently and with less clarity than some of those that had already been retrieved. She still couldn't remember the night of her child's conception, and knowing she would be asked more about that particular night and the father's identity when she told her friends the news, she was nervous to admit to them she couldn't even provide a basic physical description of the man at this point. Severus had explained that she never elaborated on the reasons why, but he insisted even with her memories intact she hadn't been able to determine the man's identity.

In the past few weeks, Hermione's condition had become much more noticeable and she had magically altered some of her clothing and teaching robes to fit more loosely and conceal her now proper baby bump for a few weeks longer until she could share the news with her friends and family. She had become increasingly more self-conscious of her growing belly, particularly when she and Severus were intimate with each other, but Severus had quickly put her doubt to rest as he continually reassured her she was extremely desirable, even given her present state. Severus couldn't understand how Hermione could view herself as anything other than breathtakingly beautiful, and to him her present condition only added to the appeal as her womanly curves became more pronounced and the pregnancy added softness in all the best places (at least in his opinion).

They were cuddled together, relishing in post-coital bliss with Severus curled around Hermione and lazily caressing her protruding belly when Hermione decided to broach the conversation of how she might share the news of their relationship and the baby with those closest to the couple during the holidays. Rolling over into Severus's arms to face him properly, she started, "Severus, I think we should start to tell the other professors and my friends about our relationship and the baby over the holidays."

Severus pulled her closer to him and rubbed her back reassuringly. "Are you sure, love?" he asked her hesitantly. "I'm not sure your friends will take the news that you've decided to share your life with the Bat of the Dungeons all that well..."he intoned, almost as much to himself as it was directed at her. He also foresaw the age difference being of particular concern to her peers, even if the older adults in their circle knew the difference wasn't so extreme considering witches and wizards (particularly powerful ones) lived significantly longer than their muggle counterparts. Even with that understanding, he had been her teacher and although he had done no such thing, he knew there would be those who assumed he had taken advantage of his position of authority over Hermione when she was his student.

Hermione leaned away from him so as to make eye contact with him as she replied, "I don't think our relationship will be _that _ill-received, Severus. The pregnancy is another issue entirely since I know essentially nothing of the baby's father, but I think after they get used to the initial shock, the reaction will be similar to Harry and Ginny's. Is that really the reason you don't want to share? I know our decision to be together, especially considering the baby, will be difficult for some to understand...are you having second thoughts about...?"

Severus gently grasped her face in his hands and interrupted her by kissing her reassuringly. "Not once have I doubted this decision to move forward together, Hermione. I know this will not be easy, but you're worth any negative press or criticism I receive in the face of this situation. I'm merely worried for you that you might lose the support of some of your loved-ones at a time when you need them to draw you nearer rather than push you away."

Hermione considered this momentarily before she responded. Of course he was right that the shock of their relationship might initially be too much for some of their friends, particularly those who had attended Hogwarts as expected during their seventh year and had faced the horrors of the end of the war under his initial year as headmaster. She knew, however, that most of them had since come to know Severus for the man he truly was, and she had faith that eventually they would come to realize how well-suited they were for one another.

Even if they didn't, she wasn't sure it really mattered to her. Although she loved her friends dearly and would hate to strain her relationship with any of them, they were no longer part of each others' daily lives. It was the natural way of things as they all grew older and became more invested in each of their individual families and careers, and although they regularly kept in touch via letters travelling back and forth by owl post and the occasional dinner or outing, their choices and opinions no longer had any bearing on her day-to-day life. Although she hoped they wouldn't choose to pull away as a result of her decision, she wouldn't sacrifice the joy she felt in her relationship with Severus to make anyone else happy. She knew Severus would never ask her to sacrifice her friendship with anyone for the sake of their relationship, and if someone would ask the opposite as a condition of friendship, she wasn't sure it was worth trying to convince them otherwise.

Hermione raked her fingers through the hair at Severus's neck as she explained this to Severus before she added, "Even if it takes some time for others to adjust to the idea of us being together, our happiness is worth facing that trial." She kissed him languidly before she continued, "Honestly, I think the news about the baby will be a much bigger issue than our relationship, particularly when I tell them I don't know the father."

Severus kissed her forehead before resting his chin against the top of her head as she nuzzled into his chest. He wished there was some way to ease her anxieties about others' reaction to how she'd ended up in this position. He hoped that one day the particulars would be forgotten and people would simply consider him to be the baby's father. He knew if their relationship continued on this trajectory, he would one day seek to marry the beautiful witch in his arms and adopt her child as his own. If he was honest with himself, he would marry Hermione now if he thought it would spare her from the judgement of others as they learned what had happened. The magical community held arguably puritan views about marriage and child-rearing, and he knew her experience would be much smoother if they were to marry and he were to claim her child as his own as soon as he or she were born. Severus didn't want to pressure Hermione into such an arrangement despite how confident he felt that his opinion on the matter wouldn't change and that was the eventual outcome he desired.

What he hadn't considered until that moment, was that he might offer to publicly claim the child to spare her any anxiety she felt around sharing the facts of the baby's conception. "Hermione, love? Had you considered _NOT_ sharing with anyone else that you remain unaware of the identity of the baby's father?"

"Of course I've wondered if there might be a way to keep that part of the story quiet, but it's inconceivable my friends wouldn't want to know the identity of the baby's father once they've heard the news. What else could I possibly tell them when the question comes up?" she answered, resignedly.

Sighing, Severus considered how he might pitch the idea to Hermione delicately. "I know we're still in the early stages of this relationship, Hermione, and I hope I'm not overstepping with what I'm about to offer, but I think you understand that my eventual hope is that the three of us: you, me and this baby, can be a family regardless of the circumstances preceding our current regard for one another. I don't want you to feel that I'm pushing you toward too much of a commitment early on, but you shared with me once that you wished I was the father of the baby and I share the desire that one day we will marry and I will fill that role. Given that foreseeable outcome, had you considered simply telling others that the child is mine?"

Hermione pulled back suddenly and looked into his eyes, noting the tentative hope she saw within them. "But Severus," she cautioned, "that would open you up to a world of criticism if others thought you'd impregnated me before we were even in a relationship, let alone married. I know I'm a muggle-born and less aware of the customs and attitudes in pureblood wizard society, but I have an idea how this situation will be perceived in our world, particularly by the older families. How could I ask you to submit to that sort of outrage?"

He gently rubbed her shoulders with the intent to comfort her misgivings as he explained, "Hermione, nobody need know we were not in a relationship at the time the baby was conceived. For all they're aware, we could have been concealing our affections for some time leading up to this announcement, and they'd be none the wiser if we presented this situation in that light. I'd never want you to feel pressured into a decision as significant as marriage, and i want you to take the time you need to hopefully recover all of your memories and make such a decision once you've had time to consider it thoroughly, but know that I would marry you tomorrow if it meant I would spare you an ounce of pain or embarrassment from this situation."

Hermione's eyes went as wide as saucers at this pronouncement as she was genuinely shocked he would enter such a commitment to her and to her child this early into their relationship. "You'd really want to marry me?" she asked incredulously as she continued to search his face for any sign of hesitation and regret.

"Of course I would, love. If this is ultimately where we are headed, and it is my deepest hope that is our intended path, I see no reason to forestall such a commitment, particularly when it would be so beneficial to you and the baby to claim you both as my own sooner rather than later. I would never ask you to make this decision hastily, which is why I do not ask now for your hand, but as this is my intent once you've recovered all of your memories and have had the opportunity to reflect on the situation, I see no reason why you should further stress yourself trying to determine how to share the true nature of this situation with those close to you. I know Harry and Ginny may have been understanding, but I'd hate for you to risk any strained relationships when it's within my power to offer this."

Hermione considered this for another moment as she wondered whether her friends would buy in to this narrative that Severus was the father of the baby. Hermione had similar hopes for their future together and wanted nothing more than for Severus to act as a father to her son or daughter. Would it really be that much of a stretch to say the baby was Severus's by blood as well? What would her friends think of such a revelation? Would Molly be more forgiving if she thought the child wasn't the result of poor judgement in the heat of the moment with a complete stranger? The answer was probably yes, even though she knew Molly was still likely to be distraught the baby wasn't her future grandchild.

"Severus, I hope you know how much I want that future for us as well, and I guess it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to identify you as the baby's father since that is how I hope you see yourself involved in his or her life once the baby arrives. Would you like to come spend the holidays with me at the Weasleys' and share the news with them together?"

"If my memories of the war years serve me, I suppose partaking in some of Molly's decadent Christmas feast wouldn't present _too_ much of a hardship..." he intoned sardonically as he pulled Hermione back into his chest and chuckled gently as he mentally prepared himself for the onslaught he was about to face.

...

On Christmas morning after a lovely breakfast shared near the hearth in Severus's quarters as they opened an assortment of presents from their friends, colleagues, and one another, Hermione donned a fashionable over-sized sweater, leggings, and boots in an effort to conceal what would be quite the surprise at the Weasley's family dinner. As she had done many times previously, she regarded herself in the mirror from every angle, trying to decide if an additional glamour should be utilized to further hide her swelling belly. As she considered this option, Severus approached from behind her, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "You look beautiful, Hermione. You needn't worry." he mumbled as nipped her earlobe playfully.

She turned into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck as she shared her lingering fears about waltzing into the lion's den as she had come to think of their planned Christmas outing. "Are you sure we're doing the right thing? What if everyone turns their back on us?"

"That isn't going to happen, Hermione. Your friends will be surprised and it may take them some time to fully adjust to the idea, but you are too good and too lovely for them to abandon you. Besides, no matter what happens, you and your little lion cub will always have me." he answered as he kissed her soundly.

His reassurances and his recently appointed nickname for the baby couldn't help but make Hermione smile as he turned on heel and apparated them (as was his privilege as headmaster) from his quarters into the Weasley's back garden. Rising on tiptoe to kiss him once more, Severus and Hermione were startled when from the back door of the Weasley's home they heard a sudden crash and Mrs. Weasley shriek as the couple parted and immediately noticed the garden path covered in pieces of a shattered platter and a clearly flustered and irate Molly Weasley...

* * *

A/N: We obviously started down this track in the last chapter, but I thought some clarity about where each saw the relationship headed was necessary given how challenging some parts of the road ahead will be for for our couple. I don't think Severus would be one to beat around the bush so to speak regarding his intentions, and this offer to Hermione confirms for her that he's genuine in his desire to share a life with her and the baby. I also think it was important that they establish this regardless of any knowledge either may come to learn about the role Severus truly played in the baby's conception.

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! I'm planning to update at least one more time this week to give everyone a much needed break (myself included) from all the insanity happening in the world right now. Much love and thanks to those on the front lines fighting this pandemic!


	10. A Family to Call His Own

Last time: Severus and Hermione were startled when from the back door of the Weasley's home they heard a sudden crash and Mrs. Weasley shriek as the couple parted and immediately noticed the garden path covered in pieces of a shattered platter and a clearly flustered and irate Molly Weasley...

* * *

"Severus Snape, what on earth do you think you're doing putting your hands on Hermione?!" Molly shouted as she stalked down the path toward the couple. "She was you _student _Severus, how dare you even consider..." she cut off here, huffing indignantly as she was clearly unwilling to voice out loud what she had just witnessed between the headmaster and her youngest son's best friend. Turning to Hermione, her face softened considerably as she asked, "Are you alright my dear?"

"Of course I'm alright, and let me get one thing straight!" Hermione retorted. "Severus Snape wasn't doing anything untoward or that wasn't reciprocated and you will refrain from assuming the worst of him." Molly regarded her in shock as Hermione continued to ramble, "No matter how difficult it is for you to believe, I love this man wholeheartedly and if you cannot accept that you've got another thing coming!"

Severus attempted to hide his smirk at he watched Hermione's volatile reaction to the assault on his character. He was deeply touched by her vehement defense of him and was about to explain as much to Hermione when all three of them were startled by someone clearing their throat from the direction of the house. Turning toward the noise, he noticed Harry grinning sheepishly from where he stood beside Ginny and the rest of the Weasley men who had emerged from house at the sound of the commotion and were taking in the scene before them.

Hermione blushed profusely as she realized they had not only heard the entire conversation, but her pseudo-brothers were now frantically looking between the couple and waiting for them to confirm what they'd just witnessed. Although Hermione hadn't wanted to spring her news on them so suddenly after arriving, there was no longer a reason to delay any further. "I had not intended to share this news with you all so flippantly; we had prepared to share our relationship with you all after dinner this evening." Hermione sighed.

Realizing she was unsure how to best continue, Severus stepped up to her side and pulled her up against him in a warm, comforting embrace. "Hermione and I have been seeing one another for a little while now..." he glanced down at Hermione, silently requesting her permission to share their additional piece of news. She looked almost relieved he was willing to step up to the task and her nod was only perceptive to him as he continued, "...and we have some additional news to share as well." Hermione smoothed her hands down the front of her sweater pulling the fabric taunt over the swell of her stomach as Severus laid a hand protectively over the bump.

"Severus and I are expecting a new arrival near the end of the spring term." Hermione said hesitantly as she took in the flabbergasted expressions of each of the Weasleys in turn. Harry and Ginny, who of course already knew about the baby, were the first to react and immediately rushed over to the couple to share a congratulatory hug and wish them well. The other Weasley men each followed in turn sheepishly as they expressed their happiness for the pair with Ron bringing up the rear.

He approached Hermione tentatively, obviously still stunned by her news as he asked, "A baby Hermione?" He ran a hand through his tousled locks in a self-soothing gesture as he continued, "I thought you wanted to wait until you were well into your career before you would be ready to start a family?" As he spoke, he appeared confused although not outright angry with her about the revelation.

Hermione looked down and shuffled her feet as she started to attempt to gather her thoughts. "Ron...I...well that was my intent...I didn't think...I didn't want..." she floundered, trying to gather the right words to explain without sharing the circumstances surrounding the baby's arrival in their lives or going back on her feelings on the subject of children she'd expressed to him toward the end of their relationship. She knew he had moved on and was happy, but this was a substantial departure from all the plans she'd ever shared with him for the future, and she didn't want him to feel like she'd lied to him or misled him when she'd shared those aspirations with him.

Seeing that she was struggling to find an answer, Severus decided to step in again and explained, "What Hermione is trying to say is that her condition came as quite a surprise to both of us and was certainly not something we'd planned. However, after we'd recovered from the initial shock, we found we were both excited about the prospect of parenthood."

Ron nodded and remained silent for a moment as he considered what to say. "I'll admit that I never in my wildest imaginings...I never would have...what I mean to say is that the idea of you two together and raising is baby is going to take some getting used to, but you're my best friend Mione..." he said embracing her in a warm hug, "and as long as you're happy that's all that really matters...but I'd better be the godfather..." he added with a smirk and a quick wink before he followed his older brothers back inside.

As most of the family reentered the house, Molly remained outside with the couple, tears welling in her eyes after seeing Ron's reaction to the news. Turning back to Hermione after a few moments of awkward silence, the Weasley matriarch finally admitted, "I won't lie to you and say I'm not disappointed that the child isn't a Weasley, but if Ron can be happy for the two of you I will endeavor to look at this news joyfully as well." she sniffed. Her face screwed up in anger once more as she turned back to Severus and amended, "but so help me if you ever do anything to hurt her Severus Snape..." she trailed off, leaving her threat open-ended before turning on heel and marching back into the house.

"I'm sure she would only be one in a long line of people who would be out for my blood." Severus mumbled as he chuckled darkly. Hermione and Severus were left alone in the back garden for a moment after the rest of the family had retreated inside, and Hermione glanced up at him in wonder before she inquired, "Did you mean it Severus? Are you honestly happy? Even though the baby isn't..."

"Don't even finish that sentence Hermione." Severus interrupted scowling momentarily before he softened considerably and enfolded her in his arms. "Of course I'm happy witch. As long as you are a part of my life, I will remain so. None of this is what either of us expected of our future, but I find as long as we are navigating that future together, I will always look forward to what's yet to come for us." He kissed the top of her head as he gently stroked her back reassuringly. Suddenly remembering the words she'd said aloud for the first time to Molly, he knew he wanted to question her similarly about the interaction. "Did you mean what you said to Molly earlier?" he inquired as he pulled away slightly to meet her gaze as he awaited her response.

"What do you mean Severus? Of course I was going to defend you against Molly's ridiculous accusations...of all the absurd..."

"No, Hermione," Severus clarified, interrupting her and then suddenly hesitating slightly, "did you mean it when you said you loved me?"

Hermione blushed slightly as she remembered she had said as much during the heated exchange but hadn't actually said the words out loud to Severus yet. She had told him once before that she was falling for him, and she assumed he understood the depth of her affections, but she hadn't wanted him to feel pressure to say the words in response if he wasn't yet ready.

"Of course I meant it, Severus." Hermione reassured him in a hushed, nearly whispered tone. "You don't have to respond...I don't want you to feel any obligation to feel the same yet...I know it's so soon..."

Severus stopped her abruptly as he pulled her flush against him and pressed his lips to hers. "I love you too, Hermione." he said as he brushed an errant curl away from her face. He chuckled for a moment before continuing, "Aren't we a pair? You hadn't shared as much yet because you didn't want me to feel pressure to return that level of affection and I was doing the same as I didn't want you to think you should say the words back before you'd fully recovered your memories of our time together." He kissed her again. "I do love you witch, and I hope with time you'll come to see just how much. Now why don't we join the rest of family inside."

Keeping his hand gently upon the small of her back, he led her into the house to join the other Weasleys in an evening celebrating both the holiday, and the recent developments in their lives. Throughout the evening, they were also able to share the news with Neville and Luna and their significant others as they had arrived later to celebrate with the group. Neville had been stunned but happy for the pair once he'd recovered from the initial shock. Luna had simply smiled at Hermione knowingly, and as Luna frequently had the tendency to do, gave the impression that she'd been keenly aware of the situation all along. All in all, Hermione and Severus had been pleasantly surprised by the generally happy responses from the group and hoped the Hogwarts staff would react similarly when they shared the news with them the following week.

Upon returning to Severus's quarters later that evening, Severus made a pot of tea and settled himself on the sofa nearest the fireside. Hermione had slipped into his bedroom, presumably to use the restroom as the child within her increased the frequency of her visits to the loo in recent weeks. She returned a few moments later with a small parcel wrapped in green paper and tied with a shiny silver ribbon and curled up against Severus as she pressed the gift into his hands. "I had one last present for you, Severus. I wanted you to know just how happy I am that you will already be so involved in our lives as soon as the baby arrives."

Unwrapping the parcel carefully, he lifted the smallest article of clothing he'd ever laid eyes on from the wrappings and read what was emblazoned on the mint-green fabric: _Daddy's Little Potioneer. _When he looked at her questioningly, his eyes full of emotion, Hermione explained, "I know we would have the option to cast a paternity charm when the baby arrives, but I don't think I want to Severus. In my mind, _YOU_ are the baby's father, and blood relation doesn't matter to me in the slightest."

He felt his eyes grow moist with happy tears as he gaped at the contents of the parcel for what seemed like an eternity before he finally pulled Hermione into his embrace and kissed her passionately. "I know the baby may not be biologically mine," exclaimed Severus, "but I will endeavor every day to be the best father he or she could ever know." He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head as he stroked her belly lovingly. After a few moments he asked, "Speaking of him or her, do you intend to ask Poppy to perform the spell to reveal the gender? You're nearly halfway through your pregnancy and the gender charm should be effective at around 20 weeks."

"I've considered it, but I hadn't really decided whether to go through with it. Part of me would like to know; it would certainly make choosing a name easier. On the other hand, how often are we able to remain truly surprised in this day and age? I find the idea of waiting until the baby arrives appealing as well. What do you think Severus? Would you like to know?"

He considered the question for a moment before eventually answering, "I think I'd like to know, Hermione. Of course if you decide you'd like to wait, I will fully support you; you are doing the difficult part in all of this and the decision should ultimately be yours. However, I'm drawn to the idea of discussing names and being able to refer to the baby as something less generic than 'it' or 'them' you continue to progress."

Hermione thought for a moment before she agreed. "I didn't really have a strong opinion either way, and the idea of using a name rather than abstract pronouns would be wonderful. I'm due to have Poppy check my progress both with the baby and on the return of my memories just before the New Year next week. I'll see if she can perform the charm then!" She leaned back against him and yawned as she snuggled into his chest, and Severus smiled warmly when she dozed off only a moment later. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom placing her gently on what had become 'her side' of the bed and laid beside her as he dozed off himself. As he drifted into slumber he considered how much his life had changed in only a few short months, and although he could have never anticipated the events of the last few months, he was grateful he would soon have a family to call his own.

* * *

A/N: What did you all think of the reactions of the Weasleys' reaction to the news? Although I'm not among those who think Hermione's relationship would have failed spectacularly as it was written in the book, I think they certainly would have faced some challenges and eventually would have developed the maturity to either a) experience significant independence within their relationship (each pursuing their own independent interests apart from one another regularly) or b) realize they were not as well suited as they hoped at the end of a traumatic shared experience and part as friends. I'm sure you can tell from the current pairing which idea appeals to me more (*winks). I love the idea that Ron would be shocked, but supportive of her happiness.

I have the next chapter fully written and just need to edit, so expect another update soon. Things are about to get exciting for our couple, so stay tuned for more within a couple days!

I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! I love seeing your reviews-they keep me motivated to write quickly so please continue sharing your thoughts!


	11. Remembering

The week of the New Year turned out to be quite eventful for the couple. Severus shared the news of their relationship and the baby with the Hogwarts staff during the traditional Boxing Day staff party. Hagrid had unsurprisingly burst into joyful tears, exclaiming his happiness loudly and drunkenly to anyone who would listen. Even Minerva had been moved to the point where her eyes became misty as she hugged both Severus and Hermione and expressed her hope that she might be known as Granny Minnie to their little one. The rest of the staff had been surprised but seemingly thrilled for the couple as they animatedly discussed ways they might help the pair prepare for the baby's arrival in the coming months.

Severus had asked Hermione over dinner that evening if she would like to permanently move into his quarters. He reassured her that the castle would adjust to provide plenty of room for both her and the baby in addition to her extensive library which would be combined with his own massive collection. Hermione agreed it wasn't practical to maintain two separate living spaces when they spent the majority of their time together in one of their respective chambers anyways. She had been doing extensive reading about magical pregnancies and knew she should take advantage of the energy she'd have throughout her second trimester to prepare as much as possible before the later stages of pregnancy where she would be less energetic and less mobile than she felt currently.

They spent two days, with the help of a few of the castle's elves, moving Hermione's belongings from her chambers into Severus's, and Hermione had been pleasantly surprised when they returned from lunch in the great hall to find their combined library fully organized and the addition of what they immediately identified as an ideal nursery which was adjacent to their bedroom with a door connecting the two spaces to allow the couple easy access to the newly created space. The decided they would wait to shop for and decorate the baby's room until they'd had Poppy perform the gender charm and the couple decided on a name.

The night before Hermione was scheduled to visit Poppy, Hermione and Severus were curled up together on the sofa in front of the hearth, Hermione's legs across Severus's lap, as they excitedly discussed what was to happen the following day. "Severus, have you thought of any names you're partial to once we know the gender? Are there any traditions regarding the naming of children in your family?"

"Shouldn't you be the one to decide on the name, Hermione?" Severus asked uncomfortably. Even though the couple had discussed that the baby would only ever know Severus as his or her father, there were still several aspects of the pregnancy and baby's arrival that made the headmaster feel out-of-place. He'd never considered that Hermione would want his opinion when deciding upon a name-he rather assumed she would make the decision as she would be the one experiencing all the unpleasant aspects of carrying a child in addition to what he understood to be the rather trying experience of actually delivering the baby.

He didn't doubt Hermione had been genuine when she told him she considered him the baby's father for all intents and purposes. He had guessed she might ask his opinion on a name she had chosen, but he couldn't imagine having any strong objections...unless of course she wanted to name the baby Harry or Ronalda or some such drivel. The most he had dared hope for, however, was some ability to veto any unacceptable choices.

"Well obviously I'd like _some_ say in the name," replied Hermione sarcastically with a chuckle as she tried to lighten the mood, but seeing his still serious expression, she continued, "however seeing as we are going to be raising this child together, I think it's important we make _these decisions_ together as well." They sat in silence for a moment as Hermione took in Severus's worried expression before she added, "When I told you I would consider you to be the baby's father, I meant that in _every_ sense of the word. I know we aren't married, but if we want to move forwards as partners in this, I think it's critical that our combined input be the most important factor as we move forward."

Severus thought about this for a moment as he absentmindedly stroked Hermione's legs which were still situated across his lap. He hadn't considered that she would want him to play such an active role in these decisions, and although he had been genuine in his offer to support her through every step of her pregnancy and subsequent parenthood, he'd assumed she would ultimately want authority over some of the major decisions as the baby wasn't biologically his. He was overwhelmed by the idea that she would desire his input on something so vital as deciding on a name. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he wordlessly got up from his position on the sofa and went into the kitchen to brew some tea. As he waited for the water to boil, he splayed his hands on the counter leaning against it with his head bowed as he attempted to reign in control over his emotions.

The kettle whistled a few minutes later, but as Severus was still lost in thought, he neglected to remove it from the heat. Hermione cautiously entered the kitchen, and seeing Severus's disconcerted expression, carefully removed the kettle from the burner and extinguished the flame before coming up behind Severus and cautiously rubbing his back soothingly. "Are you alright, Severus? I didn't mean to upset you. I assumed you would want to have a say in naming our child?" Hermione questioned.

Severus pivoted around to face her, his eyes growing wide momentarily before he tempered his expression. It had been the first time either of them had made an offhand comment acknowledging the child was to be _theirs. _Of course he logically understood this was Hermione's intent when she'd given him such a meaningful gift the week prior, but this conversation made the meaning all the more _real _ to him. Pulling her close in his arms reassuringly he explained, "I'm not upset Hermione. It's just, all this seemed rather hypothetical up until now and I hadn't really considered what it would _truly_ mean to be a father. Are you sure I'm the best..."

"Do you love me, Severus?" Hermione asked.

"Of course I love you, witch. I thought I'd made that perfectly clear..."

"And do you love the baby?"

Severus considered this for a moment. He knew he felt immeasurably protective of both Hermione and the child she was carrying, and he had been honest when he'd admitted his excitement over the prospect of becoming a father, even if the circumstances were incredibly bizarre. But love? The more he thought about it the more he realized he did love this child simply because he loved Hermione so desperately. He would do anything for either of them. "Yes, Hermione." he whispered. "I love you both, dearly."

"Then you _ARE _the best person this baby could ever ask for as a father." she said smiling as she wrapped her arms around him and leaned against him. "I've never doubted that for one moment Severus, and it's important to me that you have an equal voice in any of the decisions we make about the future together." The couple stood their quietly for a few moments, simply content to be in each others arms as they considered everything that had transpired between them.

Finally Severus sighed and was the first to break the tentatively peaceful silence between them, "In my mother's family, the Prince side, the men were always given their father's name as a middle name. That said, I'm not really sure how I feel burdening a child with the baggage attached with my name in our world."

"My family has a similar tradition with the women being named in honor their mothers; that's how I came to have the middle name Jean." Hermione started, not immediately sure how she wanted to respond to Severus's misgivings about his own name. "It's your name, Severus, and I'll leave it to you to decide whether you would be open to the idea, but I would be proud if we had a son named in your honor." Hermione finished as she kissed him on the cheek and left his embrace to start preparing tea for the pair of them.

Severus moved quietly beside her to help assemble some sandwiches to accompany the tea, and after a few moments of silence he finally spoke. "I will consider it Hermione, but the point might be moot. The baby might be a little girl after all. If Poppy confirms the baby will be a boy, I promise I will seriously consider your thoughts on the matter." Taking a tray of tea and sandwiches back to the sofa to resume their reading, another question popped into Severus's head which he decided to keep to himself for the time being. What surname would Hermione want to give the child? The couple wasn't married and even if they were, Severus wasn't convinced Hermione was the type to want to change her name. Whether or not they were married before the child arrives, would she want him or her to be a Snape?

The question remained on his mind for the duration of the evening, and as they drifted off to sleep curled up together in post-coital bliss, the more he felt the ambiguity of the situation wouldn't do. Considering the happiness this witch had brought into his life, he found himself wanting to create some sense of permanence within their relationship sooner rather than later, and he dreamed that night about how he might amend their circumstance within the coming weeks.

* * *

A few days later, Severus accompanied Hermione at her request to her examination by Madam Pomfrey. The two were greeted upon entering the hospital wing by a warm smile from the older Mediwitch who had now assumed (alongside the rest of the staff) that Severus was the biological father of the baby. Although she'd initially chastised the Headmaster for putting Hermione in a position where she felt ill-at-ease about revealing the identify of the baby's father, she'd been quite pleased with their decision to publicly announce their relationship and their excitement to parent the baby together.

Hermione sat on the exam table nearest Poppy's office, curtains drawn around the couple and the mediwitch for privacy as she started by waiving her wand to take a few measurements of Hermione's growing abdomen and run several heath diagnostics on both the mother and the child. After a few minutes she turned back to the couple with a smile as she announced, "Well Hermione, everything with the pregnancy seems to be going swimmingly. You and the baby are both healthy and your measurements are just about textbook for being about 18-19 weeks along."

Momentarily crestfallen that it might be too early to ask about the gender Hermione asked Madam Pomfrey, "Is that too early for us to perform a gender charm?"

"Probably not." answered the witch, "but at this stage I would feel more comfortable if you sought out a midwife through St. Mungo's to perform regular exams and assist with the delivery. We haven't had an expecting staff member during the entirety of my tenure here, and generally any students who wind up in this position withdraw from the school either temporarily or permanently or ultimately make the decision to terminate the pregnancy altogether. I'm afraid I'm extremely out of practice with obstetrics as I haven't had much exposure since my initial training."

Hermione nodded in understanding. "Is there anyone at St. Mungo's you would recommend?" she asked.

"Not particularly, but I understand the Potters welcomed a new addition somewhat recently. Perhaps they could put you in touch with their midwitch or wizard?" Poppy suggested.

Hermione made a mental note to ask Harry and Ginny the following evening as she and Severus were planning to ring in the New Year with the couple and baby Jaime at Grimmauld Place. Hermione had been thrilled and surprised Severus had agreed to come with her and was looking forward to seeing him interact with the baby. Although they had seen many of the Weasley grandchildren at Christmas, but the sheer number of people had made it difficult for Severus to spend much time with the little boy.

They turned next to the subject of Hermione's memory and Poppy expressed some concerns that there were still gaps in Hermione's recollection, predominately from the completion of her masters through the start of term earlier in the year. "Hermione, it may be time to consider seeking out a specialist at St. Mungos to see if they have anything additional to offer in retrieving those memories that are still missing." Poppy explained as she took in the couple's worried expression. Hermione had seen enough of the memory ward at St. Mungos to last a lifetime, and her mind wandered concernedly to an image of Neville's parents and wondered if it was possible for her to end up like them.

Taking her hand reassuringly, Severus added, "there's no reason to worry about a regression, Hermione." She hadn't felt him enter her mind, so she knew he hadn't used legilimency to pick up on her thoughts, but she was taken aback momentarily by how quickly he'd realized her concern. "It won't get any worse, love. I promise I'd never let them do anything to you that could potentially lead to that outcome." he said soothingly as he rubbed small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

Madam Pomfrey did have a recommendation within that particular unit within the hospital, and had already called ahead and scheduled a visit for her later that afternoon. The couple thanked the mediwitch and returned to their quarters, cautiously optimistic that the hospital might be able to restore the last few months of absent memories.

As they prepared to floo to the appointment later that afternoon, Hermione stopped Severus, grabbing him by the wrist just before he entered the floo. "Severus, I think we should use my glamour charm to disguise ourselves before we go to the appointment."

He looked at her confusedly for a moment before she elaborated, "I know if we were seen by other patients or the press together and they made note of the pregnancy, the papers would have a field day." Severus looked back at her, momentarily wondering if she was suddenly reconsidering publicly declaring him the father. As if Hermione had read his thoughts, she continued, "It's not that I'm ashamed of you, love, but I want us both to have more time to figure out this arrangement before the press decides to put in their two-knuts-worth."

Recognizing that the opinions of Rita Skeeter and her ilk would certainly complicate things for them, Severus understood completely and agreed with the suggestion. They had both been hounded mercilessly by the press in the years following the war, and unfortunately many of the stories printed took circumstances surrounding the war and the final battle and twisted them to make some pretty wild allegations about many of those involved. He recalled one article that claimed he had secretly been a vampire and the story of his recovery after being bit by Nagini was simply an elaborate cover allowing him to bear the scars on his neck to the world.

He nodded as he turned back to the floo and absentmindedly waived his wand between the pair of them, morphing into the disguised version of himself with whom he had become very familiar since Hermione had sent him her thesis for review in advance of it's publication during her mastery.

Turning back toward Hermione to offer his hand before they stepped into the fireplace, Severus suddenly paled in shock as he realized he recognized the disguised face staring back at him...

* * *

A/N: And we finally have the reveal! Now I can fully share why I wanted Hermione's memories of that night to disappear (at least for a time) and why I decided paternity charms in this tale would only be possible after the baby is born...I didn't think it would be nearly as interesting if Hermione figured out the child was Severus's before he did (mostly because this is normally how these events play out lol). I've seen those circumstances unfold in stories before, and that isn't to say I haven't enjoyed them (because I do), but I thought it would be fun to turn the idea on it's head and have Severus realize he's the baby's father before Hermione did in this case and see how that might impact the future for our couple.

Things are getting interesting folks, and we'll have to see how Severus handles the news in the coming chapter(s).

I hope everyone is still staying safe and healthy! I do have an update with my husband's situation because I am considered so high risk: they are working on getting him the capability to work remotely! We were thrilled by this news, but we also learned this week that he has already been exposed as one of the patients from his unit is one of the confirmed cases in our state. Both of us are healthy and showing no symptoms for now so we're just hoping and praying it stays that way! Please continue to think positive thoughts for all the healthcare workers on the front lines around the world. They need all the positive energy we can give them right now, and if you are someone continuing to work in an essential job, THANK YOU!

Please keep the reviews coming! I love hearing everyone's thoughts on the story so far and hearing your predictions about where you think it's going or how things might be revealed. Hopefully this chapter gives you some more to speculate about!


	12. A Trial and a Struggle

Last time: Severus nodded as he turned back to the floo and absentmindedly waived his wand between the pair of them, turning himself into the disguised version of himself with whom he had become very familiar since Hermione had sent him her thesis for review in advance of it's publication during her mastery.

Turning back toward Hermione to offer his hand before they stepped into the fireplace, Severus suddenly paled in shock as he realized he recognized the disguised face staring back at him...

* * *

Hermione immediately noticed Severus's change in demeanor and stepped up to him quickly, taking his arm and rubbing it soothingly. "Severus, is everything ok? I'm sorry if I've upset you. I just thought some privacy would be nice..."

Severus quickly schooled his expression, realizing she hadn't noticed what he'd just discovered through the use of her glamour charm. Although he'd suspected as much from their conversations over the weeks since her accident, her reaction, or lack therof, confirmed that Hermione had no memory of the night of the baby's..._HIS _baby's conception. He now understood that both himself and Hermione must have used her charm before they'd met that evening in the club, and unbeknownst to either of them, it had been him all along with whom she'd felt that connection leading to some of those feelings of guilt she expressed when she shared the news about the pregnancy.

Looking back at it now, he was incredulous that he hadn't put the pieces together. He'd felt a similar connection with the young woman he'd met that night. Although not a prude by anyone's standards, Severus wasn't the type of man to take women home to his bed regularly, and especially not one he'd only just met, so it had been clear he'd felt something special between himself and the young woman he'd met in the club. He couldn't believe how quickly he'd shoved her from his mind once he and Hermione started becoming closer. If only he'd questioned her more when she told him she was expecting...he might have put the pieces together then and there and they both would have realized so much sooner that she had no reason to be so distraught by the news.

How in Merlin's name was he going to explain to Hermione what had happened now, particularly when she didn't remember that night at all let alone that she'd used a glamour to disguise herself when she'd met the father of her child. Upon further consideration, he wondered if she had been able to tell that the man she'd been with was similarly using her spell that night. He knew from reading her published papers on the charm that there were ways to distinguish its use, although to the untrained eye these would be difficult to spot. Having created it, however...he tried to puzzle out whether she could have known, wishing he could ask her outright...it would certainly explain why she'd been so adamant that she'd have no way of determining the baby's paternity after the fact. In any case, now was not the time to have this conversation, particularly as it would make them late for Hermione's appointment at St. Mungos.

Perhaps they would have a solution to the gaps in her memory, and she would come to the same realization he had before they'd have to discuss things together. Knowing it was wishful thinking, Severus couldn't help but hope there would be some options the specialists could suggest. Having her memories of that evening would certainly make things easier than attempting explain the situation and how he'd connected the threads... He firmly withdrew himself from analyzing the situation further at the present moment and took Hermione's hand reassuringly. He needed time to appropriately prepare himself mentally and emotional for this conversation, time which was not afforded to him at the present. "I'm sorry Hermione, I don't know what came over me. Shall we?" he asked as he gestured for her to precede him into the floo.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. The healers in the memory spells ward at St. Mungo's had been working with the Unspeakables at the ministry of magic on some new remedies to combat memory alterations which resulted from trauma. While the intent had been to improve the quality of life for patients like Neville's parents who had sustained trauma from spell damage such as prolonged exposure to the cruciatus curse, the healers felt it could be applied in cases of blunt force trauma as well. The idea was that the patient would take a potion specifically developed to lower any mental shields the mind had subconsciously erected in response to the patient's traumatic experience which would then allow a skilled Legilimens to enter their mind to help guide the patient toward those previously unrecoverable memories. The application of these combined interventions was currently in the trial phase, but they had seen promising results in those who were currently involved in the research.

Hermione was clearly uneasy about the idea of a mediwitch or wizard poking around in her memories, and requested time to review current publications about the theory along with the consent documentation before making a decision. She was scheduled for a follow-up visit in two weeks time to discuss her decision along with any other options should she not move forward as a participant in the study.

While the pair was at the hospital, they stopped briefly at the maternity ward to request a list of midwitches who were currently accepting new patients along with some possible appointment dates and times. Hermione planned to ask Harry and Ginny if they'd had any experience with any of those provided and indicated she would owl the appropriate department to request an appointment after the first of the year.

Returning to their quarters at Hogwarts, Hermione immediately began reading through the materials provided by St. Mungos on the memory trial and started penning letters to some of her research partners from her mastery days to see if they had access to any of the publications discussing the study and its findings thus far. While she worked in the couple's recently combined library, Severus fixed himself a tumbler of firewhisky and settled himself on their sofa to consider how he might approach Hermione about the baby's new-found parentage.

Being the emotionally complicated man Severus was, he found himself of two minds regarding what he had discovered when he'd applied the glamour to them both earlier that day. On the one hand, he was thrilled by the news that the baby he was learning to consider as his son or daughter was _actually _his. He could fully immerse himself in the joys of impending parenthood with his lovely witch without the accompanying awkwardness that had previously colored the couple's arrangement and discussions about the future. He was, however, simultaneously gutted that if Hermione had not insisted they use her charm, he may have never known about the existence of his son or daughter because Hermione hadn't intended to seek out more information about the baby's parentage.

He knew logically that her only reason for doing so was their current relationship and that she didn't feel the need to know the baby's true parentage when they both intended to move forward as if the baby hadn't been fathered by another man. He knew this shouldn't bother him in light of her reasoning, but now that he knew the child was his, he was devastated that a scenario could have played out where he'd have been none the wiser. He knew it shouldn't matter; in either scenario, he would be the only father the child would ever know, but the knowledge that he and Hermione had created this life together in the heat of their passions without even knowing who the other was, it changed him somehow.

He was also irate with himself that he hadn't even though to ask the young woman that night whether she'd taken any precautions to prevent a pregnancy...he'd simply assumed, despite his years instructing the young men in Slytherin that they should never assume such things and always burden themselves with that particular responsibility. Even after Hermione had originally shared the news of the pregnancy, he'd never even thought to be concerned that a similar situation could have transpired between himself and the woman he'd been with that night. Although he'd put the young woman out of his mind once he and Hermione started to realize the feelings they shared for one another, he was stunned that he could so easily forget what he'd shared that night with _her._

Even knowing that it had been Hermione didn't assuage the guilt he felt that he'd never sought out the woman he'd been with and hadn't concerned himself with the potential repercussions of what they'd done. Not to mention, he hadn't even told Hermione that he had been similarly entranced by another just before the start of term. Would she be as receptive that he had been with someone else, even if that someone had unknowingly been her, so soon before they'd come to mean so much to one another? Would her confidence in the bond they shared suffer knowing there had been another woman?

He tried to convince himself that the connection he felt with in the club was only present because that woman was in fact Hermione. Even as he unknowingly pursued her, he was attracted by so many of the qualities he loved in Hermione. If it hadn't been _his _witch, things would never have progressed so far in the first place because he'd never felt so strongly about anyone. Self-consciously, however, he wondered whether there could ever be another woman that would tempt him to stray from Hermione. Of course he would never want to do such a thing to her, but the question plagued him for several minutes, wondering if he even deserved a woman like her when he could so easily forget what they'd shared before he'd become aware she was actually the woman he'd met that night.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed away the tension as he tried to envision the best way to proceed. This was all terribly confusing, and if he was honest with himself, he was over-complicating the situation far more than was necessary. He felt, however, he could benefit from an outside perspective on the matter to help him realign his thoughts. Rising from his place on the sofa, Severus strode quietly to the library and knocked gently on the door which Hermione had left ajar so as not to startle her. Hermione replaced her quill in the ink-pot and turned toward the sound. "Oh! Severus! I'm sorry, I seem to have gotten caught up in attempting to gather information about the study. I'm sure you're probably starving. I can come back to this later if you want to..."

Severus held up a hand to stop her as he interrupted gently, "It's quite alright, Hermione. No need to stop on my account. I just wanted to inform you I have some business I needed to attend to in my office and will be held up in there for a few minutes. I just wanted to ensure you knew where I'd gone once you were finished." He returned her warm smile before he turned toward the door adjoining his office and their quarters.

"I should only be a few more minutes, and then we can have the elves deliver some dinner. I'm famished!" she called after him.

He hardly registered her response as he strode through the doorway, closing the heavy door behind him warding it against any noise and waiving his hand toward the castle's primary entrance to his office to prevent any of the professors or other students from entering and overhearing the forthcoming conversation. Stepping toward the wall of portraits, he signaled for the attention of the man who'd come the closest to acting as a father figure during Severus's time as a professor.

In the years following his death, Severus had gone through a gamut of emotions ranging from sadness, to rage, to acceptance at what Dumbledore had forced upon him at the end of the war. During Severus's year-long stint as headmaster during what would have been Hermione's final year as a student, he'd virtually ignored his presence in spite of the numerous times Dumbledore's portrait had attempted to engage him in conversation. When he'd re-assumed the position after Voldemort had been defeated, the first few months had punctuated by many arguments between himself and the portrait during which he'd mostly shouted at the older wizard while portrait-Albus had nodded and accepted the anger directed at him for how he'd burdened the younger man and taken advantage of his affection for a childhood friend.

Once Severus had thoroughly expressed his ire for everything that had occurred, he had been able to appreciate the experience and sage advice the former headmaster could offer, even if Severus did take it with a healthy dose of perspective about the way he'd manipulated those around him during his life. Although he was reluctant to share this new conundrum involving his personal life, he knew he could count on the portrait's confidence as all the portraits of Hogwarts's former headmasters were imbued with the assurance of secrecy within their magic, so Severus could be guaranteed the old man's confidence in this matter.

"Good Evening, Severus." Albus acknowledged. "It's good to see you my boy."

"You know I hate it when you do that Albus." Severus grumbled his displeasure at Dumbledore using any such terms of endearment when referring to him. He recognized this as a disarming tactic, and he hated feeling as though he were still being manipulated by the elder wizard.

"I know it's difficult for you to understand given everything that happened in the end, but I did always consider you to be like a son to me." Albus replied with a familiar twinkle in his eye.

Rolling his own eyes in annoyance, Severus proceeded to share the story of his entire relationship thus far with Hermione and what he had just discovered earlier that morning. Dumbledore listened quietly, occasionally nodding or stroking his beard in consideration of the situation as Severus spoke. Once it was clear Severus had finished his explanation, Albus asked simply, "And what is it that you want to do Severus? It's apparent you're very conflicted on how this information came to light, but I don't think anything will be resolved by continuing to fret about it."

"I just want to tell her!" Severus exclaimed as he paced back and forth distractedly in front of the portrait. "I just want her to know everything, but she doesn't even know there was anyone else except her, regardless of how everything has turned out now..."

He stopped suddenly as he heard a sharp intake of breath behind him and turned to see Hermione standing in the door connecting his office to their quarters, her eyes swimming with tears. Realizing she'd likely only heard a portion of their conversation and may have gotten the wrong idea, he froze momentarily attempting to figure how long she had been there and how he could even begin to explain everything.

As he scrambled to gather his thoughts, Hermione, unable to bear what she assumed would be excuses and misdirection in light of what she'd just heard, simply mumbled, "Of all the things I've ever worried about with everything that's happened between us, I never expected you to lie to me, Severus." Wiping away her tears, she backed into their quarters, closing the heavy door behind her.

Severus quickly rushed after her, and found that she hadn't only latched, but also bolted the door. "Shit..." he uttered as he ran a hand through his hair, attempting to figure out what he should do next.

"You'll have to tell her everything, my boy," Albus suggested, reminding Severus that he hadn't yet received any advice on the subject from his mentor, "but I would allow her some time to cool her head before you do." Severus nodded thoughtfully in agreement. It certainly looked like he would be spending the duration of the night in his office, and although he was distressed that Hermione had been so upset, he acknowledged the time to gather his own thoughts might be beneficial. Transfiguring his chair into a chaise lounge to substitute for a bed, Severus reclined distractedly as he plotted how he could best explain himself and this entire situation to his beloved.

* * *

A/N: You can always rely on Severus to fall back on overthinking everything and getting himself into trouble. As someone who faced my fair share of bullies in life, I know there are certain situations where I overthink the actions of those around me, assuming something may have been intentionally hurtful when it was merely an oversight or miscommunication. I think Severus would constantly battle with himself on this given the extent of the emotional and physical abuse he faced both at the hands of his family and his peers. Once his only 'safe space' (his friendship with Lily) was taken from him, I think he would struggle throughout life to not make assumptions regarding intent or view things from the perspective of a victim. I also think burying his emotions behind Occlumency shields would have further exacerbated the problem, but like to assume as he engaged in that practice less, he would become more mature and practiced at analyzing his emotions.

The big question now is that whether he'll be able to explain all of this to Hermione sooner rather than later and allow himself to be emotionally vulnerable about this with her once she understands the true context of the situation.

How's everyone holding up in quarantine? So far the hubby and I are both symptom-free, although we've heard about more suspected cases on his unit before he'd transitioned to working from home permanently for the foreseeable future. How's everyone doing being stuck with your partner/roomate/child(ren)/pets on a 24/7 basis? We're actually really happy to be home together, although we've spent a lot of time around one another when I was going through cancer treatments-it's really hard for us to get tired of each other. Our puppy is getting so much more spoiled though having us both here all the time!

I'm glad a lot of you seem to be enjoying the story so far and it seems to be taking your minds off all the craziness happening in the world right now. Please keep following/favorite-ing/reviewing the story. Even if I don't respond to them all, I do read every single one and hearing from you all gives me so much motivation to write that much more quickly! I hope you all and all of your families are staying safe and healthy during these trying times!

I'm hoping to have at least one more update this week (probably on Friday or Saturday) so keep your eyes peeled for another chapter around that time!


	13. Emotional Recovery

Hermione had finished her letters to some of her peers and mentors regarding the study when she looked back up at the clock. She realized it had been almost an hour since Severus had come and alerted her that he'd be in his office, and her grumbling stomach quickly alerted her to the need for a meal, and soon. Deciding she wouldn't benefit from pursuing her questions about the research trial at St. Mungos any further before acquiring some of the research publications she hoped to receive, she jotted a few additional questions in her notebook before extinguishing the lights in the room and headed toward Severus's office to inquire what he'd like her to order for supper.

She opened the door from their chambers quietly so as to not disturb or startle Severus if he was in the middle of something important, and quickly realized that he was conversing with Dumbledore's portrait as she heard her former headmaster ask, ""And what is it that you want to do Severus? It's apparent you're very conflicted on how this information came to light, but I don't think anything will be resolved by continuing to fret about it."

Momentarily puzzled "I just want to tell her!" she heard Severus nearly yell as he paced along the wall of portraits in his office. _Tell who, what? _Hermione thought as she attempted to process what he might discussing.

"I just want her to know everything, but she doesn't even know there was anyone else except her, regardless of how everything has turned out now..." Hermione gasped as tears instantly filled her eyes...she knew he must be talking about her, and from the sounds of it, Severus was struggling because he wasn't sure how to tell her there was another? Another woman?

If she'd actually taken the time to think through things rationally, she might have been able to remain calm and realize she didn't have enough context to fully understand what he was talking about in that moment. As it was, however, she'd had a very trying day between her appointments with Madam Pomfrey and St. Mungos, and she was already riding a constant emotional roller-coaster due to the hormones coursing through her as a result of the pregnancy. It was all too much, and she fixated on that one small sentence and the idea that Severus potentially had feelings for someone else...

"Of all the things I've ever worried about with everything that's happened between us, I never expected you to lie to me, Severus." She quickly gathered herself as much as she could in the midst of her sorrow, and she rushed back through the entrance to their shared chambers closing and locking the door behind her. She had to compose herself before she could even think about facing him. She rushed over to the floo and quickly called out 'Potter Residence' as she stepped through without thinking. She needed her friends right now, and she knew she could trust them to help her sift through everything that had happened and what she'd heard.

Entering Grimmauld place, Hermione was immediately taken aback by Harry and Ginny, clearly engaged in the beginnings of what Hermione was sure would have been an evening of amorous activities with Ginny straddling Harry who was seated in the weathered armchair beside the floo. Hearing the fire roar to life, Harry attempted to pull his hands out from under Ginny's blouse and fasten his own trousers as Hermione apologized profusely and attempted to shield her own eyes while her friends made themselves descent. "I told you we should have cut-off floo access..." muttered Ginny as she attempted to neaten her rather disheveled appearance.

The couples embarrassment quickly faded, however, when they saw Hermione's reddened eyes and her disheveled appearance. Ginny recovered first and leapt up from her position in Harry's lap, "Hermione? What on earth is wrong? Has something happened with Severus, or the baby?"

Hermione, who had begun crying in earnest again, nodded unconvincingly as she answered, "In a manner of speaking...I'm so sorry I interrupted you both. I can come back later..."

"Don't even think about it..." said Harry, now rising from the chair himself. "Why don't I make us some tea and you can tell us what happened.

The three of them headed into the kitchen, and after Harry had assembled tea and a few snacks while Ginny attempted to comfort Hermione, she explained what she'd heard Severus telling Dumbledore when she'd entered his office."

"I just can't believe he wouldn't be honest with me about something like this. I've been pouring my heart out to him for months! I wanted him to be the baby's father for Merlin's sake!" she said, sobbing in earnest again.

Ginny rubbed Hermione's back soothingly as Harry considered the entire situation again. He wouldn't exactly consider himself a _friend_ of Severus's, at least not yet, but he'd certainly grown to know much more of the man in the years following the war, and Severus had shared with Harry many memories and trinkets from his childhood friendship with Lily. He could understand why what he'd said would upset Hermione, but something wasn't adding up for Hermione's best friend. From what he knew of the older man, Severus was incredibly loyal and protective, and didn't seem the type to be engaging in another dalliance while professing his love for Hermione.

"Hermione," Harry started carefully, "Is it possible we're missing part of the story here? This all just seems so out of character for Snape..."

"Wha-wh-at do you mean?" Hermione sniffed.

"The only other person I've ever known Severus to love was my mother..." Harry explained, "and he carried that torch and suffered some truly horrific events as a spy for the better part of two decades after her death. Do you really think he's capable of developing those feelings with you if he's carrying on with another woman?" Harry asked.

Hermione considered this for a moment. She knew Harry had a point. Severus wasn't one to share affection so freely, and if he had professed his love for her, it did seem highly unlikely that there was someone else he was seeing at the same time. "But what could he have meant if he wasn't talking about another woman?" Hermione asked out loud as she tried to realign her thoughts more logically in light of the evidence.

"I don't know sweetie." Ginny answered. "But you'll never find out if you don't give him a chance to explain. I think Harry's right, but why don't you stay here with us tonight while you think things through?"

Hermione nodded, realizing time away from the situation would be good to cool her head and try to be more logical rather than emotional about everything she'd heard. "Thank you..." she sniffed accepting a pastry from Harry before continuing, "some days I don't know what I'd do without you guys." she finished, the latter part of her sentence muffled as she'd taken a bite in her famished state and proceeded to speak through a mouthful of tart.

"You're welcome...Ronald." Ginny teased as Hermione continued her voracious eating in a manner reminiscent of youngest male Weasley, causing the three of them to laugh heartily. Deciding to change the subject, Ginny asked, "did Madam Pomfrey have any new advice after her examination of you earlier today?"

Swallowing her current bite, Hermione explained, "unfortunately she feels it's time to pursue specialist options to recover my memories. She referred me to a healer at St. Mungo's who has been conducting a trial aimed at patients suffering memory loss." she took a moment to explain to them what she knew of the trial so far and her hesitations about participating. "I don't particularly relish the idea of someone poking around in my memories." she explained to the couple, "but as I did some experimentation in this space at the end of my mastery in hopes I could retrieve my parents memory, so I've written to some of my colleagues to find out more about the findings that have been published so far."

"Hermione, I know this option probably hadn't crossed your mind with everything happening today, but Severus is the world's best living legilimens...had you considered asking him to brew the potion and attempt to retrieve your memories?"

Hermione nearly dropped her mug in surprise. She couldn't believe she hadn't considered this as an option, before the events of this evening had occurred between the two of them. "I hadn't even thought about it!" Hermione exclaimed honestly. She knew this could go a long way to soothe her anxieties about the process of retrieving the rest of her memories as her misgivings were mostly related to having a stranger poking around in her mind.

The longer she considered it, the more she realized that Severus skills in legilimency might not only be helpful if she elected to move forward with St. Mungos, but he might also be the partner she needed to examine her own research on the reversal of memory charms...perhaps potions was an area she hadn't considered enough in her initial pursuit of the idea...

Shaking her head to bring her back into the present, she knew she shouldn't get too far ahead of herself before she hoped this might be a possibility. Of course she was excited by the prospect that there might still be hope to restore her parents memory so the baby could have a relationship with his or her grandparents. As stimulating as the idea was, she still needed to figure out what Severus had meant by wanting to tell her everything, and whether the pair could move forward as a couple before she worried about whether he'd want to partner with her on her lapsed research.

Almost as if Harry could hear Hermione's inner monologue, he reached across the table and reassuringly grasped her hand. "Hermione, everything will work out. I don't know how I know, but I just do." he explained.

The three of them talked for another hour, and Hermione obtained several recommendations of healers Harry and Ginny had interacted with prior to Jamie's arrival. As the conversation lagged on, Hermione yawned and non-verbally cast a tempus to check the time. It was nearing midnight, and between the late hour and the events of the day, she was completely exhausted.

She rose from the table and thanked each of her friends, hugging them gratefully before she ascended to the guest bedroom she frequented when she visited the couple. She laid on the bed for some time as she stared at the ceiling and rubbed her distended belly absentmindedly. As she drifted off, she resolved to allow Severus to explain what had happened the day before, and she swore to herself she would wait until she understood fully what he had been discussing with Dumbledore before she made any more assumptions.

... ... ... ...

The following morning, Hermione rose feeling more emotionally balanced than she had the day prior. She bid farewell to her two friends as well as baby Jamie who had been asleep when she arrived at Grimmauld place the night before, but now sat babbling in his highchair as he smeared pieces of banana across the attached tray.

She arrived back at Hogwarts just after 8 in the morning, and she suspected Severus would be awake, if he had even slept at all the night prior. She tentatively unlocked the door to his office, and took a few deep, grounding breaths before she opened it and strode through.

Severus was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. Although his eyes were closed, she immediately noticed the dark circles which usually appeared whenever he hadn't slept enough the night before. Her heart clenched at the thought she'd caused him any pain, especially now that she'd considered the possibility that she'd overreacted before fully understanding the situation, but she'd reserve any apologies until she'd heard his explanation for the conversation she'd overheard. Knocking quietly on the door to alert him to her presence, Severus's head shot up and she was immediately met with a pained, albeit relieved expression as he rose from his desk and crossed the room to stand before her.

"Hermione..." he breathed in relief at her presence in his office as he took in her similarly haggard appearance. "Please, love...I don't know how much you heard, but let me explain. I think you may have gotten the wrong idea from what you overheard last night." he implored, taking her hands in his own.

She nodded in assent before answering, "I didn't want to be alone last night, but I was too emotional to try to put the pieces together..." she started as she took in the puzzled expression on his face before she elaborated. "...so I went to see Harry and Ginny who made me see I might have jumped to a conclusion too hastily. I warn you though, Severus, now is not the time to mislead me about anything you might have discussed with that old coot." she said exasperatedly, gesturing weakly toward Dumbledore's portrait.

Severus smirked slightly at her reference to Dumbledore before he sobered himself and nodded. "Of course, Hermione. I have every intention of explaining everything, but I think we should get comfortable and order some breakfast first...this might take awhile." He gestured for her to follow him back into their quarters, and once they had settled into the sofa each with a plate of that morning's breakfast which has been brought to them from the Great Hall by one of the elves, Severus began to share everything he'd discovered with Hermione.

"This is difficult to explain because your memories from the beginning of term still haven't returned, but when you told me about the baby, you explained that there had been someone else, another man that you'd been with before the start of term, but it had only been one night and you had no way of identifying him to determine the baby's paternity."

Hermione nodded. Although she couldn't remember the particular night she told him about, she did remember the night she had shared the news with him, and recalled the explanation and details she shared with him when she informed him about the baby.

Severus elaborated, "Well, I know at the time you'd expected me to be hurt by the admission that there had been someone else before term, but I wasn't because I thought that would be rather hypocritical of me." Hermione cocked her head in puzzlement before he continued. "I thought it would be hypocritical because I had engaged in my own short-lived romantic encounter prior to the start of term as well, which I never pursued further once you and I began to become closer..." he said, somewhat ashamedly.

Hermione instantly felt awful she had reacted so terribly. This must have been what he meant when he said she hadn't known about anyone else, and of course she wouldn't judge him for his actions before they'd begun seeing one another. "Gods, Severus...I'm so sorry...I could have...I never should have assumed..." she fumbled to find the right response as tears of guilt welled in her eyes. "I never should have doubted you, Severus."

He shook his head. "There's more Hermione. I never thought back on that night on because you and I had been so happy together. Even after you told me the news about the baby, I was so caught up in everything we were attempting to figure out, I hadn't looked back...that is until we went to St. Mungo's yesterday."

Now Hermione was thoroughly confused. Had he seen the woman when they'd gone to the hospital? Was she one of the mediwitches who was treating her? Or one of the midwitches that might be assisting in her prenatal care? Had this made him reconsider his relationship with her? Imploring him to explain further she asked, "Why didn't you tell me yesterday? Are you reconsidering everything the two of us..."

He cut her off, moving closer to her on the sofa and grasping both hands in his pleadingly. "Never, Hermione." he said painfully. "I've never once doubted my love for you..." he continued, "but I do need to explain what happened yesterday." He sighed before he continued, "On the night I met the woman to which I'm referring, Minerva had convinced me to go to a club in London to blow off some steam as she put it. I was only willing to do so under the disguise of your glamour charm, Hermione. It seems the witch I met that night had similarly disguised herself, and when I used the glamour on both of us yesterday before leaving for St. Mungos, I realized I recognized the woman at my side was someone I'd met before..." he trailed off, his dark eyes imploring she understand what he was attempting to tell her.

Hermione took all of this in and sat silently for a moment, completely stunned at his revelation. "So that means..." she started, lowering her hand tentatively to her swollen abdomen, staring at him in shock.

"Unless you made it a habit of engaging in one-night-stands..." knowing that she was not that type, he chuckled trying to lighten the mood as she swatted his arm in response. "I know love...It seems this was an out-of-character moment for both of us. But yes, Hermione...it appears your wish that I was the biological father of your child was rooted in reality. Perhaps your subconscious put the pieces together before either of us did, but now I understand why I was so captivated that night, love. I just couldn't resist the witch who was made for me in every way, even if her true identity was unknown to me at the time." He looked at her tentatively, willing her to be as happy about the news as he'd found himself the more he'd considered the situation after she'd left the previous evening.

Still wide-eyed in shock, Hermione attempted to work through all the pieces on her own. She wished she could remember that particular night herself, and that she could relate to the experience he'd must have had as he put the pieces together the day prior. She did have one lingering question, however, and tentatively asked, "but Severus, why didn't you explain all of this yesterday?"

He sighed as he blushed and shook his head in embarrassment. "I should have, Hermione. I shouldn't have kept it to myself, but I was so confused by what I was seeing, and then I couldn't handle the myriad of emotions I was experiencing. Of course I was thrilled that you were carrying my child, but I was ashamed of myself for not taking the proper precautions that night no matter how we currently feel about the aftermath, and angry with myself I hadn't recognized what might have happened earlier when you told me about the baby." He sighed as he linked his fingers between her own and looked at her imploringly, "I almost threw everything away...a chance at happiness with you and a babe of our own because I was hung up on the idea that the child wasn't mine, and I can't believe I nearly missed the chance to share all of this with you because I was so self-conscious about being a father to a baby that wasn't mine and I didn't see the evidence practically screaming that there was a reason I was so drawn to you, and you wanted to share this so badly with me..."

Hermione nodded slowly, understanding how torn he must have felt between the joy of the moment and the regret that they hadn't pieced everything together sooner. "I'm sorry I doubted you Severus. I'm struggling to understand everything myself, even when I've had you to guide me through what you realized in a heartbeat yesterday. If how I handled everything is too much...if this makes you think differently..."

"About us?" Severus interrupted, taken aback that she would worry he would feel differently, especially now that he knew it was _his_ child she was carrying. He pulled her to him swiftly and lowered his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss. Breaking apart momentarily, he rested his forehead against hers as he gently wiped away the tears that had started freely flowing down her face and reassured her lovingly, "Don't doubt how much I care for you, Hermione. My anger is with myself, never with you." he added as he lowered his lips to hers again.

Wrapping her arms around his neck Hermione deepened the kiss as she began to feel overwhelmed with joy that the baby was Severus's. There was still so much to figure out, so much to decide about their future together including whether they would pursue the trial at St. Mungo's and hopefully recover her memories, but all she could think about in that moment was the pure elation she felt that her passion for the man holding her in his arms was what led to the creation of the life she carried inside her. Pulling away from him momentarily she sighed, "Severus, I feel like I might burst with happiness. This all feels so surreal."

"I know, love. I've found myself feeling that way since I realized..." he drew a stuttering breath, clearly attempting to control his emotional reaction and failing to do so. He placed a hand over the swell of their baby as his eyes welled with tears of happiness. "After all the wrong I've done in my life, I can't believe..."he choked up, unable to finish.

"I know, my love, this is all so unbelievable, but you deserve every bit of that happiness, Severus." Hermione smiled as she brushed a tear from his cheek and drew him in for another tender kiss. She curled up into his side as he wrapped his arm around her waist and stroked her belly lovingly as he placed a kiss atop her head. They knew they still had much to discuss, but for now, they were content to simply sit and appreciate the happiness of all they had discovered.

* * *

A/N: How's everybody feeling? Whew...that was a fun ride wasn't it?! So now our lovebirds are finally on the same page and can tackle some of the other challenges such as attempting to restore Hermione's memories and possibly collaborate on research to do the same for her parents! We're not done yet, and there's still much more to come in this story! I love seeing your reviews/favorites/follows-I know I've said it before, but they keep me extremely motivated to write more quickly. As long as my workload stays relatively consistent, I'm hoping to continue updating twice weekly until this is finished!

I hope this is a happy surprise that I'm getting this next chapter (and a slightly longer one at that!) to you all a little earlier than I expected! I'm planning to have the next chapter to you all sometime early next week, depending on how much writing I'm able to get done during our virtual Easter celebrations. Are any of the rest of you doing anything interesting to try to celebrate? We're planning to virtually attend my collegiate chapel's online service on Sunday morning as well as do a family Easter Dinner on Zoom with my parents and my sister and her husband on Sunday night.

I hope everyone is continuing to stay healthy and relatively sane! Both hubby and I are still symptom-free and we're almost two weeks removed from when he was exposed so fingers crossed we get through the next few days so we can breathe a sigh of relief!


	14. A Proposition for Severus

Hermione and Severus spent much of the next several days preparing for the students to return from the winter holiday the following week. Despite sharing their living quarters, neither of them felt they saw as much of each other as they would have liked as Severus was spending his days in his office holding meetings with each of the professors to review their spring curricula and also the board of governors. Hermione spent her days in the couple's private library, compiling a variety of engaging lessons for the students in addition to working on a proposal for integrated coursework where the upper levels would be expected to propose and complete a project utilizing what they had learned from multiple disciplines of study.

She knew this would be a lofty undertaking, particularly with the baby expected to arrive near the end of the school year (hopefully afterward if luck was on her side), but Hermione was nothing if not ambitious and thought the proposal would be well received by Severus and the other professors as it was more reflective of the type of work the students would undertake in their professional careers. She had a couple days left before her scheduled curriculum discussion with Severus as he had 'saved the best for last' according to him. She hoped he would be as excited as she was by the prospect of encouraging the students to think differently about the skills they were learning in the classroom.

After their work each day was completed, Severus would usually join Hermione in their library where the two would spend the evening curled up in front of the fire, sometimes reading or engaged in a chess match, but other nights were just spent enjoying each others company and getting lost in thought as they succumbed to the sense of comfort they felt in one another's arms. It was on one of these nights where Hermione decided to broach the subject of the St. Mungo's trial with Severus. She hoped he would be receptive to the idea of retrieving Hermione's trapped memories himself as the idea of allowing a complete stranger to traipse about in her mind was extremely unsettling to the younger witch.

"Severus?" she asked cautiously, "How much were you able to understand of the process the healers would undertake to assist me in regaining my remaining memories?"

"The process seemed straight forward enough." he responded casually, hoping to reassure her that the risks involved sounded relatively minimal. "In many ways it sounds like a reversal of the process to teach someone to become an occlumens. Instead of assisting someone in erecting mental barriers to protect against penetration of the mind, the potion would allow you to be more receptive to the guidance provided by the legilimens to lower your shields and allow the memories to flow through freely." he explained thoughtfully.

"How difficult do you think it would be for a legilimens to do this?" asked Hermione, adjusting her position in her chair to face him directly.

"It's hard to say," acknowledged Severus as he attempted to consider the various factors which could potentially complicate the process. "It would be largely determinant on how deeply the memories are buried and how strong your shields are surrounding them. Even though a potion would aide in lowering those barriers, there's no guarantee it would remove them entirely."

"Would it be risky for the legilimens if my shields weren't able to be lowered entirely?"

"Potentially." said Severus honestly. "But a skilled legilimens would recognize the warning signs that they were in danger of being forcefully cast from your mind and should have plenty of time to retreat if necessary. It would make it more challenging to recover those memories if the potion didn't lower your shields enough to allow enough access to the healer performing the legilimency."

Hermione sat quietly for a moment, deep in thought. She still felt strongly that she wanted Severus to be the one to attempt to assist, but she didn't want to risk any injury to him should the potion be less effective than was desirable. Ultimately she would leave it to his judgment. Of course she wanted her memories to return, but not at the cost of a stranger doing Godric knows what while mucking about inside her head, and not at the cost of any suffering that would be inflicted on Severus if he elected to help.

"Severus, I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few days, and if I'm going to go through with the trial St. Mungo's is offering, I want you to be the one to attempt to retrieve my memories."

Severus jerked to face her abruptly as he realized what she was asking. Surely she wouldn't rather have him attempt to assist when there was an entire team at St. Mungos trained to guide her through the recovery process. There was no telling _if _he was even capable of helping her to retrieve him, let alone whether he _should _to assist given all the things he would potentially see within her mind as a part of the process. Surely there were things she wouldn't tell him, things she wouldn't want him to know. Why on earth would she ask him to be the one to go and retrieve those memories knowing full-well that he was likely to see some things in her mind that were embarrassing and possibly even traumatizing to her.

"Hermione..." he started, unsure how to appropriately reflect this sentiment to the witch, "I'm not sure if that's the best idea. What if I saw something? Something you didn't want me to know about? Your previous boyfriends perhaps or maybe one of the many incidents where your little triad got into mischief like stealing from my stores or setting my robes on fire?" he asked jokingly, attempting to keep the conversation light.

"I didn't realize you knew about that..." responded Hermione, blushing deeply as she glanced down at your hands. "I suppose I should apologize..."

Severus chuckled momentarily before sobering and continuing, "Don't fret, love...I've known for years and if I'm being honest, it was an impressive bit of magic from a first year." He kissed her head as she buried her head against his chest in embarrassment and pulled the rest of her closer to him. "All kidding aside, I don't know that giving me full access to your thoughts and memories would be the best idea. I wouldn't want to compromise your privacy."

"Severus...there's nothing in the world, nothing in my history and certainly nothing in my thoughts I wouldn't share with you. Well, perhaps not what I got you for your birthday..." she said giggling as it was Severus's turn to blush. He hadn't even told the witch his birthday was approaching let alone expected her to get him anything. He decided he would worry about the implications of that sentence later as Hermione continued, "...even in that case, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you accidentally saw. You shouldn't worry, Severus, there truly isn't anything I feel the need to keep from you."

Severus, however, was far from un-bothered. Although his legilimency skills were legendary, he knew there was always the possibility when entering someone's mind that he could scramble things beyond repair. No matter how confident he was in his abilities, he wouldn't be able to bear it if something happened to Hermione in the process and he were the one that was responsible. "Hermione...as much as I appreciate your confidence in me, I couldn't live with myself if I were the cause of any...unforeseen reactions. I haven't trained on the protocols on this particular study, and I wouldn't want to compromise any ability for those memories to be retrieved should I prove unsuccessful."

"Severus, if you aren't going to be the one to do it, I won't participate in the study."

Severus gasped as he pulled away from her suddenly. "What do you mean you won't participate?" he asked through gritted teeth as he attempted to control his anger. He couldn't believe she wouldn't take any opportunity to recover all of those months she couldn't recall. If nothing else, he thought she's surely want to participate if only to recover the first night they'd been together and their child was conceived.

"I mean exactly what I said, Severus. I don't want some complete stranger doing Salazar knows what in my brain while I'm powerless to stop them. I trust you more than anyone else on earth, and I know you wouldn't do anything unnecessarily risky or go intentionally looking for embarrassing or potentially harmful memories while you're in my mind. I don't know that I could say the same for anyone else, even if they are a trained medical professional. If they thought they could sell the story given the parties involved..." she trailed off here and shivered involuntarily. The risk that someone would go looking for information to harm herself or those she loved was too overwhelming for her, and that risk wasn't worth the possible reward in this scenario; at least it wasn't in her eyes.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why on earth would you not allow the healers to do their job?! You would be protected by about a million clauses St. Mungo's has in their employment contracts against that sort of thing. Hell, given who we both are we could probably request they perform a wand oath if you're really that concerned. There is no reason you shouldn't do this using one of the healers who has been trained on and is working with the study!" he exclaimed exasperatedly.

"No, Severus." said Hermione more forcefully, " even the idea of having a stranger inside my head, seeing some of my worst...even some of my best memories is too much for me to bear. I won't do it unless you are willing to be the one to go in after I've taken the potion."

"Do you hear how ridiculous this sounds, Hermione? I didn't create the potion, I know next to nothing about the research protocols, and you want me to fly in blindly and do this simply because you believe me to be a good legilimens?! It's not rational!"

Hermione's face contorted in anger as she stood up from the couch and crossed the room. Turning back toward Severus, she raged, "Don't you dare say I'm irrational, Severus Snape. You've been through first-hand the horrors I experienced during the war. You know what happened to me at Malfoy Manor and how difficult it has been for me to try to move past it mentally. How can I be sure someone won't go in and undo all the work I've done to keep the nightmares at bay?! Why would I want someone I don't know to feel everything I felt when I obliviated my own parents to save their lives?!"

Severus also stood and crossed the room to stand in front of her, his eyes growing darker with each passing minute. "And you think I..." he started, gesturing irately toward himself, "want to experience the pain and suffering of the woman I love?" he growled. "You think I want to see the mother of my child tortured at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange while I'm powerless to do anything to change it? You think I want to take the risk that if I don't do everything perfectly that you could have to face those demons or new ones all over again?! Forget it Hermione...I will NOT do it!" He crossed the room toward the door turning back once more to add, "and I can't believe you would willingly sacrifice those memories, particularly the night our _child _was conceived if I refuse." Shaking with anger, he left the library, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione curled up into a ball on the sofa, silent tears streaming down her face. She was hurt by his vehement refusal, but she couldn't deny he had a point. She would struggle immensely having to experience the true horrors he had during both of the wars from his perspective. Even now, the idea that he'd endured unending torture and was nearly killed by that great bloody snake was almost too much for her to manage. She hated that he had been in any pain, and she could understand why he would feel similarly about what she had experienced.

Despite her empathy regarding his reaction, she still couldn't bring herself to agree to allow a complete stranger into her mind unrestrained. She knew it hurt him that she couldn't remember that night, particularly now that they knew how important it was in both of their lives. She desperately wanted to remember everything she'd seen, heard, and felt now that she knew the truth and could look back on it with a fresh perspective.

Nearly a quarter of an hour passed as Hermione stopped crying and gradually slowed her breathing as she laid back on the sofa, absentmindedly rubbing her swollen belly and attempted to puzzle out what she should do next. As she considered her options, she was startled suddenly when she felt what she would describe were fluttering wings coming from within her and realized that she was experiencing the baby kicking for the first time.

A huge smile erupted on her face; regardless how trying her argument with Severus had been, nothing could rob her of the happiness of that moment. "Severus!" she shouted, knowing he would hear her cries given the size of their quarters. Despite their argument, she wanted him to share this moment with her and would regret it if she kept it from him due to his anger.

The door burst open as Severus ran in, looking around wildly, his eyes wide with panic and concern. Seeing her position on the couch, he rushed over to her and asked, "Hermione? What is it? Is something wrong with the baby?"

She shook he head and grabbed one of his hands to position it over her belly. "I'm fine, Severus. We both are. The baby kicked!" she exclaimed in excitement.

Severus's eyes grew wide as he attempted to comprehend what she was telling him. "Kicked?" he asked breathlessly in awe as he splayed his fingers wide over her belly, desperately trying to feel what Hermione had just experienced.

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes once again as she experienced the fluttering sensation and gently moved Severus's hand closer to the spot where she'd felt the movement.

The both stilled for a moment, and Severus had nearly resigned himself that the moment was too small for him to feel yet when suddenly, he felt the tiniest pressure against one of his fingers and looked back at Hermione, grinning like a loon as tears began to swim in his eyes as well. "Oh, Hermione." he sighed, pulling her closer as he continued to rest his hand on the swell of their child.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Hermione was silent, content to remain in his arms and savor the moment. Finally, she whispered, "I'm sorry I upset you earlier, Severus. I understand your reservations about my asking you to undertake the procedure...it would be just as difficult for me to witness your suffering during the war. But do you understand why it would be so difficult for me to have a complete stranger see those things?"

He pulled away from her and sighed as he kept one hand positioned over their baby and ran the long fingers of the other through his hair. "I suppose I do, love. Someone who didn't experience it wouldn't understand. But where does this leave us?"

"I don't know, Severus, but will you please think about it? It isn't that I don't want to remember those things. Remembering that night together is the memory I want to recover most, but not at the cost of a complete stranger potentially seeing every horror I faced during the war. There's something else I hadn't shared yet too..." she started, wondering how he would receive the second part of her wondering about the study. "I'd been working to develop a counter-charm to attempt to recover my parents memories from when I obliviated them during the war. I hit a snag in the research at the end of my mastery and never progressed to the point where anything I was working on seemed promising, but the use of a potion in this study made me wonder whether that was a hypothesis that I should explore in conjunction with my charm work. I had hoped that if this proved to be successful and you'd experienced it within this study, you might be able to help me extrapolate the theory and apply some of the concepts with memories that had been forcibly removed rather than damaged or hidden."

He was quiet for a moment while he thought about it. It would be a long-shot to be certain and there was no guarantee that applying this theory in a charms context would make a difference, but if they could find a solution to retrieve removed memories, the potential applications of that science would be amazing. Not to mention he could give Hermione the one thing she knew she wanted above almost anything else in life: a relationship with her parents again. He continued to ponder it, and as he did, he felt the gentle pressure against his hand again. He knew if it came down to it, he would do anything this woman asked of him. He'd do anything to make life better for her and their child, but he wanted to think on it for a few days and do more research to see if any other alternatives were possible. " I will consider it, Hermione." he said gently, knowing he would need more time to do some more research and consider the options.

Hermione leaned toward him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. What started off as a relatively innocent gesture became instantly more heated as she swiped her tongue along his bottom lip, requesting entrance to his mouth. He willingly obliged as he pulled her closer and guided her legs to either side of his lap with her seated firmly on his growing erection and his hands splayed on her back and her bum. Lifting her swiftly into his arms, he carried her into their bedroom and made quick work of both of their clothes.

Most of their couplings thus far had been extremely sensuous and they'd taken their time pleasuring one another as things led up to the 'main event'. Now, however, both were feeling a desperation that had Hermione straddling Severus almost immediately as she moaned while he thrust deep inside her. Later he'd chuckle about how different their 'make-up sex' had been, but for now he couldn't think of anything but Hermione's slick tightness enclosed around him as he did everything he could to hold on long enough to bring her to completion as well.

An hour later, as they laid together in a post-bliss haze, he pulled her tight to him and kissed her head as he murmured, "I should have said this earlier, but I'm sorry too. I understand why it would be difficult to have someone you don't trust infiltrate your mind, even if their intentions are honorable. I still want to explore other alternatives, but I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Hermione sighed as she snuggled more closely into his chest and said sleepily, "S'ok Severus...I love you." she mumbled as she drifted off to sleep. As Severus started to drift off himself, he was grateful his anger hadn't resulted in another catastrophic end to his relationship with the woman he loved, and he was reassured that Hermione knew him well enough to understand the reasons for his underlying anger. If only he could find another option which would allow her to recover her memories more safely. He drifted off considering the efficacy of a variety of ingredients that might bring him closer to his goal.

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A/N: I know I'm getting this out a couple days later than I planned and I'm so sorry! This weekend got away from me a little bit as we discovered a new hilarious game online that we played with my sister and her husband as well as some other friends! If you haven't played Tee K.O. you should go check it out because it's hilarious. The company that makes it actually has a ton of really fun games that are pretty easy to play remotely if you're struggling with feeling isolated during these tough times. I continue to hope every single one of you is staying healthy and safe as we continue to navigate these crazy times.

Parts of both Severus and Hermione's emotions in this chapter were a reflection on some of the conversations my husband and I have had in the aftermath of my cancer treatments. He was actually diagnosed with PTSD as a result of simply having to watch me go through some pretty awful experiences after surgery and during treatment (I'll spare you all the details), and even though I knew it had been hard for him to watch me suffer, I didn't realize how difficult it had truly been for him until he had that conversation with his doctor and started seeing a therapist. He's told me many times he wished he could go through everything I experienced for me and that watching me suffer was akin to torture for him. Although Severus and Hermione would have some suffering in common as a result of their experiences during the war, I think they would struggle to come to terms with how much the other went through, especially experiencing those moments in a raw way which would be brought out through legilimency. What do you all think?

I cannot say thank you enough for each and every favorite/follow/review. I read and consider every single one of them, and they're definitely motivation to keep me on track and update as often as I can. Please keep them coming! I appreciate any and all feedback, especially since I'm a pretty new writer (I haven't even been writing a year at this point!). I don't have a beta either so it's incredibly helpful to hear from all of you! All of my other stories are completed, so if you need something to help make the wait for my next update easier, I'd love it if you'd go check them out!


	15. A Compromise

Severus sat at his desk with his head in his hands. The students were due to return the following Monday, and he'd been spending the afternoon meeting with the last few professors, with the exception of Hermione who would meet with him later that day, remaining on his list to discuss curriculum planning for the remainder of the year. In between meetings he had been reviewing his old potions journals for anything that might help him find a better solution to Hermione's unresolved memory loss. He was simultaneously encouraged and dismayed by the notes from his former research projects he'd undertaken as a professor. He'd been able to identify several promising leads toward developing a potion that combined with Hermione's charm-work might be useful in assisting to restore her parents' removed memories, and he was excited by the prospect of beginning to research the process more thoroughly with her.

Despite his success on that front, he hadn't unearthed anything yet that he felt would make any headway toward making Hermione feel more comfortable moving forward with the trial. It hadn't stopped him from brainstorming potential compromises as he still felt rather strongly that he shouldn't be the one to conduct a highly experimental procedure on the woman with whom he intended to share the remainder of his days. Originally he had considered whether the potion could be altered to block the researcher performing the legilimency from straying within the drinker's mind. The more he considered this, however, he came to realize such properties would also decrease the likelihood of success as changing the potion to allow for such restrictions would likely inhibit its ability to fully lower the shields of the patient.

He'd spend the remainder of his time, therefore, attempting to find an alternative arrangement that would put Hermione at ease with having another researcher conduct the trial. He'd mentioned the possibility of a wand oath during their original argument, but after talking with his solicitor about the possibility of convincing the administration at St. Mungo's to allow it, it sounded as though they could wind up in lengthy negotiations which could further detract from the probability of success due to the lapsed time between Hermione's accident and initiating the recovery process. The same was most certainly true about demanding the use of Veritaserum to gauge any ill-intent by the researcher who would conduct the legilimency.

The only promising idea he'd had thus far was to proposition the research team to allow him to lend his expertise and experience as both a world-renowned potions master and legilimens to the experiment in the hopes that he could jointly participate in Hermione's procedure with one of the lead investigators with the dual purpose of preventing any untoward wanderings within her mind and to have another legilimens demonstrate the protocols so he could assist in future experimentation. The idea held reasonable merit since he could employ his own occlumency shields while working in tandem with the primary investigator which would offer him some protection against any of Hermione's more traumatic memories that could be encountered during the process; something that would be impossible working alone. Although it wouldn't completely prevent him from witnessing them, it would offer him some immunity from the emotional toll of seeing Hermione suffer as he knew she had during the war.

Rubbing his temples with his dexterous fingers, he considered whether the idea would be palatable to Hermione. It wouldn't completely prevent a scenario where certain memories of hers wouldn't become public if they happened to be encountered during the experiment and an errant researcher broke protocol to go to the press, but it would go a long way to prevent someone from having free-reign to seek out such memories apart from what was necessary for the investigation. One other benefit he thought might be appealing to Hermione was that his involvement with the research might allow him to apply some of the techniques and findings to what he hoped he and Hermione might attempt to help her parents. He knew that alone would make the idea appeal more to Hermione, but questioned whether it would seem too manipulative or whether she would perceive it to be_ too Slytherin_ of him to use it to sway her to go through with the trial.

The internal debate had Severus lost in thought for much of the afternoon as he fought with himself about whether he should even suggest the idea to Hermione. The more he considered her perspective, he understood why she felt so strongly about her original position, but despite his newfound empathy for her concerns, he still somewhat-selfishly wanted her to remember that first night together. Try as he may, he was struggling to fully understand _why _her memory of that night was so important to him. Perhaps he was still fearful that if she remembered, it would somehow change what she felt about their relationship. Not that anything _bad _had necessarily come from that encounter, well...aside from the obvious unplanned pregnancy, but he knew both their concerns about the baby had been allayed knowing how strongly they felt for one another, particularly after they'd learned they had both contributed to the baby's conception.

Maybe it was just that he felt that without her memories, she wasn't in possession of all the 'facts' pertaining to their true history with one another, and thus he couldn't fully convince himself that there wasn't something she would remember that would somehow change what she felt for him. As he considered this, he absentmindedly reached into the inner pocket of his frock coat and withdrew the contents for the hundredth time since he'd retrieved it from his Gringotts vault: the engagement ring which had been the sole possession he'd inherited from his mother.

Of course one could argue that the house at Spinner's End had also been an inheritance from her, but Severus didn't consider it so as the property had been originally purchased solely in his abusive father's name and quite frankly he despised the place. He'd thought of selling it countless times over the years, but the timing never seemed right. He had wanted to revisit the subject with Hermione's input as he thought she might appreciate acquiring a place away from the castle to raise their child. Finally glancing at the ring he fiddled between his fingers, he knew he wanted to delay that discussion until after he'd asked for her hand in marriage.

Running his fingers over the band he had polished manually earlier in the week, he debated whether he could bring himself to risk asking her before he'd revisited their conversation about her participation in the St. Mungo's trial. A resounding click of the latch on the door between his office and their quarters startled him out of his thoughts and he quickly stowed the ring back in the pocket from which it had been retrieved, the one he'd chosen subconsciously and was closest to his heart.

He stood as Hermione bustled in, her arms full of books and parchment and a quill deposited carelessly in her plaited hair which jostled slightly as she crossed the room to set her load upon his desk and seat herself in the chair opposite him, grinning as he sat down again. "Should you really be carrying around that many books in your condition, love?" He asked her, raising one eyebrow, although it lacked his usual sardonic flair.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly Severus, I am perfectly capable of carrying a few books from our chambers to your office. There's no reason to worry yourself."

"If it's all the same to you, my dear, I'd prefer to have that confirmed by the healers at St. Mungo's at your appointment..." he replied as he folded his hands in front of him on his desk, unable to fully mask the concern in his voice. She had scheduled her first appointment with the midwife recommended by Harry and Ginny for the following week during one of her afternoons without classes to teach. Severus was planning to accompany her, and while they were both excited to learn the gender of their little one and hear how everything was progressing, Severus knew his nervousness that something could be amiss wouldn't be alleviated until it was confirmed by the healer that all was well.

Hermione reached out and placed a hand on top of his. "I promise I will be careful, Severus. You know I wouldn't take any unnecessary risks when it comes to you or our baby." She smiled reassuringly and he relaxed almost imperceptibly. Of course he knew this instinctively, but the reassurance from her was appreciated.

Turning his attention to the intended conversation about her lesson plans for the remainder of the year he asked, "Hermione I know Filius left you with a wealth of information regarding how he structured the charms curriculum during his tenure, but I presume by the amount of material you've brought, you intend to propose a change?"

"Yes and no." she started to explain. "The curriculum for the younger years is nearly perfect. Other than rearranging the schedule slightly to allow for more revising at the end of term in case the baby comes early, I don't plan to make any changes with the exception of the NEWT level students."

As the two of them shared the library within their quarters, Severus had observed from the materials scattered across her preferred chair nightly that she intended to have the students do some cross-disciplinary studies with the assistance of some of the other professors, but Hermione had been tight-lipped on the details, insisting she wanted to iron out all the wrinkles before she presented him with the idea.

Given the brightness of her eyes as she spoke, he assumed she'd perfected her proposal and he was struck by how beautiful he found her in that moment as she started to explain the details of the research projects she proposed the students would begin during the second half of year 6 which would culminate in a formal presentation of their findings at the end of their final year. Of course she had tweaked the program for those who were already 7th years and obviously hadn't begun a project of this scope a year prior, and Severus was impressed by her detailed research into the career success of students post-graduation at some of the other magical schools around the world where they had already started similar programs.

He waited patiently while she finished her presentation, nodding periodically to encourage her as she spoke. Once she'd laid out the entirety of her proposal, he shared his thoughts. "I think this is a wonderful idea, Hermione. Of course you're right that real-world application rarely focuses on one discipline, and encouraging the students to draw on their knowledge from multiple subjects would prepare them for greater success once they leave these halls."

Hermione almost seemed surprised by his instant praise of her idea. "Really, Severus? You think we should move forward with it?" she asked in a tone that lacked the confidence he'd seen her develop throughout her mastery and her first few months as a professor.

"Of course, Hermione." he reassured her, realizing he'd rarely had the opportunity in his many years as her teacher and later even as a mentor to express his true admiration of her intelligence and hard work. "I know I haven't always been forthcoming with praise, at first because I couldn't openly support a Gryffindor so close to Potter in my role as a spy and then subsequently because the practice had become so uncomfortable I'm the intervening years, but you have always impressed me my dear, and your intelligence is one of the many traits I favor in you."

She blushed fiercely as her eyes sparkled with an emotion he couldn't place for a moment before he continued. "If I might ask, what inspired the idea?"

"Well," she admitted sheepishly, "it was my realization after we heard about the trial at St. Mungo's that I hadn't even considered combining disciplines to try to help my parents." She hung her head for a moment. "It was rather short-sighted of me, honestly. It pains me to think I could have started working on this years ago if only I had realized..." she trailed off, her eyes brimming with tears of frustration that she could have potentially restored her parents' memories years earlier if she had only she had thought to consider combining charms with potions. Now they might miss out on their grandchild's earliest years because she had been so shortsighted.

Severus rose from the high-backed chair and moved quickly to her side as he advised, "Hermione, you're absolutely right that we don't prepare our students well for cross-disciplinary application of their studies once they've graduated. You didn't have the knowledge or experience to know that you should consider mixing your charms work with potions to increase the possibility of effectiveness. We failed you as an education institution in that respect," he said as he grasped her hands comfortingly, before he added, "and I failed you as a teacher."

Her eyes snapped to his as she realized he too must be feeling guilt that their child's grandparents may have had the opportunity to be more involved in their baby's life, in their whole family's life if they had started earlier. Generally Severus didn't betray many of his emotions outwardly, but in that moment, Hermione could see the regret plainly written on his face.

She rose from her chair and wrapped her arms around his neck as she replied, "You shouldn't blame yourself, love. The war put us all in impossible positions, and we had to do the best we could with the tools and the time we had. I only wish my parents could see how happy I am with you and be a part of our lives. I hope that one day, with your help, they might be." She stroked the back of his neck lovingly with her thumb as his expression softened.

He wrapped one arm around her waist and caressed the swell of their baby gently with the other as he considered whether he should bring up his idea about the St. Mungo's trial with her. Deciding that their conversation had naturally led to an ideal opportunity to discuss it, he pulled back momentarily as he debated how to best approach the subject."

"Hermione...speaking of the trial, I had an idea I want to discuss with you. I understand your concerns about allowing someone from the research team to conduct the legilimency portion of the study, and I've been attempting to research whether there might be a way to alter the potion to protect you from any ill-intent on the part of the legilimens."

"Oh?" she questioned. "Were you able to find an alternative?" she asked excitedly.

She knew immediately from his expression he didn't have good news. "Unfortunately any alterations that might afford such protections would also decrease the potential efficacy of the potion in lowering your shields." he explained as her expression shifted instantly from one of hope to one of sadness. Attempting to offer her some solace, he continued, "I did, however, have another idea about how we might reach a compromise between our two positions on the matter, and possibly gather some valuable information that may help us as we develop a solution for your parents in the process."

"Really?" she asked. "What did you have in mind?"

He explained the plan he had come up with to her cautiously, knowing parts of it would not be appealing to her. He was pleasantly surprised when his idea wasn't met with anger or outright rejection, and she listened patiently as he explained the way in which he might persuade the research team to accept his support on the project in exchange for allowing him to apply some of their findings to the research he intended to engage in with Hermione. After he'd explained his entire idea to her, she was silent for a few minutes as she considered what he'd offered.

Finally, she looked up at him and asked, "but you'd only agree to participate in the legilimancy portion of the study if you were partnered with one of the primary investigators?" she clarified.

He nodded, taking in the worry in her eyes as she went silent again. He knew it was potentially a good sign that she hadn't outright rejected his idea, but he couldn't be sure she would want to move forward with anyone besides him in her mind. After what felt like an eternity, she looked back up at him and half-questioned, half-confirmed, "It's really important to you that I do this, isn't it Severus..."

He sighed and pulled away from her slightly as he sat on the edge of the desk and took her hands, entwining their fingers and squeezing reassuringly. "I understand your concerns, Hermione...truly I do and I want to do everything I can to limit the risk of any of those things happening. But I couldn't bear to witness your suffering without having some sort of protection, and I won't risk harming you further by doing this alone and unprepared. If I participate alongside one of the other researchers, I can protect myself from any memories that would be too difficult for me to view while simultaneously ensuring the other legilimens doesn't go looking for anything he or she shouldn't."

Hermione unclasped in hand from Severus's and started absentmindedly playing with a loose tendril of hair while she considered what he was asking. He could almost see the cogs of her mind whirring as she debated the relative risks compared to the potential rewards, and after what seemed an eternity to Severus, she finally looked back up at him and softly muttered resignedly, "Alright."

"Alright?" Severus asked, stunned. "You'll do it?"

"Yes, Severus. I'll do it. If it's really that important to you...I want you to be happy...with me."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. "Never doubt my happiness with you, witch." he said firmly before placing a kiss on her forehead. "You are the best thing that has happened to me, Hermione, and I can scarcely believe this...our life together and the family we're creating isn't all a dream." He lowered his lips to hers once more as he gently wiped a stray tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I love you, so much...and I'd do everything in my power to keep you from harm." He pulled her as close has their growing child would allow, and stroked her back reassuringly, knowing he meant it with every fiber of his being. He would do everything possible to ensure Hermione and her mind were safe from harm through every step of the process. His own mind wandered back to the ring in his pocket, and he hoped he could summon the courage to propose marriage to the young woman in his arms regardless of the results they achieved with the trial.

* * *

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! There isn't necessarily a ton of action happening here, but I think it was important to understand their motivations to move the story forward as we see Hermione participate in the research study and also engage in research with Severus to restore her parent's memories. Now that they're both of the same mind on how to move forward, they can start to take on some of those other challenges. I also had fun with Severus holding onto the ring-It's always made sense to me that if he were ever considering proposing to someone, he would be one to think about it for awhile as he would still struggle with some of the insecurities he has that stem from his history with Lily and also having a very poor relationship modeled by his own parents. What do you all think?

I hope everyone is still fairing well with the quarantine. We're both still healthy and working from home for the foreseeable future. Who else has been trying some different recipes throughout all of this? I've had some pretty mixed results, but even the failed ones have led to some pretty funny exchanges between my husband and I. I hope you are all finding ways to stay busy and have some fun, even if you're stuck at home!

Thank you all again for the follows/favorites/reviews. I love hearing all of your thoughts on the story so far!


	16. Unfit for Fatherhood?

The students returned to the castle the following week, and the usual routine of the castle continued without fanfare. As the first week after classes resumed concluded, Hermione spent Friday evening curled up near the hearth in the quarters she shared with Severus, waiting for him to adjourn with her after wrapping up a few of his usual weekly responsibilities as Headmaster.

Severus had been slightly distant since he had accompanied Hermione to her first obstetrics visit at St. Mungo's earlier in the week. She smiled slightly as she recalled the expression of awe on Severus's face with the mediwitch had revealed that their baby was a little girl and confirmed that she would likely arrive sometime at the beginning of June. They'd requested she return for visits monthly until the last few weeks of her pregnancy when she would begin having weekly appointments with the midwife. They'd also recommended a variety of books on magical pregnancies and child-rearing, one of which was currently sitting open in Hermione's lap.

Hermione had been thrilled by the news they would be welcoming a daughter at the end of term, and while Severus hadn't seemed disappointed by this revelation, he had spent the subsequent days seemingly lost in thought. His unusual quietness was beginning to worry Hermione, and while she knew he wrestled with some demons regarding his own father from the little Harry had shared of what he'd learned of Severus's past, Hermione couldn't help but wonder if something had changed to make him regret their circumstances.

She had initially resigned to let Severus come to her with any doubts or misgivings he was feeling post-appointment, but his demeanor had showed no improvement over the last few days and Hermione felt ill-at-ease regarding the implications for their relationship. Having attempted to start reading the same page in the tome in front of her nearly 20 times without success, she now realized she needed to break the silence if she hoped to have any semblance of concentration.

Her instincts were telling her his behavior was likely related to his past and that eventually he'd work through his fears and she shouldn't worry about his feelings for her. After all, any misgivings he'd had about sharing their lives had been laid to rest months ago. Perhaps the hormones were simply adding to her anxiety and she was reading far too much into his attitude shift, but if something was worrying him, she wanted to help in whatever way necessary but wasn't sure if she would be met with anger if she pushed him too hard to talk about it.

She was considering the potential ramifications when the door to their chambers swung open and Severus strode through. She glanced up from the book in her lap and twisted a lock of hair anxiously while she took in the same expression he'd held on his face as of late. He nodded toward her in acknowledgement and proceeded to their bedroom to change out of his formal teaching robes. Although the couple took most meals in the great hall during the week, they took a reprieve on the weekends for some much needed privacy and Hermione took the opportunity to order dinner from the kitchens before Severus returned wearing only a pair of slacks and his button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. It had taken Hermione several weeks to become accustomed to seeing Severus in such a casual state, but now she found the look incredibly appealing and she bit down on her lip in an effort to control her wandering thoughts and refocus on the task at hand.

After two of the castle's elves had laid out a generous helping of roast on the small table in their kitchenette, Hermione allowed Severus to relax and start eating before she brought up the subject. "Severus?" she started cautiously as he looked up at her, "What's on your mind love? You've been awfully quiet these last few days and it's starting to worry me. Have I done something to upset you? Did something happen at our appointment at St. Mungos?"

Severus sighed as he put down his knife and fork and ran a hand resignedly through his hair. "I'm sorry Hermione. It seems I'm not as practiced at hiding my emotions anymore now that I'm not constantly occluding. You've done nothing wrong, love."

"Then what is it?" Hermione asked gently.

"I suppose finding out we're going to have a daughter made this entire situation all the more real to me." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I don't know how to be a father, Hermione. I'm sure Potter has informed you about the details of my past, but I didn't exactly have great role models for parenthood by my own mother and father, and while I've been told I've mellowed since the end of the war, you've seen my reaction to children in moments of stress. What if I'm not cut out for this?" he asked worriedly.

Hermione could see the pain and worry openly displayed in his facial expressions, and she hadn't seen him this tense since the end of the war. She reached across the table and took his hand. "Severus, it's not as if I know all there is to know about being a mother. I certainly hadn't considered having children this early in life and aside from Harry and Ginny's little boy, I've spent hardly any time around babies. We'll figure it out together." she said reassuringly.

Severus, clearly unconvinced by her response, pinched the bridge of his nose and argued, "What if I'm horrible to our daughter. What if I turn out to be...like him?" he asked sadly.

Hermione rose from her seat and walked around to Severus's side of the table, taking his hand and forcing him to scoot his chair back just enough so she would fit in his arms and on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gently stroked the back of his neck as she replied, "your fear and worry about being like your father already shows you are not the same man. While I only know of the vaguest details of your childhood from Harry, I would guess that your father acted without remorse and doesn't sound to be the type who would even ask himself these questions before an incident of abuse?" Severus shook his head in response before she continued, "you won't turn out to be like him because you wouldn't be so worried if you didn't want a better life for our daughter. You care too much to ever let yourself consider that path. As for your behavior as a professor during the war, you were under a tremendous about of duress during those times and forced to deal with the lot of us ungrateful dunderheads." she smirked.

"You, my dear, were never a dunderhead. I wish I had been in a position at the time to show you just how talented a witch you were." he sighed.

Hermione smiled, "You further illustrate my point, love; you most assuredly have it in you show your pride and your love for someone. Yes you will always be snarky and a bit sarcastic..."

"A bit?" he asked, arching one eyebrow in his patented expression of derision, although it lacked his usual seriousness.

She smacked his chest playfully as she laughed. "You see, Severus? You may tease, but you've been nothing short of loving and supportive toward me since we began seeing one another, and furthermore, certainly any child of arguably the most powerful wizard alive who also happens to be a genius and the brightest witch of her age will be no dunderhead."

He chuckled darkly. "My, my Miss Granger, aren't we modest..."

She leaned closer to him and pressed her lips to his. "Nobody is perfect Severus, and we certainly have a lot to learn about being parents, but we'll figure it out together. I won't let you fail because I love both you and our daughter too much." Hermione said as she planted a quick kiss on the tip of his nose.

"And I love you both as well, my dear." Severus replied before wrapping his arms more tightly around her and deepened the kiss. He swept his tongue across the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth allowing him entrance as she shifted her position on his lap to press closer to him and entangle her hands into his hair, returning the kiss with equal fervor.

After spending several minutes snogging like a couple of randy teenagers, Hermione proceeded to kiss along his jawline and nip at the flesh just below his ear before she whispered, "Do you have any idea how turned on I am, Professor? I've wanted to rid you of the rest of your clothing since you entered the room tonight." she half moaned.

Severus sucked in a breath as he encouraged Hermione to wrap her legs around him and shocked her, despite her ever-growing stomach, by lifting her easily and walking briskly into their bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them to keep Crookshanks confined to the rest of their quarters. Severus's post-coital bliss had been interrupted one too many times by Crookshanks deciding to make his way onto the back of their headboard and pounce from above when he wanted to be fed or required his mistress's affection.

Severus smirked as he laid his beautiful lover gently on the bed and took in her wanton expression. "Have you reached the point in pregnancy my dear where it is said that women become insatiable?"

Hermione blushed slightly before grabbing his hands and pulling him into position between her legs before starting to unbutton his shirt hastily. "My hormones might be a contributing factor, but I'll think you'll find Headmaster that I'll want you just as fervently after the baby is born." She pushed his shirt off his arms and started to unfasten his pants before he stilled her hands momentarily.

"How about I level the playing field, my dear." he said as he pushed the cotton t-shirt she had been wearing over her head and skillfully reached behind her to unclasp her bra. He wasted no time in taking one of her nipples into her mouth and gently teasing the bud between his teeth while he lightly pinched it's sister with his other hand. Hermione arched her back wantonly as her arousal only increased. She allowed him to tease her for only a minute or two more before she wandlessly and wordlessly vanished their remaining clothes and wrapped her hand around his hardening erection.

Severus sucked in a breath as his hips involuntarily jerked toward hers. "If you keep that up this will be over before it gets started." he chuckled as he continued his ministrations at her breast with one hand and slid the other to deftly find clit among her folds, slick with arousal.

She gasped as he easily found the perfect amount of pressure to have her keening beneath him in no time, and only moments later Hermione saw stars as he inserted first one and then two fingers into her tight channel and brought her to orgasm as he stroked that spongy, pleasure-inducing flesh at her core.

"Severus..." she panted, "I need you inside of me, love..."

Without hesitation, Severus gently tugged on her legs to pull her to the edge of the bed to ensure he could enter her without risking her bearing any of his weight in her condition. He positioned himself at her opening and slid home as she arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist to draw him further in.

Though they had become well practiced in this most pleasurable physical display of their love over the last several months, Severus was always left momentarily speechless and breathless at the beauty of the young woman writhing beneath him. With each stroke into her he was almost incredulous that he had found such happiness after all of the horrible sins of his past. This amazing woman chose to share her life with him and had given him more than he'd ever dreamed possible in the few months the'd been together, and he was determined to do everything in his power to keep her by his side and make her just has happy as she made him.

Knowing he would soon reach completion, he reached between them (as it was getting increasingly more difficult for Hermione to do so around the swell of their daughter) and pressed his thumb into her clit which sent her hurdling over the edge instantly, and her clenching walls drew from him white hot streams of his essence immediately following. Both of them gasped for air as Severus laid down beside Hermione for only a moment before her stomach growled loudly.

Realizing they'd left their dinner forgotten in light of their conversation and subsequent passion, Severus helped Hermione up from their bed as he said, "We'd best get you some sustenance. We can't have our brilliant progeny going hungry after all..." he added with a chuckle.

Hermione smiled as she gathered her clothes and dressed quickly, offering to go check that their dinner was still suitably warm and fit for consumption. As he dressed, Severus pulled the ring box from the hidden pocket in his robes and opened it to inspect it's contents once again as he vowed he would come up with a suitable proposal for his young lover at the first available opportunity. Putting the ring back into it's hiding place, he emerged from their quarters to rejoin Hermione for dinner with a newfound determination to make them a proper family before their daughter's arrival.

* * *

A/N: I'm sorry it's been a little longer than normal since you've had an update from me! The last couple weeks have flown by! I like to joke that my job involves putting out metaphorical fires on a daily basis, and it has been a particularly demanding few weeks from a work perspective. I have the next chapter mostly written so I should be able to edit and have another update much sooner than the timing between the last chapter and this one!

Thank you all so much again for the follows, favorites, and reviews! I love hearing all of your thoughts! I'm a pretty new Fanfiction writer (I started my very first story last summer) and I'm doing this all on my own without a Beta so I really appreciate all of the feedback. Being the perfectionist that I am, I always go back and make slight edits to grammar and punctuation in previous chapters if I notice something amiss while I'm going back to check on plot points as I write, but I hope you'll forgive some of those that I'm sure you notice before me when the chapters are newly published.

I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far and staying safe and healthy as we all try to figure out how to emerge from our social isolation in the coming months. I don't know about you all, but I miss seeing my family in person terribly even though I'm profoundly grateful to be quarantined with my wonderful husband. We keep each other entertained—lol. Please keep sending your feedback as it keeps me anxious to write!


	17. A Potential Research Partner

A week later, Severus was pacing anxiously in his office as he absentmindedly folded and unfolded the letter in his grasp emblazoned with a St. Mungo's seal as he considered it's contents. When it arrived by owl earlier that morning, he wasted no time opening it and was initially filled with excitement at their response of the lead researcher on the memory recovery trial indicating they would not only be receptive to his assistance in recovering Hermione's memories, but would in fact welcome his perspective as a potions master. His happiness, however, was rather short-lived when he noticed the letter was signed by the lead-researcher in the trial, who happened to be none other than Draco Malfoy.

As Draco's godfather, Severus had kept in contact with the boy in the years following the war and had be pleasantly surprised when he'd enrolled in St. Mungo's healer training program after returning to Hogwarts with many others from Hermione's class to sit their NEWT exams. Thinking back on it, he remembered Draco mentioning an interest in specializing in spell damage at a dinner he'd been invited to attend by Lucius and Narcissa a few years after the final battle. Although the family still held some problematic views on blood status, Draco had made some truly impressive strides to completely reform his previously held opinions and give back to the wizarding community in penance for the horrors he and his family had perpetrated during the war and had convinced his parents to follow him down this path similarly.

The family had contributed millions of galleons to rebuilding efforts after the war and had worked with Severus in subsequent years to bring to light the ways in which their society was unfairly biased toward pure bloods so a greater level of diversity could be integrated into the pillars of their government. Even Lucius had largely seen the error of his ways and had petitioned for greater numbers of muggle-born wizards as members of highly coveted positions such as seats within the Wizangamot and on the Board of Hogwarts itself. While Severus was sure Hermione had read about these efforts by the family to make amends for their involvement in both wars, he knew she was likely to be skeptical about their motivations and thus hesitant to allow anyone in that family to poke around in her thoughts and memories, even if it was for a well-respected clinical trial.

Severus wasn't even sure how to best share the news with Hermione. She hadn't even mentioned the trial or recovering her memories in weeks. Knowing she would be content to simply leave well enough alone and not pursue re-obtaining her memories any further, he was almost certain this would end the discussion entirely. She'd already made her position on the situation quite clear, and he couldn't imagine she'd want to move forward knowing it would be Draco in her mind alongside himself recovering her memories.

He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. He knew her inability to remember that one night shouldn't bother him, but the more he'd considered it in recent weeks, the more insecurities he developed about whether Hermione would still be happy about the way everything transpired if she could remember that night together. While he couldn't recall any part of their experience together that had been negative, he couldn't shake the nagging doubts that if it had been as wonderful for her as he had remembered it being, she would have done more to track down that man after the fact. Although logically he knew that if she had noticed her charm had been used, it would make pursuing that individuals identity a nearly insurmountable challenge, but part of him still wanted to know if she'd tried or had even considered it.

Objectively he knew he was being incredibly insecure about the entire thing-the witch had chosen him after all even when she did have her memories in-tact and he should be reassured that she would want him, just as he was rather than a disguised facsimile of himself. He knew it was selfish and completely irrational, but he wanted to know beyond a doubt she still felt the same way about their situation while she was in possession of all of her memories of their time together-even those where she wasn't aware it was him in the moment.

As he sat and considered this, he heard the gargoyle at the entrance to his office shift and he gathered himself as Minerva appeared through the archway at the landing.

"Severus, I'm so sorry to call on you at this hour, but I need your assistance with a disciplinary incident of a somewhat sensitive with one of the Gryffindors...it seems Mr. Pickerton somehow managed to purchase one of the Weasley's *ahem* adult products underage and it has put him in quite a...well...state. I think having this conversation a male member of the staff would be prudent in this case and everyone else is indisposed."

Sighing, Severus rose from his desk and hurried down the staircase after the older witch leaving the letter regarding the research study open on his desk. He would decide how he should respond to it upon his return, assuming this didn't consume the majority of his Saturday.

* * *

Hermione awoke later than usual that Saturday morning having had some difficulty sleeping the night prior. Although she hadn't reached the point in her pregnancy where sleeping had become nearly impossible, she found sleeping on one side to be far less comfortable than her typical stomach sleeping pose. Casting a tempus to check the time, she realized Severus must have let her sleep in and was grateful for the extra rest.

After taking her time to shower and dress, Hermione exited their bedroom and glanced around the rest of their quarters, quickly realizing Severus was nowhere to be seen. She assumed he was likely in his office finishing some lingering items from the week until she arose. She started the kettle before she pushed open the heavy adjoining door between their quarters and his office and realized he wasn't present there either. Puzzled, she crossed the room to his desk to see if he'd left a note or if there was any other evidence as to where he'd gone. Neither being the type to keep secrets or feel the need to hide their work from each other, Hermione felt no compunction perusing the spare bits of parchment and notes he'd left scattered all over his desk.

Not seeing anything that would immediately explain his absence, Hermione turned to head back to their quarters when the seal of St. Mungo's caught her eye. Wondering if it might have anything to do with the trial and the query Severus had posed to the research team that would allow him to participate in the retrieval of Hermione's memories, she lifted it from the desk and skimmed its content. She was immediately taken aback, however, when she noticed the signature at the bottom of the letter.

Outside of the occasional headline in The Daily Prophet, Hermione hadn't laid eyes on Draco since the memorial ceremony one year after the final battle. He and his parents had arrived inconspicuously and settled themselves virtually out of sight during the commemoration of the statue honoring those who were lost in the fighting and the various speeches by Minister Shacklebolt, Harry, and even Severus. Despite their evident desire to pay their respects quietly and privately, Hermione had noticed their presence and caught the eye of the youngest Malfoy. After the formal events had concluded, he'd gestured for her to follow him with an almost imperceptible jerk of his head and she hesitantly agreed by nodding her own.

The pair descended on the greenhouses where they chatted only briefly, but Draco had sincerely apologized for the way he'd treated her during their schooling and for what had happened to her in his family's home. Hermione could tell his regret was genuine and offered her peer forgiveness, but expressed her hope that he would do something to better the wizarding community with his newfound remorse. If the press was to be believed, he'd made some truly tremendous contributions to helping others who had been tortured by the Death Eaters and she was quietly proud he had taken her words to heart.

In spite of all this, she wasn't sure she felt comfortable with the idea that he would be the one poking around her memories with Severus. She knew Severus would do everything in his power to ensure no harm would come to her, but the idea that her childhood nemesis (for lack of a better word) would have access to her most intimate thoughts and memories was extremely unsettling. She wondered if this had been why Severus hadn't shared the letter with her-of course she couldn't know exactly when he'd received it, perhaps he hadn't had a chance yet, but Hermione wondered whether he would.

She knew the recovery of her memories was extremely important to him, but he'd been rather vague on sharing why he was so vehemently in favor of her participation in this trial. Based on the memories that had returned, their relationship had only continued to grow and change for the better and there didn't seem to be any adverse effects to their regard for one another, so she struggled to understand why he was so fixated on those few memories that hadn't returned. Had something happened the night their daughter was conceived he wasn't telling her? Surely he would have told her or she would have been much more hesitant to enter into a relationship in the first place if that were true. Did he regret that it happened?

Sighing, she sat down at his desk and ran a hand through her still-damp locks. For her, those last few memories didn't matter-she would love Severus and their little girl with every fiber of her being whether or not she could remember that night specifically. She couldn't help feeling guilty, however, that she would consider saying no to proceeding with the study if it meant that much to Severus. She also had to consider his potential involvement helping her to develop a solution to retrieve her parents memories. But were those things enough to make her willing to allow Draco Malfoy into her mind, regardless of how much his behavior and beliefs appeared to have changed in their years apart?

As she considered this, she heard the main entrance to Severus's office open and he entered briskly, robes billowing behind him. He stopped abruptly seeing Hermione sitting at his desk and holding the letter he'd received that morning.

"I think we have some things to discuss, Severus..." Hermione said as she folded the letter and returned it neatly to the stack of papers in front of her.

* * *

A/N: I know it has way too long since I've given you all an update and I'm so sorry! To make a very long story short, I've suffered a few health setbacks in recent months related to long-term side effects from my cancer treatments which have made it challenging to be in the right mindset to write. Things are finally starting to look up so my hope is that you'll never have to go too long without another update from me!

I have some interesting ideas on Draco's involvement in the series from here forward. I've always thought he was a little shit when they were all in school, but he had to have witnessed some truly horrific events in his childhood and I think he would have seen how awful and problematic his views were with some maturity and perspective. I don't think it would have been an easy road for him to reconcile with any of the trio, but especially Hermione given her torture in his home while he stood by watching (albeit powerless to do much to stop it). We'll have to wait and see how Hermione and Severus move forward with this and potentially involve Draco in their lives!

Thank you all as always for your kind reviews and words of encouragement. I've mentioned it before so I'll say again that I'm a VERY new writer, particularly when it comes to FanFiction so I welcome any thoughts and feedback you feel inclined to share. I hope everyone is continuing to stay safe and well and are remaining in good spirits the longer this absolute chaos continues!


	18. Going Round In Circles?

_Hermione heard the main entrance to Severus's office open and he entered briskly, robes billowing behind him. He stopped abruptly seeing Hermione sitting at his desk and holding the letter he'd received that morning._

_"I think we have some things to discuss, Severus..." Hermione said as she folded the letter and returned it neatly to the stack of papers in front of her._

* * *

Severus paced anxiously in front of the hearth in the sitting room of the quarters he shared with Hermione. Knowing this would likely be a lengthy conversation, she had gone to make a pot of tea for the pair of them while he considered how he might broach the subject of her continuing with the trial knowing Draco would be the one assisting with recovering her memories.

It wasn't that he didn't understand why the idea wouldn't be appealing to her-she and Draco never saw eye-to-eye while they had been students and if the rumors were to be believed, Hermione's anger with his godson had risen to a level inspiring her to punch him quite spectacularly during their formative years. Although he had no reason to believe their animosity had continued with the same vigor into their adult years, he was almost certain their contact in the intervening years would have been limited to superficial pleasantries if they'd had the occasion to cross paths at all.

He also feared her reception of his arguments in his godson's favor might be tainted by her memories of his favoritism of the boy during their years in school, even if he was a little shit most of the time in those days. Severus was quite proud of the young man Draco had grown up to be, but as his teacher Severus found the boy to be obnoxious, pretentious, and downright unpleasant even if he wasn't in a position to share those opinions at the time. In those days, Draco had reminded him of the bullies who had tormented him so viciously during his schooling, and it had pained him at the time to not only remain silent, but egg him on in many situations to retain his cover as a spy.

Although he and Hermione had rehashed several of their own interactions during the war and had come to terms with Severus's behavior as necessary during those years, they had never spent much time discussing how painful it had been for him to pretend to espouse the same ideals as the Death Eaters and treat their children with pride rather than contempt for the beliefs their parents had passed along. Although he felt almost certain Hermione logically understand this to be true, he lacked confidence she would see his current esteem for Draco as anything other than a continuation of favoritism toward the boy despite the change in circumstances that now allowed him to express his true opinions more freely.

As he considered this, Hermione reentered their sitting room with a tea tray containing the teapot, two cups and saucers, and the tin of biscuits Harry and Ginny had sent along with a Valentine's Day card from James (assuming her pseudo-nephew had completed the haphazard scribbles contained therein). Severus crossed the room and took the tray from her arms as he chided, "You should have called me to help you with that."

"I'm pregnant, Severus," Hermione retorted, "not an invalid. Surely I'll be fit to carry a tea tray for several months yet..." she chortled as she rolled her eyes without malice. Hermione seated herself next to Severus and prepared them each a cup of tea to their exact liking. Severus never remembered telling her how he took his tea, but somehow she'd figured it out and made it perfectly every morning. Watching her now, he realized he should have told her how much he appreciated the gesture long ago, but couldn't bring himself to say the words now knowing how difficult the conversation ahead of them was likely to be.

Placing his cup in front of him, Hermione retreated to her side of the sofa and the pair sat in awkward silence for what felt to Severus like hours before Hermione finally spoke. "Why didn't you tell me about the letter, Severus?"

He sighed, considering how much he should share of his thoughts leading up to her confrontation in his office. Although the letter had only arrived that morning, if he were to be honest he had been considering whether he should share its contents with her at all, let alone within minutes of its receipt. "_Technically, _the letter only arrived while you were still asleep this morning. I hadn't had a chance to share it's contents with you yet..." At his response, she raised an eyebrow in an expression that was a near perfect impression of his own reproachful gaze which was usually reserved for dunderhead-ed students. Knowing she was not to be fooled by mere technicalities, he continued, "but I admittedly had considered waiting to share the letter with you until I'd had the opportunity to consider the next course of action."

"Why, Severus? I knew you were writing to the research team to inquire about your potential involvement-surely you realized I'd follow-up eventually to find out whether you'd received a response?"

He took a swig of his tea, wishing he'd thought to add something a bit stronger to the brew. "I know you would have eventually asked, Hermione, but I also knew the likelihood you'd be willing to continue to pursue this option was almost nonexistent once you'd learned who the lead researcher was. I had hoped to come up some idea about how I might be able to persuade you otherwise before I shared the letter with you."

"And what possibly could you have offered that would make me want to submit myself and my most vulnerable memories to the onslaught of Draco Malfoy? I know he's done a lot of truly remarkable work in the years since the war, but do you honestly think I would trust him inside my mind after all I suffered at his hands as a teenager?" She was clearly agitated and it seemed to be distressing the baby as well as she had taken to rubbing her belly absentmindedly in an effort to soothe her unborn child.

"Hermione, please calm down. It's not good for you or the baby. Of course I knew you would find this news upsetting and would be hesitant given the circumstances. I would never force you to do anything that would put you in any kind of physical or emotional distress...even if it did lead to an outcome for which I was desperately hoping..." he added under his breath.

"Severus we can't keep going round in circles about my missing memories. Even this trial was never a guarantee they could be recovered, just another option! What if their techniques didn't work? Do you love me less because I can't remember those first moments together? We didn't even know who each other was at the time!" she exclaimed worriedly.

"Of course not, Hermione." He moved closer to her and took hold of her hands before continuing. "_Nothing _could change the way I feel about you Hermione and I will love you just as fiercely whether or not you ever recovered your memories. I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to do everything in your power to recover all of those moments" he admitted defeated.

Hermione huffed in frustration, "Of course I wish I was able to bring back those memories and still hope I might, but I'm not willing to risk my mental health or sanity to do so! If it doesn't change your affection for me, I don't understand why this is so important to you!"

"Because it might change the way you feel about _me..." _he whispered resignedly before he rose from his position beside her and walked into their makeshift library, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

Hermione sat in stunned silence for what could have been a few minutes or a few hours after Severus left the room. Had something happened the night their daughter was conceived that would upset her if she were to remember? Had she done something to give him the impression she didn't return his feelings for her with equal ferocity?

Knowing she couldn't let the conversation end on that note, she gathered her thoughts before Hermione followed Severus into their library, knocking gently as she opened the door in a quiet refusal to allow him to turn her away. Taking in his pained expression as he met her gaze, Hermione's heart clenched at the thought he was hurting so deeply. "Severus, we need to talk about this. I know you're struggling, but this isn't going to get any better if we keep dancing around the subject."

"I know," he said quietly, "I'm sorry I left so suddenly. I was feeling out of my depth emotionally."

Hermione nodded as she crossed the room and said in the chair adjacent hers. "Have I done something to make you doubt my regard for you, Severus? If I have, please tell me so I can..."

"No, Hermione. You have done nothing to make me feel this way."

"Did something happen in one of my missing memories that makes you worry I would change the way I feel? Surely you realize I was very much attracted to you and desired you before my accident. If something had happened, surely one of the memories that has returned would give me some clue as to any reservations I might have had about our relationship, and I can assure you there were none other than my fear you didn't return my affections."

"I know." Severus whispered as he hung his head in fear and sadness.

"Then why..."

"It doesn't make sense that you should love me as ardently as you do, Hermione." Severus interrupted morosely. The couple sat in silence for a few minutes before Severus continued. "I am not a good man, Hermione. Nearly every single relationship, friendship or otherwise, I've had with anyone in my life has imploded spectacularly at some point and though some recovered to a certain point, all were tainted by my actions during the war. I can only assume one day you will see me for what I truly am and vanish without a trace as you did our first night together."

Hermione felt awful...of course he would feel her reaction to his disguised self would reflect her true feelings, even if in reality that was far from the truth. She wasn't even sure how to respond because she couldn't say definitively what had happened that night or why she'd left without revealing her identity or at least her contact information. She hoped she could convey to him the honesty of what she felt for him now, however, and moved behind him to allow him some emotional privacy as she lovingly caressed his shoulders while she responded.

"Severus...I'm sorry I don't remember that night and can't provide you the reassurance you need that my reaction in that moment isn't a reflection of any hidden feelings for you or reservations about our relationship. What I _do _know is that while I might have been surprised had I known your true identity that night, our interactions in the years following the war would have never led me to simply disappear if I had known who you truly were. I thought so highly of everything you did for us during the war, and despite your initial reluctance to indulge my presence during your recovery, I was grateful for our friendship during my mastery and would have been curious where the newfound attraction we shared that night would have taken us. I've never been one to engage in one night stands and was especially surprised I would even consider that level of intimacy with a stranger, so I probably left because I was confused by my own behavior rather than any reflection on my time spent with you. Unless you behaved in a manner inconsistent with your usual character, I can assure you there would have been nothing to make me disinterested in you as a suitor."

"But..." Severus started.

Hermione held up a hand indicating he should let her finish. "That night aside, everything I can both remember and infer of our time together has been nothing short of the happiest I've ever felt in my life."

Severus turned suddenly and looked up at her expectantly, as if he anticipated her to continue her statement with a 'but' and voice some shortcoming of his she'd observed in the months since the start of term. Hermione, however, remained silent for several moments, allowing him to process what she'd said and comprehend that she'd meant every word, full stop.

After several minutes, she wrapped her arms around him and spoke gently next to his ear. "I love you Severus, more than I ever thought it would be possible to love another person and while I can't promise we won't have our trials and moments of anger or frustration, I _can_ promise I love you just as you are, in spite of any of your perceived faults, and I challenge anyone, _yourself included_, to do or say anything that would cause my love to wane."

She could no longer see his eyes, but she felt him take a shuddering breath and raise his hand to presumably wipe away a tear that had fallen before he rose and walked briskly from the room, his robes billowing behind him. Hermione was momentarily annoyed by yet another abrupt departure before he came striding back in with equal speed, stopping directly in front of where she stood. She noticed how his hands shook as he held out for her inspection a small, velvet box.

Hermione looked at him questioningly until he started to explain. "I had wanted to wait until your memories returned...I wanted to ensure you could have no doubts regarding your answer..."

Hermione gently lifted the lid of the box and took in the small but ornate diamond and emerald ring nestled within. She now drew a shuddering breath as she looked back at Severus with tears in her eyes. "Severus...is this? are you?" She was so overcome she couldn't fully give voice to the question in her mind as Severus answered by kneeling before her.

"Hermione I know our courtship...our relationship..has been anything but traditional. I know this may seem like it's too soon to take this step, but I love you and I love our daughter with all that I am and will continue to do so for the rest of my days. I have made many mistakes in my life, but I promise I will always strive to do what is good and just for you both and take care of who I have come to think of as 'my girls', _always. _Hermione, love, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Vision blurred with tears, Hermione could only nod at first before she finally whispered, "Yes, Severus...I would be honored to be your wife."

* * *

A/N: Ahhhh a proposal! There's still more to come on whether or not Hermione will go through with the trial, but I wanted to give this moment in their relationship it's due and this felt like a good stopping point.

I hope everyone is continuing to stay safe and healthy!


	19. A Meeting With Malfoy

In her post engagement euphoria, Hermione tentatively agreed to allow Severus to meet with his godson regarding the trial and subsequently allowed Severus to talk her into having dinner with the young Malfoy heir. Her one stipulation in agreeing to the meeting was that if she walked away from the still feeling disinclined to pursue treatment under the trial, Severus would allow the issue to drop.

Severus had shared the details of his lunch with Draco, and while Hermione was still concerned about sharing her most private and most traumatic memories with her childhood nemesis, she had to admit the work he was doing with St. Mungo's on the trial was quite impressive. Severus had even convinced the boy...no _man _she reminded herself...to agree to take a wand oath if it would ease Hermione's discomfort at the idea of allowing him into her mind. In Draco's defense, his only hesitancy in offering to do so outright was the need to confirm whether hospital policy would allow it in addition to the strict controls they already had in place concerning patient privacy. Once he confirmed there were no issues from St. Mungos, he agreed happily siting Severus's willingness to take the unbreakable vow to save his life during the war as a debt he needed to be repay in some capacity.

The evening of their planned dinner, Hermione and Severus's bed was covered in an assortment of outfits Hermione had tried on and discarded in an effort to find something appropriate to wear to Malfoy Manor. In hindsight, she should have implored Severus to invite the youngest Malfoy to dine with them at Hogwarts given her anxiety was all the more heightened at the thought of returning to the site where she'd endured torture at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. Severus reassured her the manor had been changed substantially in the years after the war, but Hermione was still struggling to quiet her nerves as she pulled another sophisticated dress over her head, magically altered it to accommodate their growing daughter, and regarded herself in the mirror.

She hadn't originally thought to ask Severus whether he'd shared the news of their relationship with Draco or her pregnancy, but she'd become quite self conscious in the preceding weeks as from her perspective she merely looked as though she had indulged in several-dozen-too-many cauldron cakes upon her return to the castle. Upon sharing this opinion with Severus over dinner one evening, he had vehemently disagreed stating nobody in their right mind could mistake her condition, and to him she was all the more appealing knowing he'd put her in such a state. At the time she had blushed and protested which led to Severus vanishing the remnants of their supper and showing her the extent of his attraction her right there on the table in their kitchenette.

She'd spent the following days feeling more confident, but now the thought of what she was about to do had swiftly reversed any of the gains Severus had made in his passionate display of lust for her. Smoothing her hands down her sides and again over her bump in an effort to reassure herself regarding her appearance, she felt suddenly overcome with emotion and retreated into their en-suite to give her hair another once-over as she tried not to allow the tears welling in her eyes to spill onto her cheeks.

As she fussed, she heard the bedroom door open and was joined a few seconds later by her fiancé who, to his credit, immediately noticed her nervousness. "Hermione, love? What's wrong? I know you're nervous but if attending has you in such a state, I can always cancel and ask him to join us another time?"

"Oh Severus!" she exclaimed as the tears finally overflowed, "I'm such a mess..." she sobbed. "I can't find anything suitable to wear and I'm just so terribly worried I won't be able to handle the manor...what if he thinks I'm a great fool and you're an idiot for tying yourself to the 'insufferable-know-it-all'!"

Severus quickly enfolded her in his arms and pulled her against his chest and allowed her to cry for a few minutes before he gingerly pulled her into their bedroom, pushed aside several dresses to make room for them on the bed, and pulled Hermione into his lap as she continued to cry. "Love, I promise he thinks no such thing. Although I hadn't shared the news about the baby yet, I'm afraid he caught on rather quickly that we were more than just colleagues when I initially discussed the trial with him. I thought given his suspicions it would be easier if I was forthcoming about our relationship with him. He said he thought we were well-matched and seemed rather happy for the pair of us..." he trailed off as he gingerly stroked Hermione's perfectly curled hair and attempted to comfort the crying witch.

Eventually her breathing evened out and Hermione pulled away from Severus's embrace to meet his eyes. "And what if he feels differently once he finds out about the baby? I can't imagine he'd be thrilled with the idea of you marrying and reproducing with a Gryffindor..."

Severus chuckled. "Give the boy a little credit, Hermione. He's long past the days of strict house allegiances. In fact, he's rather resentful of them these days after everything he and his family went through during the war. I know it pales in comparison to the role you played, but the Malfoys certainly did not have an easy time navigating Voldemort's mercurial moods, especially toward the end. I'm sure even you could see how conflicted he was with the decision to take the mark?"

She considered this for a moment and eventually nodded in agreement. "I know he's really tried to redeem himself and his family since the end of the war, and I've been really impressed with what I've seen of his efforts..." she sniffed, "...but I can't tell if it's genuine or if he's only trying to save face in the court of public opinion."

"It's a fair question," replied Severus, "but I _really_ do think he's remorseful for his role in the war. I've known Draco since he was a baby, and he's never been one to contribute anything more than the minimum effort necessary unless it was for something he truly wanted or cared about. With the amount of time, money, and energy he's invested into his post-Hogwarts studies and research after the war, I can safely say he is very much personally invested in everything has been striving to do since the end of the war, and not just because of his public perception. He genuinely wants to make our world better in atonement for the misdeeds of his youth."

Hermione stood and paced back and forth across their bedroom as she considered Severus's words. She knew he wouldn't knowingly paint a false picture of his godson's motivations, even if it did benefit him in the short-term. She had been clear when she agreed to this dinner that if this went tits-up, she would lay the blame almost entirely in Severus's hands for any additional suffering on her part at the hands of Draco Malfoy.

The other consideration weighing on her mind was her parents: this seemed to be the only remaining option if she had any hope of restoring their memories. She wanted so desperately for them to know their granddaughter and her future husband. She wanted to be able to celebrate holidays and special moments with them and reestablish the close bond she'd had with her parents as an only child. While she knew the trial was no guarantee of that outcome, it was seemingly the last remaining avenue she hadn't yet pursued to recover their memories.

Rising from her place in Severus's lap, Hermione sighed as she acknowledged that she would get nowhere unless she met with the boy, and with a newfound determination she returned to the bathroom to touch up her hair and makeup, which had both surprisingly withstood her outburst, and returned to their bedroom and nodded at Severus as she declared, "Alright...I'm ready. Let's get this over with."

Severus crossed the room and took her hand in his, pulling her back toward him momentarily and lowered his lips to hers for a chaste kiss. "No matter what happens or what you decide, I will respect your decision and will love you and our daughter with all my heart for the rest of my days." She smiled up at him as she tightened her grasp on his hand and pulled them into their sitting room and into the floo as he grabbed a fistful of floo powder and clearly enunciated their destination.

* * *

After returning home much later that evening, Hermione had retired almost immediately and Severus sat awake in their sitting room sipping from a tumbler of firewhiskey and considered everything that had happened that night. He had been surprised by how well the reunion had seemed to go between Hermione and the Malfoy heir, even if she had requested to consider the decision for a few more days after their meeting. He had been thrilled that it wasn't an outright no, but he wasn't sure there was anything else to be done in the hopes of enticing her to agree.

When they had arrived at the manor earlier in the evening, Draco himself had been the one to greet the couple approaching Hermione first. He took her right hand in his without hesitation and kissed the air above it as was a customary sign of respect in pureblood circles. Severus hadn't been sure if Hermione was aware of the tradition, but he had seen an inkling surprise in her face followed by appeared to be a genuine, unforced smile and surmised she had some idea that Draco was attempting to convey respect for her. Whether or not she trusted the motivation behind it remained to be seen.

Draco moved to shake Severus's hand and as he clapped him jovially on the back he exclaimed, "Well, Godfather you shared with me you and Granger here were seeing one another during our lunch, but you didn't mention how quickly things were progressing!" he said gesturing toward Hermione's swollen belly. "How long have you two been together anyways?"

Hermione blushed spectacularly and Severus struggled not to smirk as the redness traveled down Hermione's neck and into her ample cleavage which was even more pronounced with her pregnancy. "I don't believe that's any of your business Mr. Malfoy." replied Severus coyly. "I hear your new beau has similarly found herself in a delicate condition...would you invite me to ask similar questions of her upon our first meeting in years?"

It was Draco's turn to blush and he coughed in embarrassment. "Sorry, Granger. I wasn't trying to...I mean I wasn't...ahem...why do you both come in. The house elves have prepared a delicious meal for us all!" Noticing Hermione's thinly annoyed look that the family still had house elves in their employ, he continued, "Don't worry Granger. After the estate was thrust unceremoniously into my hands, I offered all of them their freedom if they'd like, and while the ones who remained refused to accept pay, I have forced upon them alternative compensation in the way of furnishings for their dens and vacation days and the like. I refuse to run my home in the same manner as my parents did.

Hermione had seemed genuinely surprised by this and it prompted her to speak for the first time since their arrival, "I'm impressed Draco. Perhaps I underestimated you after all."

Severus pulled out Hermione's seat at the table and after ensuring she was seated comfortably he took his place at her side. As Draco sat across from them, his expression visibly softening as he turned to speak to Hermione directly. "Hermione, I know I was a proper arse to you for the majority of our acquaintance and you have little reason to acknowledge my existence let alone trust me. The horrors you suffered at the hands of my family are completely unforgivable, and although I tried to apologize at the memorial several years ago, I fear nothing I say can truly reflect the remorse I feel for the part I played during the war. I only hope you will allow me to help you both through my trial so that I may attempt to atone for some of the awful things I've done to you over the years."

Hermione sat silently stunned as food appeared in front of the triad on the table. Taking a deep breath she looked at Draco who was uncharacteristically fiddling with his hands as he sat awaiting her response. Severus knew from their previous discussions she wasn't mentally prepared to offer forgiveness yet, but as she invited him to tell her more about the trial, Severus knew she was offering an olive branch in the hopes that one day she might be able to bridge the remainder of that gap.

Much to Severus's surprise, they spent the next 3 hours going over the preliminary findings, pausing only briefly for Draco to invite them into his home office where he could show Hermione the data he'd gathered thus far and had subsequently been analyzing. Severus could tell she was intrigued and even hopeful about the results he'd presented regarding the first phases of the study, and he knew she was genuinely considering the possibilities when she started asking Draco about other potential applications after admitting she'd read all the findings that had been published so far.

"What about the retrieval of memories that had been intentionally removed and weren't the result of an accident or overexposure to the Cruciatus? Could the process be used similarly in those circumstances?" she asked.

"It would certainly be worth a shot! It hasn't been tested in that capacity so it's possible the potion may need to be altered to account for certain targeted memories having been removed rather than the seemingly random missing memories created by an accidental spell or a curse, but the theory would be similar across both situations. Why do you ask?"

To the untrained eye, Severus remained impassively calm and composed as Draco inquired about the reason behind Hermione's line of questioning, but one look from his godson and he knew the boy had noticed the nearly imperceptible tightening of Severus shoulders and jaw and knew he'd hit a nerve.

"I'm sorry, Granger." Draco offered quickly, "It wasn't my place to..."

"Please," she replied, "I think it's about time you start calling me Hermione...and I'm asking for my parents." She sighed, steadying herself before she explained, "In an effort to protect them during the war, I removed all of their memories of me and planted a desire to move to New Zealand where they've been in hiding ever since. Even if I could have persuaded them to flee the country without me, I couldn't risk they would let anything slip that might put them at risk because of me..." she trailed off as a single tear escaped her eye and she looked down in shame and sadness at what she had done.

Draco sat stunned momentarily before Severus noticed a shift in his eyes and expression that indicated he had stopped occluding and wanted his godfather to press into his mind. Severus cast a non verbal Legilimens and upon entering his godson's thoughts was met with a hesitant question: _Did you tell her? _Severus shook his head such that only Draco noticed his response. _May I?_ Severus gave him a curt nod.

"Hermione," Draco started as he circled the desk to sit on the edge closest to her. He took her hand gently in his as he continued, "as hard as I'm sure it was for you to do that, you saved their lives. Having lived in the house that was used regularly for meetings, I often heard when various targets and attacks were planned, and your parents were one of the first that was attempted after you went on the run with Potter and Weasley." He spoke softly and without vehemence despite using her friends' surnames only.

Hermione drew a shuddering breath, unable to respond before Draco continued, "Please, let me help you get them back? Nothing I ever do would make up for the things you suffered because of me, but please let me do the one thing I _can _that would make your life happier after all the pain I've caused?"

Hermione sat in stunned silence for a few moments with tears streaming quietly down her face. Severus was about to step in and relieve the boy by offering to return to discuss it at a later date when Hermione finally whispered, "I'll consider it." Knowing this was all the ground she'd be willing to cede that night, Severus shook his godson's hand as they exchanged farewells and he returned himself and Hermione to their quarters at Hogwarts through the floo in Draco's office.

_I'll consider it. _It was more than he'd honestly dared hope for after everything that had transpired between his beloved and his godson, but as he downed the remainder of his firewhiskey before he quietly entered their bedroom, Severus smiled softly knowing that more than likely, she would agree to go through with it.

* * *

A/N: So what do you think? Draco becomes a (*gasp*) decent guy as he gets older? I've always though Draco's life formed an interesting parallel to Severus's. Yes his parents were loving whereas Severus's were pretty awful, but they were both shaped by their childhoods and their choices as young adults were largely controlled by those upbringings. I always thought Draco would have the opportunity for both public and personal redemption in a way Severus never had, and I've always been curious how that might have played out.

I hope everyone is continuing to stay safe and healthy. I have another idea for a little one-shot story that I might release for Halloween, but I've promised myself I will only allow myself to write it if I can get at a few more chapters of this story published beforehand. What do you think? Would you like to see a ficlet of these two in October?


	20. A Decision from the Headlines

True to his word, Severus didn't press Hermione on her decision about whether or not she would participate in Draco's research study. Days passed without any discussion between the couple about the trial and Severus was starting to wonder whether she'd decided against it and was avoiding informing him of her choice. Draco was planning to stop by and visit him around lunchtime to provide a few specific de-identified case write ups that explained more thoroughly the memory retrieval process as many of the finer details were omitted from the published analyses of the research. Severus was planning to leave in her office with the rest of her notes and observations from the publications in the hopes it might inspire her to continue considering participation.

What he hadn't counted on was the front page headline when The Daily Prophet arrived that morning: _Frank and Alice Longbottom Cured! War hero Neville Longbottom attributes the recovery of his parents to former Death Eater Draco Malfoy! _Before he could even share the post with Hermione, she had spotted the headline over his shoulder and gasped audibly as she snatched the paper from the table in front of him. Her eyes were wide and curious as she skimmed the newspaper for any additional details about Neville and his parents' recovery.

Before Hermione had stolen the post, Severus had noted the story had been unfortunately written by Rita Skeeter and therefore likely contained a variety of half-truths. The photo accompanying the story, however, pictured Frank and Alice Longbottom being escorted from St. Mungo's by Neville and his wife Hannah. From what could be seen in the picture, the couple displayed no signs of the damage they had been suffering from the Cruciatus Curse for the better part of 3 decades. Although none of the published findings from the trials had directly indicated they were subjects within the study, it had been clear that the research was largely targeted at people like them who had been driven partially or completely insane by withstanding exposure to the curse for extended periods of time.

Severus nearly laughed out loud at his fiancée's eager expression as she devoured the nature, knowing the high-profile nature of the story and the impact it would have on one of her dearest friends would do more to convince her than anything either himself or Draco could say about the study. When she abruptly excused herself from the head table and nearly sprinted from The Great Hall, Severus was fairly confident she was hurrying to try to contact her former classmate either by letter or floo before her first class started that morning.

He felt encouraged that she now had someone to speak to who had witnessed the experience of participating in the trial first hand and could offer her a testimonial regarding the proceedings. In spite of his hopes that her memories would return should she agree to be a subject, he didn't want her to participate in the study if doing so was going to be a stressful or upsetting experience for her. It wouldn't be good for her or the baby to work herself into a state over allowing Draco to access her memories, and that reasoning allowed him to make peace with whatever she decided, even if he longed for her to regain those memories that were still missing. He hadn't discussed it with her out of respect and deference to her opinion on the matter; he'd share these thoughts once she informed him of her decision.

When Draco stopped by later that afternoon, Severus mentioned to him in passing his feeling the headline in the Daily Prophet was likely more impactful than any of the information his godson had brought with him for Hermione's approval. Draco hastily agreed and lamented he hadn't been able to share of his success with The Longbottoms sooner. He had been bound by the privacy laws of the hospital, and while he had hoped once people noticed them out in public it would lead to a bit of a rumbling in the media, but he couldn't be sure if or when anything would be published as it was fully controlled by what the family elected to release to the public. Draco was grateful they had agreed to the interview with Skeeter and had since learned they would be sharing the story in greater detail with The Quibbler; the additional coverage was likely to bring additional patients to the hospital who could be admitted to the study and allow the research team to further refine the process.

"Has Hermione said anything since she saw the article this morning?" Draco asked Severus tentatively as he added a lump of sugar to his cup of tea and placed it on the desk to cool to his preferred drinking temperature.

"Unfortunately she ran from the hall, presumably to write Mr. Longbottom, nearly as soon as she finished the article. She has a full day of teaching on Thursdays so it's unlikely I'll have a chance to discuss it with her until after dinner this evening." Severus placed his cup and saucer on the desk in front of him as he considered how he wanted to broach another related subject he wanted to discuss with his godson. "Whether or not Hermione agrees to participate in the study," he started carefully, "I wanted to get your thoughts on what, if anything, might be done about her parents."

Draco chucked softly at the lack of subtlety displayed by his godfather. "You've gone soft in the years since the war Severus. You're going to research a cure for them with or without my help aren't you? Because you want to make her happy?"

Severus blushed deeply, knowing his godson was successfully getting him to reveal just how much his witch meant to him. Attempting to disguise the depth of his feelings, he replied, "I assure you my motives are purely Slytherin. If I reunite her parents with their daughter, they're less likely to hate me for robbing the cradle as it were and falling in love with their little girl." He looked away haughtily hoping the boy would drop this line of inquiry.

Draco, to his credit, simply raised an imperious eyebrow at his former professor in what would have been a rather amusing impression of his own signature look in a different situation. Although it made him uncomfortable, he quickly decided Draco would be more likely to help him as a friend who trusted him with his deepest emotions rather than simply engage in an experiment for purely academic reasons. After several seconds, Severus finally turned his head back toward Draco and made direct eye contact with the youngest Malfoy as he continued, "Alright, I'm mostly doing it because I want to make her happy. Her parents regarding me with less ire than they otherwise may have would just be an added benefit..."

"You love her, don't you?" Draco asked, not expecting a response but hoping the normally tight-lipped Headmaster would level with him about his true feelings, if only just this once.

"I love her more than I've ever loved another person," replied Severus, knowing the weight that sentence would carry. "I know she obliviated her parents with the understanding it was probable their memories could never be recovered and she would likely never see them again, but if I can give them back to her, especially for the sake of our daughter, I want nothing more than to offer her that happiness."

"Even if she never agrees to recover her own memories?"

"Even then Draco. As much as I wish that for her, our daughter, and more selfishly for me and my own insecurities, I won't withhold this happiness from her if it is within my power to provide it."

"I was hoping you would say that..." Draco replied, eyes twinkling as he withdrew several notebooks from his satchel and placed them on the desk between the two of them. "I've already started working on the problem, and I think we need to alter the potion to account for the fact that the memories were intentionally replaced rather than scrambled. That said, the overall principle in both situations is generally the same. In the cursed mind, the memories are trapped behind barriers the mind erects unknowingly as a means of protection. With obliviation and (in the case of Hermione's parents) replacement, the memories aren't actually removed entirely as someone untrained in mind magic would suspect. Rather those memories are buried deeply within the mind to prevent them from being accessed either by yourself or others who might try to extract them."

Severus sighed annoyedly, "I am aware of how mind magic works, Draco...you remember I am only the 'most celebrated legilimens' of the modern age according to that vile Skeeter woman." He rolled his eyes at the assumption his godson would forget he was already familiar with the magical theory behind occulmency, legilimency, and obliviation. During the war Voldemort had often relied on Severus's knowledge on these subjects and his talent for the discipline of mind magic to extract hidden memories from his victims prior to executing or torturing them into madness.

"Yes of course, Severus. What I'm getting at is explaining the component of the potion we will need to focus on. The benefit with obliviation is that the memories are stored in a much less chaotic fashion as there is intent controlling how they are relocated and stored rather than a random or traumatic event. But because the content of those memories are buried more deeply within the mind..."

"We need to alter the potion to allow us to lower far more shields between us and the memories in question without allowing the rest of the mind to descend into chaos..." Severus finished for him. "Is it possible?"

"I believe so," proposed Draco, "but I think we may need to approach the situation with a combination of two separate potions." He opened the notebook to the page describing his theory and handed it to Severus. "The first would contain the current memories behind a separate barrier that would be untouchable by the second potion so those memories don't become scrambled during the process. The second potion would be a variant on the one we already use in the study but strengthened to allow deeper penetration. I've already been working on the latter as we continue to encounter patients with memories buried more deeply as a result of spell damage. I was hoping you might be willing to help me with the first potion."

Severus nodded, realizing as Draco explained his hypothesis that he was likely going to ask for his input and on this issue specifically. He already had some ideas about how they might brew a potion to achieve this, and he knew Draco was likely to recommend testing the initial draughts on one another as they could use their respective powers as experts in legilimency to assess the true effectiveness on anything they produced. "May I borrow your journals? I have a few theories I'd like to test in my lab if you're amenable..."

"Of course!" Draco interrupted. "Are you planning to tell Hermione what we're working on? Or are you simply planning to surprise her by dropping her recovered parents into her lap if we manage to solve this?" Draco chuckled at the idea of Severus showing up at The Granger's doorstep, recovering their memories and having to promptly explain who he was and his relationship to their daughter without Hermione present.

"Don't be absurd Draco. I wouldn't want to subject her parents to any magical interference without Hermione's knowledge or permission. That said, I don't think we should tell her we're working on this until we're near the point where we could attempt to administer the treatment we're proposing. I wouldn't want to get her hopes up only to disappoint her if we couldn't figure out a way to make the potions work in the way we're theorizing. It wouldn't be good for her or the baby to lose faith that she might ever be reunited with her parents. If we are unable to find a solution, I will break the news to her well after our daughter is born."

"Of course, Severus. For the time being then, I will leave my journals in your capable hands and continue to await any news from you or Hermione with respect to her participation. I assume you will contact me once you have a viable potion to test?"

"Obviously..." Severus drawled as he rolled his eyes at his godson, although his tone lacked the severity it once had when the boy had still been his student.

The two shook hands and parted ways, and Severus spent the remainder of the day lost in Draco's notes on developing a potion to temporarily shield all accessible memories to attempt a deeper retrieval. Fascinated by the prospect of it all, Severus became completely unaware of the time and was startled when the door to his office was suddenly opened and Hermione stepped through.

"Severus? Are you alright? I thought we were meeting in The Great Hall for dinner this evening?"

"I'm sorry, love. Draco stopped by and dropped off some research notes on another project he's asked me to collaborate on and I'm afraid I was a little caught up in reading." He vanished the notes to his study in their quarters and rose to greet his fiancée with a kiss. "Would you still like to dine in The Great Hall or would you prefer to eat in our quarters this evening?" He asked her, trying to change the subject as additional assurance to Hermione he wouldn't use the news of Draco's visit to press her for a decision about the trial.

"Honestly, I'm completely exhausted Severus. Would you mind terribly if we ate here? I know we usually try to dine with the rest of the staff and the students during the week, but I've been on my feet all day and with me almost being to my 3rd trimester..."

"Shhhhh, love don't worry yourself. I will make our excuses with the rest of the staff at a later time. They will all understand, I am certain." He opened the door between his office and their private quarters and held it as she proceeded through before him. Hermione bustled to their bedroom and changed into sweatpants and one of his old Slytherin Quidditch Team t-shirts while he ordered dinner for the two of them from the kitchens.

As the couple sat down to eat, it didn't escape Severus' observation that Hermione was quieter than normal. She'd barely said two words since she'd told him she wanted to eat in their quarters that evening. Knowing she was likely thinking about the day's headline and any subsequent interaction she's had with her former classmate, Severus asked her cautiously, "Is everything ok Hermione? You've been wool-gathering ever since you arrived in my office?"

Startling out of a deep though Hermione responded, "Hmmmm? Oh Severus, I'm sorry. I suppose I have been rather distracted since breakfast this morning. The news about the Longbottoms certainly gave me a lot to think about. I wrote to Neville before my first class this morning and he was kind enough to respond right away." She rose from the table and pulled the letter from a pocket in the charmed messenger bag she'd created to carry books and her marking to and from the classroom easier with the pregnancy. "Would you like to read it?" she asked, holding the letter toward Severus as he continued to eat the last remnants of their dinner."

"That's ok, love." Severus responded with a knowing smirk. "I'm sure you'll tell me along with your thoughts on his response anyways. What did he say that has you so thoughtful this evening?"

"Well I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I asked him about his experience working with Draco. My initial reaction to The Prophet this morning was fear that Draco had leaked the intimate details of their treatment to the media. In retrospect I'm slightly ashamed for such a knee-jerk reaction after our conversation with Draco, but old habits die hard I supposed. I know Neville's motivations were slightly different than my own since his parents' quality of life was atrocious and this truly was his last hope of helping them, but he told me that Draco was the consummate professional and took his oath of confidentiality very seriously. He told me The Prophet only learned of the trial and their involvement because he and his parents had elected to share the information with the media proactively hoping to curb the gossip mills by sharing a true account of how their memories had been recovered."

Severus nodded as Hermione continued sharing with her more of Neville's letter. Much of it was information he had already known from his conversation with his godson earlier that afternoon. As Hermione professed her relief that Neville's experience had been so positive, Severus sat patiently, trying not to seem too eager for her to share whether this information had any affect on her willingness to take part in the trial. Finally after several minutes of exposition on Neville's response, Hermione finished, "I won't lie to you, Severus. I'm still slightly nervous about having him lurking around in my memories, but after Neville's letter I'm willing to go through with it as long as you'll still agree to accompany him into my mind and ensure nothing untoward is happening."

Severus smiled elatedly, "Of course, my dear." He circled the table and knelt in front of her. "Hermione I know you're nervous about this, but I hope you know how happy I am that you've agreed to go through with it." he said, kissing her hand. "That said love, I don't want you to feel pressured because of me. As much as I wish you had memories of our first night together and our daughter's conception, it isn't worth it to me to risk the well-being of either one of you if participating in this trial is going to be too stressful for you."

Hermione was thoughtful as they rose together and adjourned to the sofa near the fireplace where Hermione promptly cuddled into Severus's arms and rested her head on his shoulder. "I appreciate you saying that, Severus, but honestly I'm not _only _doing this for you, though you are one among many motivations. _I want _to remember that night as well." she emphasized as she curled her legs up as much as she could with her belly in the way. "I know I've been hesitant, but hearing about the experience from Neville has really alleviated my anxiety about the process, so I can safely say I want this too." She leaned up and kissed him tenderly before settling back into her previously cozy position at his side.

"I'm glad to hear it, love." Severus, replied serenely as he picked up a book from the adjacent table and began to read aloud to her as was a regular habit of theirs. Not long after she'd moved into his quarters permanently, she'd shared that she loved the soothing timbre of his voice (in addition to its sexual appeal in the bedroom, much to Severus's delight) and he'd begun reading aloud to her regularly as a result. Many evenings it lead to a night of heated passion between the couple as Hermione was often aroused in response to him reading poetry or one of Austen's classic romances. Other nights, such was the case on this particular evening, Hermione drifted off to sleep and he carried her lovingly to their bedroom and joined her with one of his academic journals or another novel more suited to his sensibilities.

That night after laying her gently on her side of their bed, he quietly changed out of his robes and curled himself around her, gently kissing her head lovingly and stroking the swell of their growing daughter with his arms wrapped around them both as he drifted off to sleep. As sleep overtook him, he realized he'd never felt more hopeful for the future in his entire life, and his dreams were filled of sunny days playing with a little girl with long, dark curls while her mother and grandparents looked on with joy. Now he'd just need to do everything in his power to ensure his experiment with Draco was successful to return the rest of his beautiful fiancée's family to her.

* * *

A/N: I went a little longer than I intended without an update; I'm very sorry dear readers! I needed to take a licensing exam for my job and got more caught up in studying than I expected during October. I have some time off coming up later this month, so my goal is to use some of that time to write and get multiple chapters ready to post so I can get back to weekly posts starting in December. Between now and then I hope to post 1-2 more chapters this month in addition to another one-shot I hinted in my last author's note!

Thank you all again for taking the time to read this and especially thank you to those who have favorited or reviewed this story! If you enjoy my writing, I have 2 other fully completed works that I'd be thrilled for you to check out if you haven't already. I just surpassed 1 year since I started writing Fanfiction over the summer and I'm warmed by the kind responses I've primarily received thus far! I hope everyone is staying safe and well and enjoyed the Halloween festivities this past weekend!


	21. Another Important Decision

Once Hermione and Severus met with Draco to confirm she would be moving forward with her participation in the trial, things started moving paradoxically rapidly and at a glacial pace all at once. Due to the fact that there had not been any previous testing for this particular study conducted on pregnant witches, Hermione had to go through an incredibly thorough workup that included multiple tests on both her and her unborn daughter to be assured participation would not adversely affect the pregnancy. Due to her teaching schedule, it took several weeks for the full gamut of labs to be completed and for her midwife to confirm with Draco and the study team there were no current signs of any high-risk complications and the potions and study protocol would likely not interfere with the pregnancy.

Once this sign-off had occurred, a proposal to include a pregnant witch in the research plan had to be presented to the board at St. Mungo's so they could give permission for her to participate in the trial. After a week of waiting as the board deliberated, Draco had shown up during tea one Saturday afternoon to inform Hermione and Severus that the board had agreed on the condition that the potions not be administered until the end of April when Hermione was considered full-term at 36 weeks. Although disappointed she would be waiting another few weeks to potentially recover her memories, Severus and Hermione were reassured knowing that if anything were to go awry, a team of midwifes at St. Mungo's could intervene and induce labor or perform a caesarian to get the baby out without impacting their daughter's development and risking any prolonged stay in their neonatal unit.

While they waited for Hermione to be eligible under the terms set forth by St. Mungo's, the couple passed the weeks preparing their space for the addition of their daughter to their lives. When Hermione had moved into Severus's quarters over the winter holidays, they had magically expanded automatically to include the same space each of them would have had in their respective separate quarters. Although their hadn't been any married professors during Hermione's time in school or since, apparently this had been relatively common in centuries past and the founders had built the castle to be able to shift and accommodate relationships between the professors as well as any additions to their family that might come along.

Given that each of the teachers lived in two-bedroom suites, the Headmaster's quarters had morphed into what was effectively a four bedroom flat for the two of them to share. Severus had combined two of the rooms into one massive library and office space to hold their now considerable book collection in addition to giving them both a more comfortable and convenient location to work when they weren't 'on the clock' and attending to the needs of the students and staff during regular office hours. Hermione knew they would utilize the space even more heavily once their daughter arrived so they could spend as much time with her while attending to their teaching responsibilities.

The fourth room had remained empty and was intended to be a nursery for their little girl. The couple had been strategic in setting up the space and Severus was able to temporarily add an adjoining door between this room and their master bedroom to ensure they would have easy access to the baby for as long as was necessary to feed her during the night. Hermione, with the help of a few of the castle's more-than-willing house elves, had painted the room in soothing gray tones and the couple had spent a mostly lovely Saturday afternoon at the end of March in Diagon Alley picking out furniture in lovely cream tones to accent the grey walls while keeping the overall feel of the room warm and cozy.

As Severus was quick to learn, Hermione wasn't particularly fond of the overtly girly nursery decorations and she buzzed around the shops choosing toys and accessories that were gender neutral. She'd asked his opinion on nearly everything she purchased, but they both preferred a similar aesthetic and he'd readily agreed to everything she'd picked. He simply enjoyed watching her shop happily while he dutifully shrunk and carried each of their purchases for the remainder of the outing. As they walked the streets under the guise of Hermione's charm, Severus wondered quietly whether her choices in neutral décor were a result of her feminist ideals, a practical choice with a mind toward more children in the future, or a mixture of both.

They spent the following weekend assembling their purchases in what turned out to be a beautiful nursery for their daughter despite being a bit sparse initially. While Hermione expressed concerns that another trip might be necessary, Severus knew that Molly and Minerva had been conspiring to throw his fiancée a surprise baby shower the weekend before she was scheduled to undergo the procedure for Draco's trial. He assured Hermione they had plenty of time to acquire any of the remaining essentials knowing he could be reliably certain between Hermione's friends and the rest of the female staff, they would have everything necessary to welcome their little girl home when she arrived.

After indulging in a delicious roast prepared by the kitchens, the couple rested casually entwined on the couch that evening in their usual position with Hermione legs stretched out comfortably across Severus's lap and a book in hand. While they were usually either engrossed in their own reading selections or enjoying a selection Severus read aloud together, on this particular evening they had swapped roles and Hermione was reading aloud to Severus from a baby names book she'd borrowed from Harry and Ginny in an effort to finally settle on a moniker for their daughter.

"Since we haven't been able to come to an agreement on a first name, maybe we should think about middle names?" Hermione asked as she laid the book open across her legs and rubbed her belly absentmindedly trying to get comfortable while the baby shifted within her.

"I remember you telling me the tradition in your family is to name daughters after their mother?" Severus replied perplexed. "I assumed her middle name would be Hermione continuing in that tradition?"

"I don't know, Severus. I was teased mercilessly for my name as a child and it certainly isn't a common name in our world either. I'd also feel better if she has some chance to forge her own path away from any of the assumptions that might be forced upon her by the media as soon as they learn of her existence." Severus rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to say they would do that regardless of her name before Hermione held up her hand. "I know it will happen no matter what we do, but giving her my name, even if it is only her second name, is only going to increase those comparisons ten-fold."

Severus sighed knowing she was likely right. "Are there any other family names you'd want to consider?" he asked.

"What about your mother's name? Eileen?"

"No." said Severus coldly as he reached over and took the baby book from Hermione's lap. "That is out of the question?"

"But why, Severus? Surely it would be just as meaningful to name her after someone in your family? Someone you were close to?"

"My mother and I were _not_ close. She was a pathetically shallow woman who flung herself at the first arsehole who showed her the slightest sign of interest. When she became pregnant with me, her family tried to force her to obtain an abortion since my father was a muggle and they disowned her when she refused. She went running back to my father in the hopes they could be a happy family but instead catered to my drunken father's every whim including his desire to beat any magical ability out of me if it was within his power to do so. I under no circumstances want my daughter affiliated with any part of my family or my childhood." Severus sneered in disgust with a since of finality.

When she didn't respond, he looked back at Hermione whose eyes had welled with tears at his description of his childhood and realized he hadn't shared much of his upbringing with her or anyone else really. Lily had known bits and pieces of it because she had been present on a few occasions when his father had beaten him, but he certainly hadn't voiced his feelings on his childhood aloud to anyone. When she finally spoke, he barely heard her. "Harry told me you hadn't had the best upbringing from what he saw in the pensive, but he didn't share much in an effort to keep your memories private. I had no idea it was so terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that love." Hermione whispered as the tears started to fall.

Severus closed the book and reached across the sofa to pull Hermione into his lap. He kissed her forehead as he replied, "You have nothing to be sorry for love. You certainly weren't the one to hurt me and you couldn't have known how vehemently I hated my childhood. Just like most other things from my past, I'd prefer to forget about those times and move forward." He pulled her against his chest and laid his chin gently on her head as he continued, "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Hermione, and I'd like our daughter's name to remind me of our hope for the future rather than remember my troubled history."

Hermione looked up at Severus, her eyes still shining with tears. She looked thoughtful for a moment before she asked, "What if we named her Hope?"

"Hope?" he considered this for a minute and the longer he thought about it the more he loved the idea. "We'd still need a middle name but I find myself in love with the idea of naming our daughter Hope Granger." he finally answered, smiling broadly at Hermione.

"I'd rather thought we'd call her Hope Snape?" questioned Hermione as she peered back up at him.

"But we aren't married Hermione and even if we were I had assumed you would keep your last name..."

"Well I had been meaning to talk to you about that, Severus. I know we don't have much time before Hope arrives..." she paused and smiled at the use of their daughter's name in in conversation for the first time, "...but I'd really like us to be married before she's born. I know how archaic some of the laws in our world can be and I'd want you to be able to make decisions for both of us should anything go wrong..."

"Nothing is going to go wrong, Hermione..." interrupted Severus with a growl as he became restless at the thought of anything hurting either of his girls. "I won't allow anything to happen to either of you." he said protectively as he took both of Hermione's hands in his own and caressed them reassuringly.

"Severus I know you would do anything in your power to protect both of us and I love you for that, but sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. This entire incident with my memory is a prime example and I want to be sure that you have full rights to make any decisions for either of us should it ever come to that. Wouldn't you want the same if something were to happen to you?"

Severus huffed begrudgingly knowing Hermione was right. "How are we going to plan a wedding on such short notice? Surely you know it takes time to organize these things with all the trimmings and preparations and..."

"Severus it may come as a surprise to you that I don't want a big ceremony. Honestly the only part of my wedding I'd imagined as a little girl was my father giving me away, funnily enough." she said with a chuckle, knowing how ironic it was that she desired something so tradition when she believed many of the magical world's traditions to be misogynistic at best and downright abusive at worst. "It's not very feminist, I know, but I always loved that tradition and I'm confident my parents would view it as a ritual signaling their blessing of the union rather than indication of permission or transfer of property. Since that isn't an option, I'd really prefer to have a small ceremony at the ministry with a few of the people closest to us as witnesses."

"Are you sure, Hermione? As much as I would love to bring Hope into the world as a proper family, I don't want you to miss out on the experience of a wedding if that's what you want. Merlin knows I never expected to anyone to love a greasy, old bastard like me let alone want to marry me so I couldn't care less how it's done other than I want you to be happy."

Hermione snorted as she turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "First of all you are decidedly not old or greasy. You're still in your prime as a wizard and I find you incredibly sexy." she uttered, punctuating her opinion with a languorous kiss before pulling away before either of them could get too distracted to finish their current conversation. "Honestly the idea of an enormous, frilly wedding has always been unappealing and impractical to me. As long as I am Hermione Snape at the end of the day, I will be euphoric." she said as she pulled him to her for another kiss.

He chuckled as he brought their foreheads together and murmured, "I would be happy to arrange it then my dear and the sooner the better. Perhaps I can get everything organized by next weekend. Maybe you can ask the Potters to stand in as your witnesses and I will ask Minerva and Draco if that is agreeable?"

"Of course, Severus. We could even have little Jamie be the ring bearer!" she exclaimed excitedly. "I hadn't considered how close you were to Minerva but of course it makes sense you would want her there."

"She always acted like a second mother to me. Even during my school days when Albus prevented her from taking much action against my bullies within her house, she always did what she could to ensure I didn't land afoul of the worst of their pranks. She's the closest thing to family I have left."

"Then what about Minerva?" asked Hermione after a pause.

"What do you mean 'what about Minerva' love?"

"What about Minerva as a middle name for our daughter? Hope Minerva Snape?"

"I think it sounds perfect Hermione." he sighed emotionally as his eyes filled with tears. "Are you sure you want her to be a Snape? Are you sure _you_ want to be a Snape for that matter?"

Hermione shrugged "I may yet decide to hyphenate it." answered Hermione thoughtfully, "but there are few better ways to signal to the world our love and that we are a family and I would be proud to carry your name Severus Snape."

At this pronouncement, Severus pulled her in an unrestrained kiss. After several minutes of snogging like a pair of randy fourth years, Severus swept Hermione up into his arms and carried her into their bedroom where he proceeded to show her just how heartily he approved of her decision to become Mrs. Snape or Mrs. Granger-Snape. He could hardly be bothered she'd want to hyphenate. The woman had accomplished so much before they had begun their relationship, it was only natural she'd want to keep a portion of her maiden name, and the fact that she'd want to declare there relationship to the world by taking a part of his filled him with unbridled joy.

As they cuddled together in the aftermath of their lovemaking, Severus was of a mind to ask Hermione the question that had lingered since their trip to Diagon Alley the previous week. "Hermione..." he started, "...have you given any thought to whether you might want more children one day after Hope?"

Hermione sighed as she shifted in bed to face him. "Being an only child, I had always hoped one day if I were lucky enough to have children I would have more than one. It was a rather lonely upbringing as I'm sure you can relate?" Severus nodded before she continued.

"When I first told you I was pregnant, one of the reasons I couldn't bring myself to terminate was because of the spell damage I suffered under Bellatrix's torture during the war. It hadn't really been something I'd looked into too deeply because I wasn't thinking about getting pregnant at the time we conceived Hope, but during one of my routine exams one of the healers at St. Mungo's told me it might be rather difficult for me to get pregnant and bear children. I couldn't bear to give up the chance at being a mother, even if the opportunity presented itself before I was ready. Of course I'm even happier with that decision given how everything has turned out, but even though this pregnancy has been relatively normal, I haven't allowed myself to think about whether we'd be able to have another. Do you want more children, Severus?"

After several moments of silence, he finally responded, "Hermione if you had asked me that a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to imagine myself a father at all let alone having multiple children with such a beautiful, intelligent, and caring witch. But now?" He stopped to kiss her and pull her closer to him. "If we can never have another baby, I will forever be thankful for both you and Hope because I never thought I could even have this much good fortune after everything that has happened in my life." He kissed her again before he continued, "But if we can have another, I would love to give her a sibling one day."

Hermione smiled as she buried her head in Severus's chest to keep her happy tears at bay. She had been worried when he asked that he wouldn't want any more children, even if they were able to have them. Although he had mellowed considerably in the years since the war and seemed to genuinely enjoy his position as Headmaster, she had never really seen him interact with young children and worried that while he was accepting and even excited about their daughter's impending arrival, he wouldn't want any additional children. Although there were no guarantees they would ever be able to have another, Hermione was ecstatic he was of a similar mind and fell asleep that night with a broad smile on her face as she dreamed of a little girl with her mother's curls and her father's coloring and a little boy who was the spitting image of his Papa.

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A/N: Thrilled to have another update for you, even if it is just a light, fluffy chapter just to move the timeline forward just a bit and wrap up a couple of loose ends (primarily the name) I wanted to have resolved before I move into the next part of the story. The next chapter will be the wedding and more on Severus's efforts to bring Hermione's parents back to her!

Thank you all again for all of your kind reviews, follows, and favorites! I've said it before but as a newer writer I really appreciate all of the feedback! I hope you all continue to enjoy this story and look forward to sharing the next chapter with you all soon!


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